Epic Old-School Recaps

We open in a nondescript meeting room, where attorneys we don't know are standing up in turn, introducing themselves, and presenting candidates for admission to the bar. Both the reasons for this and the historical situation soon become clear as the third candidate to stand is Jimmy, with Chuck at his side to vouch for him; Jimmy turns back, as we see Kim and Ernesto (Ernesto! a truer friend to Jimmy than we knew!) seated behind them, adorably proud...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kim and her full-dress ponytail crutch briskly into Lubbock, TX's City Hall, and down a noirishly lit corridor to the Department Of Building Safety's Commercial Plans Division. Asked by an auntie type if she can help, Kim breathlessly runs through a story about refiling internal plans for Mesa Verde's Lubbock branch and realizing she's not sure the correct version is on file with the city. She's brought the right proposal with her; she's hoping to compare versions and see if Lubbock has the one with the updated conference-room dimensions. The department liaison, whose name is Shirley so let's just start calling her that now, winces and says Kim can have a look, but if it's wrong, she knows she'll have to refile, right? Kim knows. She just wants to confirm Lubbock has the wrong paperwork before she gets "into it" with her bosses...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In what appears to be early morning light, Jimmy -- in his good old University of American Samoa sweatshirt, with a hoodie over it -- reaches into the trunk of a car and pulls out a couple of gym bags, saying he thinks he has everything, but that if he forgot something, he'll "figure it out on the way." Kim, also dressed for leisure, stands next to the car, fiddling with her keys and not quite meeting Jimmy's eye as she checks, "You're back on Thursday." "Thursday, yeah," Jimmy confirms, seeming surprised and relieved that she's addressing him at all. "Unless we break down in Amarillo," he adds with a smile she does not return, instead making a Kimface and nodding. When he comes around to where she's standing, she quickly moves to close the trunk, but Jimmy proceeds nonetheless: "Kim, I want you to know, I don't take this for granted. It means a lot." Clearly, the answer Jimmy's hoping for -- if not expecting -- is something along the lines of "Don't mention it" or "You'd do the same for me" or "It's a small thing to ask of someone who loves you"...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fade up on the lefthand side of a split screen, Kim and Jimmy companionably brushing their teeth. Kim spousily holds out her brush for paste and Jimmy just as spousily pastes it. The righthand side of the screen fades up on the same tableau, but on a different day, with Kim in a different tank top, and although it certainly is not a Bring It On homage, as it is not blocked the same way and contains none of the same elements save a blonde actor, I will enjoy the referent memory regardless...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where last week's cold open catapulted us into Saul's future, this one sends us into Jimmy's past: he's wheeling his mail cart around HHM and kibitzing with the cubicle personnel as he collects their cash and Oscar pool ballots. One woman named Clara has voted a straight Howards End ticket, so (a) it's 1993, and (b) I admire her passion, if not her strategy. "I just love Emma Thompson," she effuses. "Who doesn't?" says Jimmy amiably. "She's so pragmatic!" Clara adds. WHAT A STRANGE THING TO ADMIRE, OH WELL PROBABLY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. At a hallway junction, Jimmy crosses paths with Kim, who at this point in her career is pushing a cart as well; she's also helping Jimmy collect ballots and money, and hands over everything she's picked up from the second floor -- including from an apparently notorious holdout named Chloe. Jimmy's about to go to the third when she tells him she's already done it. "You know you're making the rest of us look bad," Jimmy jokes. Kim notes that he doesn't have to stop at every cubicle to chat, but Jimmy says, "It's called being friendly? It's great for morale?" "It is great for wasting time," she shoots back. She's so pragmatic. Jimmy doesn't disagree; Kim reminds him that discovery on the Cordero case is coming in, so he should get on the stick. Before Jimmy can answer...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the machine chews up critical evidence in Saul Goodman's office -- because that's where we are -- we see a collage of the aftermath of the beatdown Saul got from Jesse Pinkman in Breaking BadS05.E11, "Confessions." (I think? As I've mentioned in previous recaps, it's five years since those episodes ran, and as a straight viewer of Better Call Saul, I tend to just enjoy the show in its own timeline and not care about cross-checking it against Breaking Bad eps. As a recapper, well, here I am, caring, but if my research doesn't line up, hit me in the comments.) Saul's multiple cell phones, an open safe, scales of justice and faux pillars and marketing matchbooks scattered about…the place is a mess, and Saul is grunting as he tries to shift a tile in the dropped ceiling. Eventually he succeeds, and a bowling bag full of cash drops into the office. Saul exults that "it's" all still there. "Meaning what, exactly?" a mid-shred Francesca asks. Saul lamely gabbles something about rodents nesting in it. Francesca makes her customary "k, weirdo" face.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our cold open is...possibly instructive and thus servicey to homeowners? We watch as, very methodically, a man we don't see frames out a square and then mixes, pours, and smooths out concrete in it. We keep getting cuts back to a little blond boy watching this whole process, and inasmuch as he's not in, like, a Go-Bots t-shirt or something, it's hard to tell when this is, though the AM Gold on the soundtrack and the look of a nearby car suggest the '70s. That this guy hasn't found even one little BS task to give the kid and make him feel like he's helping is a hint as to the kind of person he is -- though maybe the kid is hanging around because he wants to make sure he's right there when the concrete is perfectly smooth, so that the man doesn't change his mind before giving the kid a stick and letting him write his name in it.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The desert. A spiky lizard mounts a rock to observe skeptically as a makeshift spike strip is dragged across some isolated blacktop. A pair of black boots stalks over to a grey Chevelle, reverses it, throws it in drive, and floors it. It's a little hard to tell who's driving or why this is happening at this juncture, so let me save you the suspense -- the boots belong to Victor, and the Chevelle's doomed affair with the spike strip……belongs to Gus Fring, as it were, in the service of selling an alternate version of Arturo's demise that will allow Gus to manipulate Los Salamanca into destroying themselves while not implicating him. The explosion that ends that plan is, in this universe, years in the future; the explosion that ends the Chevelle's tires will have to do for now, and it's properly epic, with sparks flying and hubcaps jouncing away into the desert. The car comes to a stop on its rims on the shoulder, and Victor and his fingerprint-avoidant gloves get out as, in a black SUV, a similarly gloved hand reaches out the passenger-side window to scatter handfuls of shattered auto glass every few feet. Victor is smoking as the SUV approaches the Chevelle, and we're pointedly shown his stubbing out his butt and kicking it away, like, if you're taking such pains with every other aspect of this diorama, maybe pack out the piece that has DNA on it?