The Self Love Revolution
Oh hi, I’m Lu. I’m a 53-year-old recovering people-pleaser on a mission to empower women to find their confidence, step out of their comfort zone and fall in love with their god-damn selves. I’ve been on a wild ride over the last few years. Marriage, menopause, bereavement, divorce, emigration to America with my now ex-husband and son, and then back to the UK to start again alone. This podcast is your guide to loving your god-damn self. Welcome to the Self Love Revolution, baby!
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Episodes
Stop self-sabotage with Naz El-Mariesh & Sara Jane Maxwell
Why do so many women talk to ourselves like sh*t? Why do we repeat self-destructive behaviour? I've been lucky enough to meet hundreds of women over the last few years and one thing we all have in common: we get in our own way. We find it hard to say no. We fear failure and insist on comparing ourselves to others. Today I am finding out how we can all stop c*ckblocking ourselves and finally stop the self-sabotage. I'm joined by Naz El-Mariesh, a women's empowerment coach and Sara Jane Maxwell, a wealth coach, who will talk you through how to identify which type of self-saboteur you are, and how you can overcome it.Find Naz here: https://womenarethemedicine.nethttps://www.nasreenel-mariesh.com/Find Sara Jane here: https://www.wealth-coach.co.uk
18/11/24•52m 20s
Dismantling perfect with Anna Mathur
For most of my life, I've tried to be perfect. The perfect wife. The perfect mother. The perfect friend. I wondered for years: where did these high standards come from? I have since realised that trying to be perfect will make for a very long, disappointing life. The Self Love Revolution is all about dispelling that myth and letting it go. This week I'm joined by bestselling author and psychotherapist Anna Mathur.Find Anna Mathur here: https://www.instagram.com/annamathur/Find Anna's latest book here: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/462727/the-uncomfortable-truth-by-mathur-anna/9780241707197
11/11/24•47m 15s
Join the zero f**ks club! Quit caring what others think with Cheryl the Queen & Jay Beech
Hello and welcome back to the Self Love Revolution, baby! I'm beyond excited to bring you season two, and we're starting with a bang. As one of the founding members of the zero f**ks club, I've been on a journey of learning how to care less what people think. This fear can rule our lives and hold us back from being brave and living big. So for this episode, I'm joined by two of the most confident people I know, Cheryl the Queen and content creator Jay Beech, to share their secrets for living life out loud. Cheryl the Queen: https://www.instagram.com/cheryldragqueen/?hl=enJay Beech: https://www.instagram.com/jayybeech/?hl=en
04/11/24•44m 1s
Season 2 - coming soon baby!
I'm SO excited to bring you season 2 of the Self Love Revolution on Monday 4th November.This series is jam packed with some incredible guests. This series we're tackling: stop self sabotage, dismantling perfect, breaking free from toxicity and how to join the zero f**ks club.Set your alarms, baby!
01/11/24•1m 1s
I give myself permission to... Pick up guys and not feel guilty about a girly trip
These permission slips absolutely spoke to me! This week we're chatting about banishing the shame and stigma of being able to pick up guys and have lots of sex, and why we as women still feel guilty about leaving our partners and kids to spend time with our girlfriends. I'm joined by my good friend Jodie Cariss, who always leaves me with incredible nuggets of wisdom. She's a therapist and co-founder of Self-Space.
05/07/24•19m 55s
Why a walk could change your life
Hiking really did change my life. When I moved to Portland, I had no job and no friends. I decided to go on a hike and posted it online. The next thing I knew, I had a whole gaggle of mums join me and so Hike Squad was born. We hiked all over America. These women held me up as I processed so much of life's trauma and grief on these walks. Now, not every walk can be life-changing, but with the help of adventurist Gail Muller and comedian and podcaster Helen Thorn, I hope this episode inspires you to get outside, even if for just 20 minutes.
01/07/24•46m 30s
I give myself permission to... Live my gay life after living in the closet and stop having imposter syndrome
I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. Today I’m joined by Nikki Fenix, a photographer who runs events for women to connect and heal.
28/06/24•19m 39s
How to navigate the mid-life dating wilderness
After 25 years of marriage, I've taken a lover. Dating beyond divorce is scary, but I'm loving the adventure. In this episode we're unpacking how to know when you're ready to date, dating red flags and how to uncover your values to find the perfect partner. I'm joined by two incredible guests this week, Mel Schilling, dating and relationship coach and expert on Married At First Sight and Stacey Duguid, journalist and author of Pursuit of Happiness, who chronicled her dating life post-divorce in a Telegraph column.
24/06/24•45m 30s
I give myself permission to… Tell my friends I'm a swinger and do a stand up comedy show
I absolutely love this two permission slips. This week we're talking about banishing the shame around telling your friends that you go to sex parties and how to build the confidence to do a stand up gig. This week I'm joined by the amazing Jodie Cariss, therapist and co-founder of Self Space.
21/06/24•22m 34s
How to be alone
There's a big difference between being lonely and choosing to be alone. Two years ago, I left my husband, packed up my belongings and travelled around the US on a bright pink bus. I met hundreds of women who felt lonely - even in their relationships. Spending that time alone gave me so much strength, so I wanted to dedicate an episode on embracing the space of being alone and navigating loneliness. This week I'm joined by Donna Easton, a joyologist, Yasmine Camille, is a business strategist and single mum.