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We begin with some very moody closeups of a hospital room by night, which are soothing right up until THE CLOSEUP OF A LIGHT GETTING SHINED RIGHT INTO AN EYE. Oh my god, I'M AWAKE! JESUS! The patient whose eye is being assaulted is, of course, Hector Salamanca, and whoever's interfering with him moves on from the eye to a check, with a gloved hand, of Hector's lower teeth, fingertips, and feet, the last of which don't respond to the instrument this consultant rolls up the Don's soles. With Victor posted up in the shadows by the door, the consultant -- who turns out to be Dr. Goodman, last seen in Season 3 -- stands out of sight as he reads Hector's chart by flashlight, snapping it off when Victor silently signals by raising two fingers at him as a couple of guys in scrubs pass in the hall. When they've gone, Dr. Goodman returns to the chart, looking from it to Hector to a figure standing in the parking lot below...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The voice of a meteorologist expositing that Palmetto is bracing for Hurricane Ignacio. Then there's a break from format that, depending on your preferences, you will compare favorably or not to the one in "Scream," as a secondary character supplies our narration; this time, it's Virginia. "I don't know where I am, but I can see everything," she says, Sunset Boulevardily. "Remember everything." As she speaks, we get hurricane b-roll intercut with shots of Desna and Gregory, engaged in hand-to-hand combat in a dark hotel room. "Everything that led up to what happened," Virginia VOs. She used to love storms when she was little, because she thought everything would be different when they were over: "Everything sure feels new now, after Desna's big day. Her fairy tale. Except that was all a lie." BITCH, WE'VE BEEN KNOWING. The montage then brings us shots of the happy bride and groom at various points during the wedding. Virginia's still not sure how she feels about the ending of Desna's fairy tale: "But we're not there yet, so we might as well start at the 'once upon a time.'"Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We fade up, of course, at Gene's Cinnabon in Omaha, where a sink is overflowing; a spilled coffee is dripping; looky-loos are peering over the sneeze guard; and Gene is out like a light with an icing spatula buried in his sideburn…almost like he fell asleep in the midst of getting made up, or gluing on a disguise.The Ink Spots croon "We Three (My Echo, My Shadow And Me)" as EMTs remove the spatula, roll Gene over onto his back, and put an oxygen mask over his face. He's wheeled out and through the mall, and he anxiously cranes his neck to see who's watching. The Ink Spots wonder plaintively, "Where is the one I love?" as Gene is taken outside and into a very bright light……which dissolves soon enough to the ER, where Gene glumly submits to a battery of tests. "We three, we're all alone." Later, he half-sits up and squints nervously at a police officer who's kibitzing at the front desk, before getting startled by the abrupt entrance of his doctor. "You were right" that it wasn't a heart attack, he's told; in fact, everything looks good, except for an elevated blood-pressure reading that makes sense "under the circumstances."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Desna's at a shooting range, shocking us all by not being a dead-eye shot. I realize this is sacrilege even to think, but perhaps it would help her grip if Desna had shorter nails? (Sorry. Im sorry. Im trying to remove it.) Anyway, Roller steps in to give Desna some advice about her stance and her breathing, and whereas her first two shots struck her paper target in its wrists, more or less, the third gets it right in the center of its chest. Desna is proud, excited, and horny; when Roller goes in to kiss her, she sort of rebuffs him the first couple of times, but can't deny her hot pants what they want, and almost immediately he's picking her up onto the little ledge in her booth. "Hurry up," she tells him. "I've got a fake wedding to plan."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We open at the commune. Apparently the Nail Artisans have shut down the shop in the middle of the day, yet again, to gather around Dean in the moments following Desna's arrest. Jenn calls the police station to try to locate Desna, and I'm grateful to whichever writer decided Jenn should spell Desna's surname, because as recently as two episodes ago, the closing credits called Dean and Desna's mother "Miss Sims." Now it's canon -- SIMMS -- and I don't have to go back and edit all my old recaps a THIRD time...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

More time is filled by Desna flashing back through memories of various times Zlata and Gregory made her think she was special. Virginia and Dean come out looking for her and are thrown by the catatonia that has immobilized Desna's whole body except the fingernails of her right hand, which she's tapping on the arm of her chair. When Desna doesn't respond to her, Virginia picks up the blackened remains of Madame's gift and guesses that she burned some drapes. "Wedding dress," Desna finally says, before getting up and telling them she's fine. Dean points to the fire pit as proof that she isn't, but she silences him with a finger: "Dean? Not right now." She turns to Virginia, orders her to get dressed, and strides off. She had a whole night to come up with a plan and couldn't think of one that didn't include Virginia?!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A shattered Desna departs Zlata's house, weeping for the life she's not going to have with Gregory, and is still in a daze as she sits in the hospital waiting room with Polly and Virginia and Quiet Ann and the Hussers that did not get shot earlier tonight. Weirdly, Polly asks if Desna's okay, like, even though they don't know what's going on with her engagement, they do know her best friend's husband just got shot, so maybe she's a little upset about it? Desna hoarsely says she's fine, and Uncle Daddy snorts, "She doesn't look fine," like, ARE YOU FINE, DUDE? It's not like you're all sitting around the shop getting a polish change, damn. Anyway, Desna can't sit anymore, and Roller follows her to the far side of the waiting area to take his turn asking how she is, and as if, all at once, she remembers the many hints Roller's dropped about Gregory over the course of the season, she narrows her eyes and asks, "Did you know about Ruval?" Roller takes a beat before admitting, "Pussy doc's his own Mafia kingpin, D. I wanted to tell you." Barely keeping her voice down, Desna says she can't believe this shit, but they can't get into it because then a nurse appears yelling for a crash cart for a patient who's flatlining, and I guess Bryce is the only person who got shot in Palmetto tonight because he is, indeed, the flatliner in question. Jenn comes out shrieking from around a corner, presumably from his room. At first, she runs straight to Desna, sobbing helplessly, as Desna says she thought Bryce was stable. Jenn doesn't answer at first, catching her breath, and then having an epiphany, telling Desna, "You did this. You remember how you said that we could trust Zlata?" She turns to the other Nail Artisans standing in the doorway to get them to agree with her; wide-eyed, they all nod. "I was wrong, Jenn!" cries Desna. "This is your fault," says Jenn. "All of it. All of it. ALL OF IT!" With no good answer, Desna turns and quickly stalks out. Maybe if Jenn had been more understanding, Desna would be on her way to get her some clothes that aren't covered in her possibly dying husband's guts.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now: we're at the grand opening of Suncoast Rejuvenation 2, the first of the four new clinics Zlata's planning to open. Uncle Daddy has shown up to pout about it/annoy me yet again by inaccurately describing Zlata as a "Commie." (The Hussers tend to alternate this slur with "Putin bitch," the latter probably being a lot closer to the facts.) Uncle Daddy goes on to slag Desna as "that dashiki Barbie," at which Bryce scolds him for being offensive, though I actually think Desna would cheerfully accept that nickname...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We open on Quiet Ann, startled from sleep by her ringing phone. It's the Department of Children and Families -- but though the agency was so recently used as a cudgel against Jenn, this call is to deliver what should be happy news: "We have a baby for you and your partner." Quiet Ann takes a long moment, perhaps pondering whether she wants to try to pursue an adoption on her own, and then says, "We won't be able to make it." As her eyes alight on a sweet snapshot of herself with Arlene, Quiet Ann clears her throat and adds, "She and I aren't together anymore?" The social worker awkwardly tells Quiet Ann that if something changes, she should let them know, though it doesn't sound like she expects that to occur and quickly gets off. So much for the one pleasant call she probably gets to make this week!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh boy! A season finale! Don't you love season finales? I sure do! Especially in shows like Westworld, because this is where, we are told, all the mysteries will be revealed. "All your questions will be answered!" they say. Although a lot of the time, the audience has questions like "Wait, who is this again?" and "Where were they going last time I saw them?" But there's no time for exposition, even in an episode that's an hour and a half long. We've got characters to kill and beautiful scenic vistas to look at and narrative tropes to deconstruct.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We open in black and white, in a very traditionally decorated mid-century home. As cheery black-and-white sitcom music plays, Gregory calls, "Honey, I'm home!," to the cheers of the studio audience or laugh track (though it's clear from his intonation that old-ass sitcoms weren't a staple of the Haitian TV of Jimmy Jean-Louis's youth, or maybe just that a French-dubbed Ward Cleaver put his own stink on that hoary old sing-song). He's taking off his coat and hat when Desna appears with a martini on a tray, and I assume I needn't tell you this queen can make even a corny old '50s housewife's wardrobe look good.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"This thing in me," we hear MiB say in voiceover. "Even I didn't see it at first." As he rasps out these lines, we're shown water dripping from a round piece of glass, and an image we've seen before: that overflowing bathtub with a hand dangling limply from the side. Again, we see feet (presumably MiB's) running up a marble staircase. "And then one day it was there," he says. This time we see him walking down a Shining-esque hallway, the first of what will be multiple references to that work. "The stain."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TNT press gallery photos of taloned hands resting on hips, pointing guns, and clutching cash intercut with shots of Florida life -- beach, flamingo, speedboat, alligator -- sweeps us through the window into the Simms kitchen, where Desna is eating breakfast (furious that we don't get to see what this queen serves herself for the most important meal of the day, by the way) and reading the English translation of The Kremlin Konnection. She's made it to Chapter IV: "Risk Is A Dick -- Ride It!" Not sure if it's the writers who are confused about socioeconomics or Zlata, but why would this kleptocrat be nodding to Communism by using a hammer and sickle as the ornament on every chapter of her book? If Workers Of The World were to Unite, it would really fuck with Zlata's money.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We open Claws Season 2 in the only appropriate location: Nail Artisans Of Manatee County, after hours. As is now her lot in life, Desna's running a meeting in which she has to tell the Hussers, sitting in her pedicure chairs, how shit is -- specifically, that the two weekly deposits they want her crew to do are insufficient. Dr. Ken backs her up, saying that the safe is overflowing with cash. Desna notes that the last time she checked, clinic revenue was down, and he confirms that it is, slightly. Desna wants to know, in that case, how the safe can be so full; Dr. Ken demurs, but when she barks, "Speak on it!," he reluctantly admits, "Because the Hussers are sleeping on the job!" Uncle Daddy pretends to snore. Desna orders him to stop as Dr. Ken adds, "Some weeks, they don't even come in." Pointing one dangerous-looking index talon, Desna decrees that the Hussers will start collecting cash from the clinic every day. Roller whines that it's too much, but Desna ignores him, saying they need a new wholesaler and telling Uncle Daddy she's lined him up with someone from Boca who's offering "a competitive price on Oxy." Uncle Daddy blusters about the location she's picked, saying he prefers some joint that has a lobster omelet, but she tells him that's too bad: Nova's at 9 AM.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

MiB is crawling in the dirt toward the river, which can't be good for the numerous gunshot wounds he just experienced. "Don't you do it," he tells himself in a little self-pep talk. "You're not dying here. Not yet," he says before flopping his head into the ground. Akecheta, the lead Ghost Nation warrior we also saw at Logan's robot demo back in the day, rides up and dismounts. He gives MiB's unconscious body a kick, and when MiB opens his eyes, says, "Alive. Good," in his own language. (According to Reddit users, the Ghost Nation's language is Lakota. So, I'm going to refer to it as such throughout this piece. If I get information otherwise, this recap will be corrected.) MiB announces that he doesn't speak their language, so Akecheta helps him out by switching to English. He tells MiB that he remembers him, and loads him onto his horse, leading both back to where the Natives have set up camp.