17/06/24•36m 38s
I give myself permission to... Be openly and unapologetically sexy and tell people to f*ck off
How difficult is it for you to be unapologetically sexy? And why do women find this such a challenge? In this week's episode I'm joined by Libby DeLana - a creative director and author of DoWalk, all about the power of daily walking - to talk about your permission slips. We're also discussing how to communicate to those who have done you wrong.
14/06/24•25m 6s
How to learn to love your body
Content warning: This episode contains discussions around eating disorders.Feeling beautiful has nothing to do with what you look like. That's easier said than done, mind you. Motherhood saw me put on three stone, and divorce saw me look gaunt with weight loss from stress. If you're struggling with learning how to love your body, you need to listen to this episode. I'm joined by Nyome Nicholas-Williams - known as Curvy Nyome online - she's a model and activist, and Cas Shaw - Dance Yer Tits Off online - a fitness instructor and breast cancer survivor.
10/06/24•42m 10s
I give myself permission to... See my fat tummy in a crop top and say yes more often
Welcome to the bonus episodes of the Self Love Revolution! I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Each week I'll be joined by one of the wisest women I know, and we're going through some of the anonymous permission slips I've collected over the years. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. Today I’m joined by Naz El Mariesh, a women’s empowerment coach and all round magical human.
07/06/24•23m 46s
Ageing disgracefully
I refuse to become invisible as I age. Getting older is challenging, but I have found a power and strength in ageing; I didn't anticipate my 50s being my bad bitch era. This episode is going to show you that you ain't dead yet and the best is still to come. Lynne Franks is a legendary PR and founder of the SEED Women’s Empowerment - she's also the woman who inspired the hit sitcom Absolutely Fabulous - and Rose Rouse, co-founder of Advantages of Age, a social enterprise that challenges the media narrative around ageing.
03/06/24•32m 9s
I give myself permission to… Remain angry at the b*stards that didn’t support me through my divorce and holiday by myself
Welcome to the bonus episodes of the Self Love Revolution! I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Each week I'll be joined by one of the wisest women I know, and we're going through some of the anonymous permission slips I've collected over the years. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. Today I’m joined by Jodie Cariss, therapist and co-founder of Self Space, the UK's first on-demand mental health service on the high street.
31/05/24•23m 20s
You can sit with us: How to make friends
Friendships are some of the most important relationships you’ll ever have in your life. As life ebbs and flows, so do friendships. A true friend for me holds you up, holds you accountable, shows up to bury the body and is your biggest cheerleader. This episode is all about navigating friendships: the toxic ones, celebrating the amazing ones and how the heck you make new ones. Joining me today is Laura Mears-Reynolds who hosts the podcast ADHD AF and Amy Polly, mindfulness coach.
27/05/24•45m 12s
I give myself permission to... Take control of the TV remote and let my light shine
Welcome to the bonus episodes of the Self Love Revolution! I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Each week I'll be joined by one of the wisest women I know, and we're going through some of the anonymous permission slips I've collected over the years. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. Today I’m joined by Nikki Fenix, a photographer who runs events for women to connect and heal.
24/05/24•20m 40s
The power of forgiveness
What does forgiveness mean to you? You probably jump to a time where someone has done you wrong. There's no magical button that can make that hurt or anger vanish, but instead this episode is going to teach you how to forgive and move on. It's simple, but it's not easy. I'm joined by two incredible people: my dad, Frank Hillebrand and women's empowerment coach, Naz El-Mariesh.
20/05/24•37m 40s
I give myself permission to... Sunbathe topless and to give zero f*cks what others think
Welcome to the bonus episodes of the Self Love Revolution! I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Each week I'll be joined by one of the wisest women I know, and we're going through some of the anonymous permission slips I've collected over the years. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. I’m joined again by Libby DeLana, a creative director and author of DoWalk, all about the power of daily walking.
17/05/24•25m 6s
The F Word: A guide to busting finance shame
It's not the F word I like to use - bloody finances. I've been in debt for nearly my whole adult life. I have also battled a decades-long shopping addiction: choosing trainers over the rent and ruining relationships as I go. Money shame has clouded my life and after I confessed to stealing money from work to fund my habit, I knew something had to change. Today I have two amazing finance experts joining me - they're going to teach us how to get our financial shit together. Peter Komolafe and Sara-Jane Maxwell, who is known the Wealth Coach online.
13/05/24•45m 51s
I give myself permission to... Quit and admit defeat and to fall in love again
Welcome to the bonus episodes of the Self Love Revolution! I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Each week I'll be joined by one of the wisest women I know, and we're going through some of the anonymous permission slips I've collected over the years. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. Today I’m joined by Naz El Mariesh, a women’s empowerment coach and all round magical human.