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We fade in on Bernard, who's asleep on the floor of the lab, photo of his son in his hand. He's dreaming about the child, and we see him touch his son's cheek inside the hospital room. "Bernard," says Stubbs, waking him up. To my great surprise, Stubbs is becoming the moral compass of the show. Who would have thought? He whispers to Bernard that Strand and his band of mercs aren't even bothering to search for any surviving guests, and are solely focused on "their fucking project," which includes "making anyone who knew about it disappear." Stubbs wants to sneak into Theresa's office (remember Theresa? She's the Westworld boss Bernard was hooking up with, and who he later killed) to get her satphone and call for help. The pair have barely made it into the hallway when Strand shows up, pulling out a gun he doesn't even bother to point at them. "Let's go for a walk," he says, because he heard someone say that in a mob movie once and thought it sounded cool.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's yet another Chair Chat with Dolores and...Arnold? Bernard? "You frighten me sometimes," he tells her (again), as she gives a Mona Lisa smile. It's the standard conversation, where she asks why he would be, and he responds that he fears what she might become. But this time, we get a left turn: after he launches into his lines about the choice he has to make, he pauses. "I'm not sure it's my choice to make," he mutters. What happens next is surprising, yet feels inevitable. "No," Dolores responds. "He didn't say that." Oh, we're with Bernard, then. Of course, Bernard doesn't know what he is, and asks, "What?" "He said, 'I'm not sure what choice to make,'" Dolores tells him firmly. "He didn't question whether or not he had agency, whether or not he had the right to end me or himself, but whether he should." Bernard still doesn't get it, asking if Dolores's dialogue is improvised. "Freeze all motor functions," she says. And here we were thinking Maeve had broken new ground! Apparently not, as Dolores (still clad in her blue dress) orders Bernard to sit and pulls the tablet from his hands. "This is a test, one we've done countless times," she says. "What are you testing for?" Bernard asks robotically (ha). "Fidelity," says Dolores, and we go to black. The show plays this like they never "What doored" us in Season 1, but I'm not sure what the news hook is here. Is it that Arnold didn't have any friends to do the Delos Instagram Cell test besides his favorite bot Dolores? (Sad!) Is it that someone was keeping the tech that successfully allows a real person to be made into a host from Delos and William? Is it that Dolores knows how to use a tablet already and doesn't actually need Phil? Beats me.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Following some previouslies that don't go any further back than "The Summit," Philip lets himself into a vacant garage and waits; evidently, enough time has passed since his SHOCKING SPRINT in the penultimate episode that he no longer looks terrified (or winded) -- just very sad.Like, we may have thought we'd seen him sad before -- virtually every other time we've seen him this season, for example -- but we had no idea how utterly bereft his face could actually get. Congratulations to Matthew Rhys for holding back, marathon runner-style, and leaving this new depth for the finale.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After some Season 6 previouslies -- mostly from the last episode -- we find Elizabeth, in a very elegant hotel, pretending to read the paper at a table with a view overlooking the lobby. Evidently her quarry is nowhere to be seen.Philip -- barely disguised, in a baseball cap and frameless glasses -- (dead-)drops a cylindrical item, which looks like a stubby branch, onto a ledge inside a fence.At his desk, Stan uses his computer to search the Automated Case Support system (an ancient database briefly replaced in the early 21st century by Virtual Case File). Laboriously, using only his index fingers, he enters Elizabeth's name, finding no results. Philip's name hits, but for a black arson suspect in his early twenties. Even Dupont Circle Travel is, as far as the FBI is concerned, clean. (I'm shorthanding it for you, but you must know how frustratingly slow Stan is at his computer, which even if Stan were a competent typist would still require him to erase each search one "delete" keystroke at a time.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Westworld's fifth episode of the season hits a new level of blood and gore, so make sure to keep your Delos-branded barf bag handy!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A bunch of Season 6 previouslies -- and, yes, once again we see Philip bring the fire axe down as if anyone's stopped picturing it since it happened -- leave us back again with Philip, pondering his life's imponderables in the den and waiting for Elizabeth to come home. Considerately, she doesn't make us wait as long as she did him, and when she addresses him, she's still as tender and concerned as she was when she went to see him in his office...at first! She tells him she knows Chicago was hard. That's not what he wants to talk about. She promises, "I won't need you again," which, I know what she means in the context of their former relationship as colleagues, but in terms of the otherrelationship they're in together, it's hard not to hear it as ominous. "I don't care about that, Elizabeth," says Philip, sounding irritated. "But you do," she insists. "And I know that you worry. Don't. Philip, I know what I'm doing." "Do you?" he asks. "You're wearing a cyanide pill around your neck." (It's more like she's wearing it in her décolletage, if we're being specific; it's not like it's a string of cyanide pearls.) Elizabeth declines to answer this, and after a long silence, Philip says he has to tell her something. Elizabeth's shoulders fall with a silent sigh as she prepares herself to be barraged with more of Philip's feelings, but it turns out there is no preparing for him to tell her about Oleg (not that Philip says his name, duh); Oleg's attempts to block the people at The Centre "who want to get rid of Gorbachev"; and Philip's collaboration with him. When she asks what Philip told Oleg, he starts by saying he described her as "the most dedicated, loyal person ever to serve the organization."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We begin inside what appears to be the most Instagrammable prison cell you've ever seen. It's all white and wood and tasteful ceramics and a fishbowl and the sexiest Standard Hotel-looking turntable you've ever seen. From that turntable comes the Rolling Stones' "Play With Fire." The camera floats past a half-full hourglass that just so happens to be on a recognizably-designed side table but I'm sure that means nothing. A black-clad man pedals an exercise bike, then drinks a glass of water. As he lights a cigarette he's revealed to be James Delos, who we last saw signaling that he was terminally ill at Dolores's piano party.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After another package of solely Season 6 previouslies, Stan's opening his front door to a downcast Philip, who's on his way to the airport now: Elizabeth's still having issues with that client who made her miss Thanksgiving, so Philip's going to join her to try to help her salvage things. Stan is dismayed. Philip looks over Stan's shoulder toward Henry, in the living room, regretfully noting that Henry came all this way to spend the holiday with his parents and now neither of them is going to be there. Stan softly says Henry will understand. Philip doesn't know. Stan kindly assures Philip that they have enough Thanksgiving leftovers to keep them all fed for a few days, and Philip thanks him, saying that'll be better for Henry than frozen pizza. (Not to say Stan isn't perfectly able and sufficiently gracious to keep an eye on Henry when Philip takes off, but Henry does have an adult sister who could also come stay in her old room for the duration, but this fact is never raised; it feels weird to me that they don't even give Philip a line explaining why she can't.)Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We open on the lawn of a British Raj-seeming estate, as I wonder if I mistakenly recorded an episode of Masterpiece. White people in Forster-appropriate garb drink and dine al fresco, waited on by the presumed inhabitants of the area. A Brideshead-looking guy watches a woman IMDB tells me is named Grace from the terrace, moodily sipping his drink. As he approaches her table, asking to join her, we realize that the sitar players on the lawn are plucking out The White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army." Guess that answers the Masterpiece question!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The citizens of Poplar are preparing to say goodbye to their beloved Barbara. And it's terrible. Tom, alone in his flat, looks at loose ends, while the ever-practical nurses of Nonnatus House get themselves ready. Valerie brings tea to Lucille and Phyllis's room. "This time last year," says Phyllis, "there was a wedding dress hanging from that picture rail." And, like, YES, there was! And now there are funeral clothes. That's what makes this the absolute WORST. I hate that they chose death for this character -- someone who had realized her purpose and was getting better and better at carrying it out. It's evil, really. I know Charlotte Ritchie was ready to move on, but Barbara and Tom could have easily gone ANYwhere, never to be seen again, rather than this. Jack Ashton could even have stayed around somehow. Now, would we all have hated it and complained just as we did with when Chummy left? Yes, but...hell, maybe Barbara could have gone to work with Chummy! I'm saying there were scenarios that could have been made to work. For example: don't you think Barbara and Tom would have made fine Canadians? Why not send them there?! ANYWAY. I'm clearly ranting as an avoidance tactic now, so let's get on with it. I have many thoughts about this episode's many lovely moments, and a few more things to be angry about...but we'll get there.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After some very recent previouslies, we open on the kitchen table chez Jennings, where a despondent Philip is sitting up waiting for Elizabeth. "Oh -- hi," she says when she walks in and sees him, aiming for breezy despite the more-horrible-than-usual assassinations she's coming from having just committed. She perfunctorily asks, "How was work?," and, with an edge, he replies, "Nothing new to report." "...Okay," says Elizabeth, in no mood to explore which of his jobs is giving him the most trouble at the moment. She pours and quickly downs a glass of water before blurting, "Tired, going to bed," but of course there's no escaping what Philip's sat up to tell her: "Stan came by." She stops. "He's very upset about a couple that was murdered right in front of their seven-year-old kid," says Philip, hitting that "c" and "k" especially hard. "Defector and his wife--" "I didn't do it in front of their kid," says Elizabeth defensively. "He was in another room, I-- I didn't see him." "He saw them," says Philip reproachfully.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We begin with Dolores, her face in close-up. "Bring yourself back online," we hear, a voice we soon realize is Arnold's. As she blinks to life, Dolores's face reflects wonder. "I am in a dream," she says, and as the camera pulls away, we see that she's in a large city at night. Arnold explains that she's in "our world" -- that is, if our world was basically a deleted scene from The Girlfriend Experience: glassed-in skyscraper over city lights, strappy black dress, tight bun, and all. "Looks like the stars have been scattered across the ground," she says. "Have you ever seen anything so full of splendor?" It's a line I hope you like, because you'll be hearing it again and again! Arnold tells Dolores that, after a while, you get used to the sight, and then "it doesn't look like anything at all."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See, what happened was, when Previously.TV hired me to write about this season of Call The Midwife, they didn't tell me about THIS. OH MY GOD, CAN I QUIT? Do I have to do it? I'm not strong enough; I'm really not. The good news -- if there IS any good news, which there is NOT -- is that the up-and-down quality we've experienced since the Christmas special has been corrected at last, and the show is very nearly back to full strength. The BAD news, though, is that they saved their best for...well, I mean...it's just...I'm upset, okay? Let's lean on each other.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previously -- way previously, like a season and a half ago -- Kimmy told "Jim" that her dad works for the CIA. All the other things that happened previously are from this season, so let's assume we all remember them and get right into the action, as Stan...strolls into a bakery and buys some starchy treats! TO THE EXTREME!!! I guess what sets Stan's errand apart from ones you or I might undertake is that we're not being followed by Soviet spies (that we know of) (I guess I don't know your life)...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previouslies? Westworld is too cool for that, you guys. Instead, we're dropped straight into the opening credits, which are subtly yet significantly different than those in Season 1. The fabricated horse skeleton is now bovine, and the faces of a woman (who looks a lot like Maeve) and infant are clearly visible. Dolores's wig seems to make an appearance, and as opposed to sinking into/emerging from its milk bath, the iconic Westworld figure is now in clear, dark water. That, at least, we'll get to by the end of this episode.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And at last we have come to the season finale, in which we will learn whether Rick is actually good or evil (just kidding, he's totally evil); whether Negan will prevail or face humiliating defeat; and, most importantly, whether Jerry will show up and make me feel good about this show because I really need all the positivity I can get at this point.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Philip, having arrived at the meeting we saw him heading to in the last episode, is walking through a park with Oleg, comparing notes on what living in the U.S. has been like for each of them. Oleg's not sure he liked it: "It's different." Seemed like he enjoyed the luxuries kind of a lot, but maybe finding himself with a part to play in preventing nuclear war has fogged up those memories. (Also the death of the lady he was sharing those luxuries with, I guess.) Philip says he's been in the U.S. so long he sometimes can't remember "back home" at all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

By way of beginning: am I crazy or did last week's episode give the very strong impression that Sister Monica Joan's surgery had been performed, and was successful? In fact, that didn't happen...? I want to mention it up front because I know I'm not the only one who thought we were done with that arc only to have it show up again as something that is still not even scheduled.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We begin right where we left off in the last episode, with Rick reading the letter Carl wrote before he died. Maybe he's reading it a second time, because now he's outside, looking at it from some sort of elevated railing where he can spot Judith playing with Michonne. Rick is holding the note, and we hear Carl's voice reminding Rick about pre-apocalypse times with family and friends and Friday-night pizza. This reminds me: it's very odd that we don't hear survivors talking much about pre-virus pop culture or what their lives were like. There was more of that earlier in the series, but now you hardly ever hear those kinds of references, which makes Carl's note more poignant; it feels like he's recalling real things that happened in a real life, not just touchstones convenient to the plot.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The previouslies keep us in the very recent past -- nothing matters that happened before Season 6! no need to hit up the wiki to remember who killed whom and why when the White House still smelled like Carter! -- so let's pick up where we left off in the last episode: Elizabeth's got Rennhull aaaaaaaaaall over her. In the Secret Offsite Garage Of Spycraft Featuring The Wig Depository (I assume), Elizabeth is frantically scrubbing at her face and hair with whatever happens to be kicking around the utility sink in this joint -- a surely fetid rag and probably a warped sliver of Lava. I have to think this isn't the first time someone's come in here to get traitor brain out of their ears; it's not like I expect Elizabeth to keep doubles of all her skin care products there, but even a mechanic or whoever this garage ostensibly belongs to might keep a bottle of friggin' Gojo?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The year is moving on at rocket speed. No, literally: the world in 1963 is consumed by the Space Race, and the Nonnatans are no different, especially since the news of the day revolves around the first female cosmonaut getting ready to launch into the stars. By contrast, looking firmly weighted down by gravity -- dragged down by it, more like -- is Trixie. Rolling up to Nonnatus, she sighs to Fred, the alleged bike repairman: her chain's come off, the brakes are slack, and even her bell has stopped ringing. Dumb Fred, not picking up on her sad face NOR on all these anvil-shaped metaphors, cracks, "But the bike's all right, though?" Lucky for those floating above, Trixie's eyeroll could likely be seen from the moon.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The screen is black, but we can hear gunfire and screaming. The image comes up of a flashback to the moment Simon's crew massacred the Scavengers at the garbage dump. We see a giant mound in the background of piles of trash, but in the foreground, there's a male Scavenger lying in a heap, dead in a pool of blood. As the shots continue, Jadis scrambles around the corner toward us. She sees the dead body and quickly drags it back, moving it away from the blood and swinging the legs around. She covers the body with rags and whatever else is around. Jadis takes the body's place, lying prone with her arms under her and her eyes open, quickly managing to look very convincingly dead. While Jadis lies still, a Scavenger runs through there and past our view and is shot at by a pursuing Savior. More gunshots, and then the Savior returns, apparently successful in eliminating that straggler. He comes back, and it's the guy who was unconvincingly calling himself "Negan" a few episodes back. He sees that it's Jadis on the ground and spits at her, landing the loogie on the back of her coat. "Shouldn't have played, lady," he says. "Not your game."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Philip's leaning over the kitchen island reading the paper like he doesn't have a perfectly comfortable table just steps away where he could sit and read like a normal person and still be within sight of the stairs so he could see when Elizabeth comes padding down -- which she presently does, in her Person With Depression uniform: oversized cardigan (gray); baggy sweatpants; slippers; cigarette. She scuffs straight out to the deck without greeting or even acknowledging Philip, leaving him to stare his concerns into the middle distance.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It appears that, finally, Poplar is beginning to thaw. No doubt because everyone heard the latest voiceover from Old Jenny, and the collective heartwarming reached all the way into the past and melted everything. To wit: "What is a family? Is it the tie of flesh and blood? Our facial features and the traits we inherit and pass on? Or is it the rhythm our hearts beat out marking out the days we share? Family is our touchstone, our haven. Family is the place where life begins." Four seconds in and I'M ALREADY CRYING.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We begin with the back of Morgan's head. He's shaking it as he faces the front of a pick-up truck somewhere in the woods. Morgan finally turns his head and we see what he sees: the ghost of Gavin, standing a ways down the woods, holding a stick in his hand. He's wearing khakis and an off-white shirt, and his gaping neck wound has bled all over it. Morgan is not thrilled to see him. After a lengthy silence, Gavin finally says, "You know what it is." Is it a g-g-g-ghost!? Morgan looks away and shakes his head. When he raises his hand, we catch a glimpse of the wedding ring he still wears. Gavin says, "You were supposed to." Morgan says no. "You were supposed to!" Gavin repeats, more forcefully.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We open Season 6 with Crowded House's "Don't Dream It's Over," one of the all-time classic pop songs of the '80s.This song -- or, rather, a slightly yet noticeably edited version that compresses some instrumental sections and repeats some verses ("In the paper today / Tales of war and of waste / But you turn right over to the TV page" was perfectly clear the one and only time THE ARTISTS thought it needed to be in the song, SHOW) -- plays over a montage that catches us up on how much time has passed and where everyone is, starting with Elizabeth: she's still Living That Wig Life in a long curly number that she's rocking with frumpy clear-rimmed glasses and a pink polyester smock as she dozes in an armchair in a comfortable-looking bedroom.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Old Jenny tells us that, in 1963, people felt like the world was changing fast. Of course, we now know that it very definitely was, but was it changing fast enough to deal with the box of KNITTED BOOBS Sister Winifred has created for breastfeeding classes?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's early 1963, and London shows no sign of warming up. Yes, the Big Freeze is still on, and, as they have had to with so many other indignities, Poplar's residents are adjusting accordingly. The Nonnatans lead the way, of course.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We open on a super-tight shot of Negan's face. The framing is close and a little fish-eyed, so that while we're focused on his eyes, his grin is a little out of focus.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