10/05/24•20m 17s
Stop getting in your own way! A guide to stepping out of your comfort zone, chasing the fear and being brave
I've learned more when I'm shit scared: it's where the magic happens. It's better to try and fail, than to play it safe. Comfort is a bloody slow death. So if you need a guidebook on how to get out of your own way, this episode is for you. This week I'm joined by Ilana Gambrill, founder of DanceBox aimed at empowering women through and movement, and Laura Belbin, the comedian known as Knee Deep in Life online.
06/05/24•36m 39s
I give myself permission to... Wank in front of my husband and fully own my past without shame
Welcome to the bonus episodes of the Self Love Revolution! I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Each week I'll be joined by one of the wisest women I know, and we're going through some of the anonymous permission slips I've collected over the years. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. Today I’m joined by Nikki Fenix, a photographer who runs events for women to connect and heal.
03/05/24•17m 34s
The Big D, divorce: How to know when it's time to leave
On Valentine's Day, my divorce was finalised. I'd been married for nearly twenty years and separating has been one of the most brutal, soul-shifting but liberating chapters of my life. In this episode, I'm joined by two incredible guests: Jodie Cariss, therapist and co-founder of Self Space and Julia Margo, co-founder of the sex toy company Hot Octopuss. We explore what makes us stay, when is it time to leave, how to tell the kids, where to go for financial help and is there life after divorce?
29/04/24•55m 57s
I give myself permission to… Take a day off and love without consequences
Welcome to the bonus episodes of the Self Love Revolution! I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Each week I'll be joined by one of the wisest women I know, and we're going through some of the anonymous permission slips I've collected over the years. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. Today I’m joined by Libby DeLana, a creative director and author of DoWalk, all about the power of daily walking.
26/04/24•25m 2s
How to get through the sh*t life throws your way
It's inevitable: bad things happen in life. We've all been through something. This episode won't change your circumstances or your past, but what I hope it does is inspire you to just keep going and figure out some different ways to show up for your shit. Joining me in this episode is the presenter Claira Hermet and Anna Kilpatrick, who is Not Needing New online.
22/04/24•39m 36s
I give myself permission to... Not be perfect and let go of control
Welcome to the bonus episodes of the Self Love Revolution! I’m on a mission to give women everywhere permission to shed their shame. Each week I'll be joined by one of the wisest women I know, and we're going through some of the anonymous permission slips I've collected over the years. Because when one woman frees herself, they free another. That’s the revolution baby. Today I’m joined by Naz El Mariesh, a women’s empowerment coach and all round magical human.
19/04/24•24m 56s
How to say no, set boundaries and have uncomfortable conversations
I was going to call this episode 'How to say f**k off better', because I thought that's what boundaries were all about. But what I learned in this episode has been an absolute GAMECHANGER for me. Joining me this week is Dr Sophie Mort, a clinical psychologist and bestselling author and Jill Lavender, founder of the London and New York meditation centres.
15/04/24•44m 22s
Is this too much? How to find the confidence to wear what the f**k you want
If you see me in the street you'd you probably do a double take. I'm a lover of bright clothes, animal print, feathers, sequins - and that's just going to the supermarket. But it's come at a cost. After realising I had a shopping addiction, I started a Non Shopping Project, where I didn't buy anything new for a year. This gave me a whole new confidence after learning to style what I already had. So if you've lost your confidence in life, your style is a great place to start. In this episode I'm joined by Siobhan Murphy, stylist and interior designer at Interior Curve and Jackie Thompson-Brown from PlanetJQ to share our top tips in how to gain the confidence to embrace your style.
08/04/24•41m 0s
Generation Menopause: Hot flush hell or the liberation chapter?
Hot flushes and dry vaginas, weight gain and vanishing libido; the menopause gets a bad rap. But I'll let you in on a secret: it can also be the liberation years. In this episode, I'm busting menopause myths with Davina McCall and Karen Arthur, founder of Menopause Whilst Black, and we're on a mission to reclaim midlife.
08/04/24•42m 34s
Don’t die without having an orgasm
Self love isn't all about masturbation, but I couldn't resist my very first episode being about the big O. When I separated from my husband of 20 years, I moved into the spare room, bought myself a vibrator and found a whole new confidence in my body. And I couldn't believe that it took me so long to get there (pun unintended)! So this episode is your go-to guide of how to have a fan-fucking-tastic orgasm before you die. I'm joined by Nat Lee, better known as Style Me Sunday online and author of Feeling Myself: How I shed my shame to find sexual freedom and you can too and Emma Boynton, host of Sex Talks.
08/04/24•36m 11s
Get ready for The Self Love Revolution - launching Monday 8th April!
Oh hi, I'm Lu. I'm a 53-year-old ray of sunshine and I’m on a mission to teach you how love your god-damn self. For most of my life I was told to simmer down and that I was too much. I spent years trying to shrink myself into everybody's expectations of me and wallowed in shame. But then in mid-life, something shifted in me and I started to feel confident for the first time in my life. This podcast is your guide to loving your god-damn self and each week I’ll introduce you to some of the best bad-ass humans I’ve met along my journey so far. Monday 8th April we're launching our first three episodes: orgasms, menopause and style. Follow the feed so you don't miss an episode and welcome to the Self Love Revolution, baby!
04/04/24•1m 57s