July 15, 1997. Andrew Cunanan slo-mos down the just-rained-on sidewalks of Miami Beach, accompanied by Ultravox's "Vienna." He passes people in friendly conversation; he passes a pair of beat cops. He comes upon Gianni Versace's mansion, the sun now shining, and as Midge Ure wails, "It means nothing to me  / this means nothing to me," we see Cunanan draw on and murder Gianni again. Gianni's fingers twitch again. Cunanan looms into the sun and blocks it out to look down Starman-ishly on Gianni's body.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let me begin this recap of the RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars finale with an insight from my rational self. To wit:It is not actually possible for a work of art to betray me. A true betrayal is personal, and it is intentional. It is a friend or loved one lying to me. It is an elected representative taking actions that imperil my liberty. It is not, say, Adele phoning it in on 25, or Jennifer Egan succumbing in Manhattan Beach to the very clichés of literary fiction that she so dazzlingly avoided in hear earlier books. I may love the work of those artists and feel disappointed when they create something I don't adore, but I can't claim to be legitimately betrayed.Now let me give the floor to my emotional self:[ahem]Bitch, call me Clytemnestra, because Drag Race is giving me RAGE.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Four Saviors at a lookout post on an overgrown highway bridge get an alert over their walkie-talkies: Dr. Carson and Gabriel have finally turned up missing from the Sanctuary, as has one of the cars, and the three of them are most likely somewhere en route to the Hilltop. None of this is a surprise to those of us who watched Eugene facilitate Carson and Gabriel's escape, in pursuit of what Gabriel thinks is his divine mission to deliver a doctor to help Maggie through her pregnancy and childbirth, but it's important to remind everyone early on that these are the episode's stakes for Father Gabe. These Saviors all pile into their late-model pickup to join the search, leaving their post completely unattended. Really a well-oiled operation, this.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1957, Calabria. Gianni Versace's mother fits a dress to a client as, in a corner of the shop, little Gianni watches and works on a sketch of the dress. After the client leaves, Mama confronts Gianni: she sees him observing her, and "there is no need to hide." She asks to see his notebook; seeing the drawings inside, she smiles fondly and tells him -- in English, idiotically the language in which this and the other Italian scenes take place, leavened only with the occasional "ciao" and a handful of offensive Chef Boyardee pronunciations, which we will get to -- that as a girl, <em>she</em> hoped to become a doctor. Her father told her that's not a job for a woman, so she became a dressmaker, and promised herself she would never tell her children what job they should do. Gianni should do what he loves, what he feels in his heart. Not how I think parents talked to their kids about their future careers in the fifties, but okay. She goes on that it will take hard work, practice, educating himself about sewing and the fabrics…she'll teach him if he wants her to. Gianni nods happily.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Immediately after DeLa quits the competition, the remaining girls stumble dazed into the workroom, dragging their jaws along the floor. Morgan seems gobsmacked as she discusses rejoining the competition, and in an interview she reads DeLa for wasting everyone's time if she was just going to quit anyway. The other girls are more sympathetic -- perhaps because, unlike Morgan, they've been around to see the daily proof that Ben was unhappy.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So, this episode: do you like anthologies? A series of stories that may or may not be connected? This week, our show is separated into six parts, each named after a character. We begin with a big title card that reads simply, "MICHONNE."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I wouldn't call "Ascent" missable, exactly. It has a handful of significant moments, and the usual pro performances. But it feels a bit flabby, by numbers, many of the facts already in evidence, and the attempt to re-foreground the Versaces lands more cheesily than I'd like.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you ever struggle to get your friends to watch a show you loved, and then, when they finally agreed, sit in despair as a terrible episode made you seem like a tasteless fool? Like...I swear My So-Called Life is better than this tale of a teenaged ghost. PLEASE BELIEVE ME.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, hello there! Welcome to another half season of Old School Recaps of The Walking Dead! Do you remember way back in December when we found out Carl got himself bit by a zombie? And that Morgan was kind of going crazy and trying to put a stick through everybody after years of pacifism like he was making up for lost killing time? And how Negan's crew was burning down Alexandria while Rick and his friends hid in a tunnel like mole people? And how Ezekiel lost a bunch of his warriors and briefly dropped the "thee" and "thou" before deciding to go out like a king when he got captured by The Saviors? Well, that's about all you need to remember if the holidays made gravy out of your brain. Let's trudge on in the tradition of the titular dead, shall we?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1996, La Jolla CA. The opening licks of Laura Branigan's "Self Control" accompany Andrew Cunanan's sun-kissed drive into a luxurious compound, where he parks an Infiniti, drops a couple Saks bags in a bedroom, and gets naked to enjoy first the ocean view and then a solitary swim. Later, he carefully wraps a shoebox; then, as Branigan announces that she lives among the creatures of the night, Cunanan goes into a mouth-watering walk-in with myriad neatly ROYGBIV'd button-downs, selects a pair of shoes, rubs some cocaine on his gums, and eyes himself contentedly in the full-length mirror.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It feels like a century since we've had a sewing challenge on any season of Drag Race, let alone this iteration of All Stars, so I was glad to see the gals pull out their needles and thread (and hot glue). When the challenges turn away from pure performance, other girls get a chance to shine, and as much as I'm rooting for Shangela and Ben, I'm ready for some different hos in the lip sync.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You'd think a group of seasoned vets would be better prepared for this perennial challenge, but honey, you'd be wrong.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

June 1995, Milan. Gianni Versace "casually" informs Donatella that he's "arranged an interview" with The Advocate. When she doesn't react, he mumbles, "For gay readers." "To say what?", she asks challengingly. "That the built-ins on this season of ACS are as envy-making as your stereotypically Versace pink butterfly blazer is hideous," Gianni does not say, although he could.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine decided to show his mother Drag Race for the first time, and he asked me which episode I thought was more likely to get her hooked. I suggested the Snatch Game Installment with Ben DeLaCreme as Maggie Smith, but if he'd asked me today, I would've chosen this episode right here.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fade up on a cheery tourist video for Minneapolis, lit with contemporaneously cheese-ish overbrightness, then cut to a title card telling us it's April 27, 1997 -- one week before Lee Miglin's murder. Then we're at the gorgeous, massive loft of David Madson. He's on the cordless, pitching himself for a project, and he promises he won't let the caller down as Andrew Cunanan looms into the frame, and this probably isn't the first time he's done this, but he has his t-shirt tucked into his jeans and no belt, like, why is this a thing on TV?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We begin with a close-up of Morgan's message on the mirror. In slashes of red lipstick our eliminated queen has written, "Keep Rocking and Stay Fabulous." OR HAS SHE? A few minutes later, just before she wipes it away, DeLa reads the message aloud as "Keep Rocking and Slay Fabulous." Slay. With an L. To me, it really looks like "stay," and also..."slay fabulous" is not a thing people say. If this were Alyssa Edwards, I might accept it, since she coins a neologism every two minutes. But Morgan is a well-spoken ho.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's May of 1997 now, and we fade up on a Canadian Home Shopping Network host giving us some biographical background on Marilyn Miglin, who started out as a dancer and transitioned into cosmetics when the hot stage lights kept melting her face. Her face here belongs to the great Judith Light, still her gloriously bad-ass self beneath an era-appropriate immobile inverted ziggurat of Executive Lady Of A Certain Age hair. Marilyn's co-host introduces Marilyn's new line, Pheromone, a direct -- and, for the show's metaphorical purposes, convenient -- choice of brand name, and Marilyn is pretty pleased with her grand unifying theory of fragrance: "Perfume is about our bodies talking to each other without words."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As was decreed by God, the third season of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars begins with a reference to The Handmaid's Tale. Walking down a sidewalk in their red gowns and white bonnets, previous All Stars champions Chad Michaels and Alaska trade Under His Eye platitudes before confessing that their time in the hall of fame has been more dystopian than they expected. Still, I assume they want to visit the secret whore motel.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

March 1994, Miami. An unsteady Gianni, wearing sunglasses and with his hoodie up, is helped down a hospital hallway by Antonio. He pauses when he sees the room at the end of the hall, and its inhabitants: two frail-looking men, apparently receiving transfusions. The doctor from the previous episode approaches and murmurs, "There are no journalists here." Gianni removes his hood and shades as he's told in VO, "There are drugs; the therapies are complex, difficult. But there are options."Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a title card reading "July 16, 1997," fade up on the trompe l'oeil clouds painted on the ceiling of the bedroom of Gianni Versace. The camera drops down to the man himself, lying in bed first thing in the morning and contemplating said clouds while Albinoni's "Adagio in G Minor" begins on the soundtrack -- an eminently clockable choice due to its ubiquity, but perhaps more appropriate than usual to accompany the story of the murder of a creative genius by a grifting striver, given its provenance...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How nice to return to the Epic Old-School Recap style just as, from what I can tell, Call The Midwife has returned to Epic Old-School Form with this Christmas episode.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We finally get a real, emotional conversation between Philip and Elizabeth.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Crown is also going to make you want to punch Prince Philip, the Puke of Edinburgh but...you knew that.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode opens with an amazing shot of two large and beautiful birds, trotting through a gorgeous hallway in Accra, Ghana, as we join a meeting in progress among leaders of several African nations. Four men come into the hallway and remove a large portrait of the Queen as Ghanaian Prime Minister (and eventual President) Kwame Nkrumah speaks. He passionately exclaims that "the time has come to forge new alliances. Those who understand the strategic importance of Africa and are willing to treat us as equals -- not as subordinates and not as slaves. This is our time. We must choose our own destiny. A socialist Africa! For Africans!"Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well. We did it. We had to sit through some insufferable beards, a bevy of blank stares and blinking non-comprehension, a parade of mustaches that ranged from "resplendent" to "dryer lint quality," mansplaining, whining, ever so much smoking, and the dissolution of a marriage we didn't know existed until about 45 minutes before it blew up.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You knew it was coming.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A challenge from a newspaper columnist makes everyone think about refreshing the monarchy, and Elizabeth refreshes her hairstyle.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Apparently smoking is sexy again.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The mustaches of Buckingham Palace finally become a plot point, Terrible Mike gets his terrible due, Philip gets his title, and Elizabeth mostly gets the short end of the sceptre.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prince Philip goes on emotional walkabout and makes terrible facial-hair choices.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Grimes boys end up getting everyone into deep crap.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We rejoin the Windsors with everyone in a rotten mood -- and, strangely, Philip's billowing exercise pants are not the cause.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eugene demonstrates that technical intelligence and moral intelligence are not the same thing.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We open on a wheelbarrow by the side of the road, loaded with refuse, including a derelict microwave. Are microwaves some kind of Rae Dawn Chong Challenge for The Walking Dead this season?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you believe it's been three entire episodes since we left Gabriel dangling from that cliffhanger at the end of the season premiere? That would be pretty upsetting if anyone cared about Gabriel.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 'Some Guy,' Ezekiel loses his army, his identity, and his mind.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rick's plan to take down Negan was going great, and then all of a sudden, it wasn't.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rick's crew executes his bullet-heavy plan against Negan on several fronts. Guess how well that turns out?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Season 8 premiere forgoes bloat while opening up some intriguing possibilities with Multiple Ricks.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices