Ladies, We Need To Talk
Sex, health and relationships – Yumi Stynes delves into the issues women face but often find hard to talk about.
Episodes are conversational and relatable: we talk to real women about real stuff, from sexuality, mental health, pregnancy, parenting, erotic fantasies and everything in between.
Hear from experts about the wonders of our bodies, who answer the question "Am I normal?". Women share their deeply personal stories to help you feel understood and part of a community.
Whether it be the appearance of our vaginas, the orgasm gap or questions about our hormones, we all need reassurance sometimes and Ladies We Need to Talk has your back.
The messages we're bombarded with as women can be overwhelming and confusing. Get 8-hours of sleep. Kick goals at work. Be sexy. Look after yourself, look after your kids, your parents, your partner, your dog. Date. Try self-pleasure and masturbation. Experiment with sex toys. Be everything but don't burn out. It can be a lot. The podcast supports women, no matter where they're at in life.
Ladies We Need to Talk brings you stories from women experiencing pelvic pain as well experts in treatment in the field. We cover conditions such as endometriosis, adenomyosis, IBS, period pain, persistent pelvic pain and urinary tract infections.
The symptoms experienced by women during perimenopause, the 10–15-year period before menopause are often underplayed or misdiagnosed by doctors, leaving women feeling confused and unheard. The podcast looks at some of the common symptoms connected with perimenopause, including disturbed sleep, night sweats, hot flushes, dry vagina, mood changes, brain fog and depression.
You'll hear advice about how to cope with metal health issues. Women share their tips on sobriety and exploring being sober curious when alcohol starts to have an unhealthy impact.
You'll also hear from psychologists and case studies on how to cope with anxiety. Get practical advice on what to do when life feels overwhelming and worry takes over.
Coercive control, a pattern of manipulative and intimidating behaviours within a relationship is also discussed on the podcast.
Different ways of having romantic and sexual relationships are talked about openly. You'll meet swingers who go to sex parties and polyamorous couples negotiating bringing up children as well as monogamous couples dealing with sharing the mental load.
As caregivers, women often bear the brunt of caring responsibility within the home and the wider family. You'll hear women from the "sandwich generation" who are raising their kids while looking after aging parents.
Episodes
The 'joy thief' — Penny Moodie on living with OCD
Penny Moodie’s childhood was marked by catastrophic thoughts: that her parents would die in an accident, that she had contracted HIV, that she was pregnant, even though she’d never had sex. These all-consuming anxieties wouldn't leave Penny, they occupied a huge part of her life, and she developed compulsions around them which she believed would keep her and the people she loved safe.
23/12/24•
Hey Yumi! I'm sick of doing all the work at Christmas
Ahh Christmas, the festival of eating, drinking and cranky mums. Because in order to have the beautifully set table, thoughtful presents and delicious glazed ham, someone's got to prepare and plan it all. And that someone, is usually a woman, who, by 5pm, has had enough.Is there a Christmas elf who can help out? Or maybe it's time for blokes to step up and take on their fair share of the mental load.Yumi Stynes and Monty Dimond share their tips on how to redistribute the labour on and before the 'most wonderful time of the year'.
16/12/24•1m 36s
BONUS – Inside the world of a dominatrix
Note: This episode contains explicit content.What is it like to be a professional dominatrix? To indulge in the power play between dominant and submissive for a living?In this special bonus episode, Yumi Stynes goes into a domme's dungeon to find out what really goes on beyond the whips and chains. She discovers a world that's full of power, sexual fantasy, pleasure and pain.
11/12/24•14m 0s
Oh my kink! Pulling back the covers on BDSM
Note: This episode contains explicit content.Kink, or BDSM is often played out behind closed doors. Because it's hidden from view, there's an assumption that it's just a few people at the fringes who are into kink, while the majority of us have vanilla sex. But what if interest in kink was more common than you think?Yumi Stynes meets three women embracing their kinky side. From findom (financial domination) to humiliation and cuckolding, their tastes go well beyond missionary.
09/12/24•28m 0s
Ladies, we are winners!
We've got big news to share with all our Ladies crew! It involves something smooth and shiny, that has us all very excited. And no, it doesn't vibrate. We also wanted to take a chance to welcome all our new listeners, and help guide you on starting your Ladies We Need To Talk listening experience!Here are some classic episodes to start you on your journey:Horny womenPongy vaginasTime to name (and shame) the mental loadBeing cheated onOr you can always start from scratch and go back to Season 1... we promise you will love it all!
05/12/24•
Esther Perel will change how you think about intimacy
Psychotherapist Esther Perel is one of the most influential thinkers on sex and relationships in the world.She helps us make sense of how we relate to the people around us and what it means to be intimate. Is intimacy just in the bedroom? Or can we have intimacy with our closest friends? How about with the guy at the coffee shop?And when we do disrobe and have sex with someone, how can we get what we desire out of the experience, whether it's a one-time thing or for the hundredth time.Esther entered the zeitgeist with her book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, which gave us language for the opposing promises of marriage — romantic passion and long-term security.She's since drawn millions of listeners to her podcast, Where Should We Begin, where she publishes live couples therapy sessions. (R)
02/12/24•43m 0s
Hey Yumi! I'm too tired for sex
It's no surprise your sex life takes a hit as a parent. You're thinly spread. There are so many things to manage in your head, from cutting up cucumbers to potty training and paying the plumber on time. Getting it on with a partner, or even by yourself drops down the priority list, below napping.Masturbation can seem like a laughable indulgence. Because when, oh when, does a sleep deprived mum with a job, a partner and a kid get time, and a dimly lit room to bring herself to O-town?Yumi Stynes and self-pleasure coach Chloe Adriana talk about how to bring mazzing back on the menu when you’ve lost your appetite.
25/11/24•14m 0s
Is egg freezing all it's cracked up to be?
Egg freezing is sold as a way for women to hack their fertility and buy some more time on the biological clock.Fertility companies are marketing the procedure as an insurance policy, but some experts argue it's better thought of as a lottery.Rates of egg freezing have almost doubled in recent years but the number of people coming back to use those eggs are staggeringly low and even then, there's no guarantee of a baby. Then there's the cost, between $5000-$10,000 per cycle.Alongside egg freezing, the AMH test, or egg timer test, is also being promoted as a way for women to take control of their fertility but the only way to know if you're fertile is to try and get pregnant.This episode sorts the science from the sell around egg freezing and fertility tests.Featured in this episode:Dr Tessa Copp, University of Sydney School of Public Health.
18/11/24•32m 40s
The myth of 'making it' — Samhita Mukhopadhyay
Samhita had it all. As the executive editor of Teen Vogue she was living the Devil Wears Prada life — fashion shows, fancy dinners and towering heels.She was a girlboss. But at the height of her success, cracks began to appear. She was anxious, burnt out and her body was falling apart.But Samhita was at New York Fashion Week in a fur coat and clutching a Gucci handbag, having just put Malala Yousafzai on the cover of her magazine, who was she to complain?After spending a lifetime trying to climb the corporate ladder, she started to wonder whether it was possible, as a woman, to have it all. And if so, was it worth the cost?Samhita sits down with Yumi Stynes to talk about redefining success and happiness.
11/11/24•26m 0s
Hey Yumi! Is sleeping apart the key to staying together?
There's an expectation that couples share a bed, but what if sleep isn't compatible with being in the same room as your other half? Maybe they snore, maybe they starfish, or maybe you just need a few hours without another human touching you.Is a sleep divorce, AKA, having separate bedrooms, the answer?There's a trend towards normalising sleeping separately from your partner. Cameron Diaz is doing it. So are the Beckhams. But does this arrangement spell the end of sex and intimacy? Or does it make for a better night's sleep and a better waking relationship?
04/11/24•17m 0s
We want to hear your perimenopause stories!
Ladies is making a special series about WTF happens when we go through perimenopause and how to make it to the other side intact. There’s a ton of information out there about this phase, some of it confusing, a lot of it nonsense. Never fear, we’re here to help you sort fact from fanny fart!We want to hear your stories of change, from what’s going on with your bodies and brains, to sex and relationships. Has your libido hidden in a cupboard? Is the sound of your children fighting enough to send you over the edge? Does it feel like your brain has turned to sludge and your waistline is breaking new barriers? Whatever it is, we want to know! Send a voice note or an email to ladies@abc.net.au
30/10/24•1m 0s
The Ozempic era
Is Ozempic the drug of our lifetime? Since it burst onto the scene it's become synonymous with weight loss, with everyone from A-list celebrities to your next-door neighbour rapidly slimming down.The popularity of the drug and others like it such as Mounjaro and Wegovy, has led to demand outstripping supply, with the price of these medications falling out of reach for some. And along with the cheekbones Ozempic face has unearthed, it's also forcing us to have some uncomfortable conversations around fatness, fatphobia and what it means to be 'healthy'.For some Australian women, it's changed their lives. Others are still grappling with how the world treats their new body.In this episode of Ladies, We Need to Talk, Yumi Stynes finds out what the Ozempic era means for all bodies.
28/10/24•31m 0s
Abbie Chatfield is not going away
There aren't many people on your Instagram feed who are as loved and as loathed as Abbie Chatfield.Ever since Abbie shot to fame as the slut-shamed villain on The Bachelor Australia in 2019, she's been a public and controversial figure who's hard to look away from.Five years and almost 500K followers later, Abbie's built an empire on sharing her trauma dumps, UTIs, political rants and sexcapades.Abbie's openness has earnt her lots of fans but it's also made her the target of sexist and violent online threats.So how does this former real-estate girly from Brissy manage living a life in the spotlight while staying sane in the real world?
21/10/24•26m 30s
Hey Yumi! My partner's too attached to his mum
What if your man has another, equally important woman in his life: his mum?For some sons, the aprons strings are tied so tight, it’s impossible to compete with mummy. She’s his number one fan, dotes on him and interferes in his life, including his relationships. It’s not sexy.So, can a mama’s boy ever reform and stand on their own two feet in a relationship? Or will you always come off second best?Yumi Stynes and Jess McGuire lay down the law when it comes to being with a mama’s boy. Hint: they must be able to do their own washing.
14/10/24•16m 0s
Why are we so afraid of looking old?
As we get older, wiser, more resilient, and better placed to back seat drive, the world does not reward us. Or our grey hair.If the advances of human progress can make a potato chip taste like a beef rendang curry, why are women still, after all this time and progress, so judged by the way we look?The Australasian College of Cosmetic Surgery estimates Australians spend around $1 billion a year on cosmetic procedures. We're talking facelifts, tummy tucks, brow lifts, neck lifts, rhinoplasties, breast implants. And the training bras of plastic surgery, Botox and fillers.So if we're spending so much money on looking young, are we complicit in society's obsession with youth?Women, young and old, tell us their stories of what drew them under the knife (or needle) while dermatologist Dr Ritu Gupta, marketing expert Karen Ferry, make-up artist Linda Jefferyes and beauty editor Cecily-Anna Bennett help to make sense of how we got here.This episode is one of the best from the grand cathedrals of the Ladies, We Need to Talk archives.Note: Karen Ferry is now an Advertising Executive Creative Director, no longer at Leo Burnett.
07/10/24•32m 0s
I'm fat, don't hate me—Aubrey Gordon
Aubrey Gordon is a fat woman. She's not on a diet or trying to get thinner and that pisses some people off, but she's done apologising.This self-acceptance has been hard fought. All her life, Aubrey has had to swallow comments about her size from strangers and family alike. Like all of us, she was force-fed the idea that there is only one ideal body: a thin one.Aubrey's resistance started with her blog, Your Fat Friend, where she wrote about what it's like to live in the world as a fat person and dared to suggest that fat people deserve the same rights as everyone else. The blog touched a nerve, giving a voice to people who had been silenced and launched Aubrey’s public career.Aubrey is the co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, which calls bullshit on the so-called wellness industry. Oh, and she has a laugh that fills up the room.Yumi and Aubrey talk about anti-fat bias, online hate and the myth of the perfect body.
30/09/24•27m 0s
Hey Yumi! Help, he's bad in bed!
You're on a date and there's a spark, the chat is great, the vibes are flowing. But come the time to disrobe, all that potential sexual brilliance comes crashing down. They're a dud root. So what on earth do you do if you've got a connection with someone, but they're not rocking your socks off? How do you have a conversation about what you like, without hurting their feelings? And can you ever turn a jackhammer into a magical orgasm wand? Yumi Stynes and sex therapist Aleks Trkulja get under the sheets and figure out how to communicate your way to the pleasure palace.
23/09/24•16m 0s
The Other Woman
The Other Woman. The bit on the side. Side hoe. She's the biggest villain of them all. She's probably younger, hotter and she's left the girl-code far behind, because THAT woman is stealing your man, girl. So, who is 'the other woman' and what's driving her towards married men anyway? In this episode, Yumi sits down with women dating men who are teken and finds out how they navigate their own messy relationships and emotions.
16/09/24•28m 0s
Alcohol is not your friend with Jill Stark
Jill Stark spent most of her life defined by alcohol. Either as a hard-drinking party girl, spurred on by a culture of drinking as a journalist, or as the poster child for sobriety, trapped by a public identity that revolved around abstinence. Yumi and Jill talk about her journey to genuine sobriety on her own terms, and how she has learned who she is without booze. Resources:National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline1800 250 015 Alcoholics Anonymous: https://aa.org.au/1300 222 222 Hello Sunday Morning https://hellosundaymorning.org/Lifeline13 11 14
09/09/24•30m 0s
Labiaplasty—the rise of the designer vagina
We’re all about labia love here at Ladies, but it seems that some women are less than enthusiastic about their lower lips. So what’s the real deal on the labiaplasty? Will cosmetic surgery really help restore the labia love to those who just aren’t feeling it? Yumi is here to unpack the problems with our flaps and give us the low-down on the down-there surgery.
02/09/24•27m 42s
Hey Yumi! Should I start a family?
Tick, tock, tick, tock... can you hear that? It’s your biological clock and it’s about to blow! For some, deciding whether to have a baby isn’t just about fertility, it’s also about weighing up whether becoming a parent is the path best taken. Never fear, Yumi Stynes has perched herself behind the mic to hold your hand and navigate this tricky time-bomb.
26/08/24•15m 10s
Jamila Rizvi—when life doesn’t go to plan
At 31, Jamila Rizvi’s life changed forever. The discovery of a rare brain tumour knocked the ass-kicking, over-achieving media advisor and young mum sideways. Jamila had two rounds of brain surgery, followed by radiation, and now lives with chronic health conditions. She’s had to re-map what life looks like and let go of the idea that she can control what lies ahead. Despite the challenges, Jamila’s found strength in herself and by leaning on those closest to her. In this episode, Jamila and Yumi dig into the wisdom that comes from being dealt one of life’s curve balls.
19/08/24•24m 15s
Hey Yumi! I feel ugly and it’s holding me back
We all have days when we look in the mirror and think “who is that hideous moll staring back at me??” But what if those days are constant and you feel like a loser in the attractiveness lottery? Let’s face it, being hot is a social currency and the pressure to look a certain way as a woman is constant. So how can we let go of the ideal beauty standard (whatever that is on a given day) and learn to love the image looking back at us? Yumi Stynes is here with her gal pals Myf Warhurst and Zan Rowe to cut through the bull crap and help you embody your smoking self.
12/08/24•15m 18s
The hot truth about perimenopause and mental health
Perimenopause can be bad for your health. It’s not just the physical symptoms like weight gain, insomnia, exhaustion and loss of sex drive that can knock women sideways, the mental health impacts can be immense as well. Hormone fluctuations during this period can lead to mood swings, anxiety, brain fog and depression. To make matters worse, these symptoms are often misdiagnosed and mistreated. Help is at hand though! Yumi Stynes becomes an honourary member of the club and gets the 411 on all things perimenopause and mental health. Featured in this episode: Professor Jayashri Kulkarni, director of Monash University’s Health Education Research Centre Lifeline: 13 11 14 Menopause Friendly AustraliaHER Centre Australia
05/08/24•33m 32s
Hey Yumi! I haven’t had sex for a really long time
Have you ever had a sexual dry spell? And when we say dry, we mean years and years. Getting naked and doing the bedroom rodeo with another person can be daunting at the best of times, but especially if it’s been such a long time you’re worried you may have forgotten how to ride the horse. Anxieties begin to take over...Will everything work like it used to? What if they don’t like my body? And what if the dog walks in? So, how can you break the dry spell and get back in the saddle? Yumi Stynes and Jess McGuire strip bare and give no-holds-barred advice on how to reclaim your sexual power after a long absence.
29/07/24•14m 22s
Breaking the silence around miscarriage
In life, there are a lot of random rules women stick to. One of them is not telling loved ones about a pregnancy until after the first trimester. But why???The answer is more often than not, miscarriage.
22/07/24•26m 26s
Hey Yumi! I’m in love but losing myself
Being in love feels so damn good, right? But what if you fall so deeply into your relationship, you start to forget who you are?
15/07/24•12m 4s
The case against hookup sex with Hannah Ferguson
Swipe left, swipe right, match, meet, hook up, repeat. We all know the dating dance, but is it really serving us as women?Enter Hannah Ferguson, the 25-year-old media queen who isn’t afraid to tell us how it is. When Hannah was in her late teens and dating for the first time, Tinder ruled the scene and sex was available at the swipe of a finger. But a string of sub-par experiences left her wondering if hookup culture is selling women a lie. Have we come to expect scraps because that's all that's on offer? And how can we push back and have the sex and relationships we deserve? Featured in this episode: Hannah Ferguson, CEO of Cheek Media Co. and author of Bite BackLifeline: 13 11 14 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732
08/07/24•23m 7s
Hey Yumi! I'm tired of doing it all
Women bear the load of most of the invisible (thankless) work in a household. And that shit gets heavy. School lunches, laundry, dentist appointments, shopping, snot-wiping, cleaning, care-giving – and don’t forget to get those 10k steps in while you’re at it! We're exhausted just thinking about it. Yumi dishes out advice on how to even out the mental load and take the weight off your shoulders. If you’ve got a snag in your life that you just can’t figure out, let us take on the burden! Send an audio note to ladies@abc.net.au
01/07/24•8m 1s
Horny women
What if your appetite for sex was insatiable? Would you love to be boning every day, multiple times a day? There's this idea that it's men that are always lusting after sex. But guess what? Women can be horn dogs too! But that horniness often comes with the label "slutty". Yumi Stynes chats to women who are relishing their pleasure and enjoying plenty of orgasms while they’re at it.
24/06/24•30m 0s
Hey Yumi! My mum-guilt is crushing me
When you’re stuck in the daily grind of working-mum life, sometimes it can be hard not to feel like a shitty mum. School lunches, getting them dressed (FFS), raising good humans, endless meetings – it's exhausting and soul-destroying. Yumi has some advice to ease the mum-guilt, when your heart is being yanked in opposite directions and backing away from work isn’t an option. If you’ve got a problem that not even your girl gang can help you solve, let us take on the burden! Send an audio note to ladies@abc.net.au
17/06/24•9m 3s
Beating burnout
Yumi has been cheeky and stolen the keys to the ABC archive to bring out one of our favourite episodes. Life is tiring. The cozzi livs, the constant merry-go-round of caring and work and chronic stress can be overwhelming. For some, this relentless pace can lead to burnout.
10/06/24•26m 12s
Have you ever been the "other woman"? Email us!
The "other woman" has been demonised in pop culture, but is it time we learnt to understand her choices rather than judge her for them?
06/06/24•
Hey Yumi! My prolapse is a problem
If you’ve carried a baby, you may have had to deal with the fall out (literally) of pelvic prolapse. But having your organs pop out of your vagina isn’t limited to mammas, getting older is also a big factor.
03/06/24•8m 15s
Rosie Waterland's mum died. She’s kind of relieved
Rosie Waterland’s mum was, to put it mildly, chaos personified. Charming and caring one minute, abusive and cruel the next. This year, she died. A moment Rosie was strangely prepared for. But her mum’s death left her to contend with the conflicting emotions of grief and relief. Yumi Stynes sat down with Rosie for a heart to heart about growing up with an abusive parent, grieving and coming out of the other side of childhood trauma. Featured in this episode: Rosie Waterland, author and podcaster Lifeline: 13 11 14 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732
27/05/24•23m 27s
Hey Yumi! How do I introduce a kink?
Would you like to flip the script and peg your partner? Yumi spreads the word on pegging your boo, how to introduce anal play into your sex life and the ins and outs of doing it (or not) so everyone feels good. If you’ve got a problem that’s doing your head in, never fear because your hottest, coolest agony aunt is primed and ready to help you out! Send us an audio note to ladies@abc.net.au
20/05/24•7m 3s
PCOS: Infertility, beards and BS
Weight gain, bristly hairs, no period. Welcome to Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility worldwide and it can cause debilitating physical and psychological symptoms. 1 in 8 women have PCOS, so that’s at least a couple of friends in your group chat. So why do we still know so little about it? Yumi Stynes catches up with ladies who’ve been battling PCOS for years and finds out how they get on top of it. Featured in this episode: Professor Helena Teede, female endocrine specialist from Monash University
13/05/24•32m 0s
Hey Yumi! My partner's gone full slob
Do you have to pry your partner off the couch with a fork-lift? Are they living in skanky trackies 24/7? Yumi spills the tea on what to do if your other half has gone full slob. Got a life problem you just can’t solve? Help is at hand! We’re handing the mic over to you, our lush listeners and taking the burden of problem solving off your shoulders... because Ladies, We Need To Talk... Back! Send us your questions as a voice note to ladies@abc.net.au - we can’t wait to hear from you!
06/05/24•7m 7s
Adult Virgins
We live in a sex obsessed world, where hook-up culture is king and getting laid out like a spatchcocked chicken is a status symbol. But what if you’re a fully-fledged adult, paying your own bills and you’re still a “virgin”? Some women might hold off having sex for the first time because they want to meet the “right” person, others because they haven’t had the opportunity or are waiting until marriage. Whatever the reason, it can feel lonely and isolating when there so much noise around sex. Yumi Stynes talks to women who haven’t yet had sex, either by choice or circumstance and to another who waited to have sex for over 40 years, until she met her perfect person. We love hearing from you! Send us an email or a voice note to ladies@abc.net.auFeatured in this episode:Amanda McCracken, writer on love and limerence
29/04/24•31m 18s
INTRODUCING - our most intimate season ever
Are you a card-carrying virgin? Know what it's like to be the other woman? Horny as hell and can’t get enough? Ladies, We Need To Talk is back and we’re going deep! This season we’ll be meeting the truly gorgeous women who are eager to have sex for the very first time, but for whatever reason haven’t met the perfect person yet. You’ll find out about the mysteries of PCOS and why it’s one of the leading causes of infertility. And we’ll hear from the women who are horny with a capital H, and we can’t get enough of it! Also, for the first time ever we’re going weekly baby! With our new, spicy and short episodes of Ladies, We Need To Talk...Back! Your favourite hot Aunty Yumi will be dishing out her no-holds-barred advice on everything from slovenly partners and squishy vaginas and serious mum guilt. The Ladies, We Need To Talk team love getting your messages so please get in touch at ladies@abc.net.auFollow Ladies, We Need To Talk hosted by Yumi Stynes on the ABC Listen App and your fave podcast apps now so you never miss an episode, oh, and tell don’t forget to tell ALL your girls about us.
22/04/24•2m 28s
Pongy vagina
Uh oh, what’s that you smell... a funky odour down below? The thought of having a stinky crotch is nightmare fuel for some women, but do we even need to worry about our musky bouquet? The delicate aroma of our lady-garden can be affected by things like our menstrual cycle and our lifestyle but how do we tell when the stank goes from normal to full on malodorous pudenda territory and what can be done about it? It’s time to take off those undies and confront the smelly minge in the room with your bestie Yumi by your side for support. Featured in this episode: Deborah Bateson, Professor of Practice and an expert in sexual health at the University of Sydney Sarah O'Neill, comedian
27/11/23•27m 48s
Staying for the money
What happens when you want a divorce but the cost of leaving your marriage would cripple you financially? Would you ever stay in an unhappy marriage for the security money offers? It’s no secret, life is bloody expensive right now. From soaring rents to the cost of a bunch of broccoli, times are tough! So, sticking it out in a relationship you’re no longer happy in can seem appealing. Yumi Stynes talks to women who’ve had to make that extremely difficult choice. Featured in this episode: Victoria Devine, host of She’s on the Money Emily Maguire, CEO of Respect Victoria Rachel Voysey, Founding Director of the Relationship Room Some names have been changed to protect identities Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732
13/11/23•26m 30s
Clementine Ford on the case against marriage
What if we put a stop to marriage...for good? Like, just stop with flouncy white dresses, walking down the aisle and having a dude give us away. In her new book, I Don’t, Clementine Ford is calling for just that. She reckons that a ring on a finger is a bridal march to losing your identity. From the moment we come screaming into the world, we’re pushed the line that to find “the one” to get married and settle down is the be all and end all. You might discover a cure for cancer, scale Mt Everest and be a total baddie but if you’re unwed you haven't quite made it in the eyes of society. Clem Ford talks to Yumi Stynes about her call to arms for us to ditch the bouquets and our man's dirty laundry for a life on our own terms. Featured in this episode: Clementine Ford, author and feminist
30/10/23•26m 4s
BEST OF - Pelvic flaw in all of us
Do you wizz when you sneeze? Or avoid star jumps at the gym? One in four of us (!) have pelvic floor problems which can lead to incontinence and prolapse (eek). But don’t stress! Yumi Stynes has kegel’d her way back to the Ladies archives and dug up some reassurance that you can definitely turn things around. Just be prepared to clench.
16/10/23•29m 18s
Falling for a narcissist
You think you’ve met “the one” and they seem totally perfect for you, but is it all too good to be true? Could you be dating a narcissist? What starts out as a dreamy relationship filled with fancy presents and compliments galore, suddenly turns sour and you’re left wondering if you’re slowly losing your mind. Narcissists make up only 1% of the population but the impact they have on the women who date them can be truly devastating. Yumi Stynes meets women who have fallen in love with a narcissist and uncovers the psychology behind their charm. Featured in this episode: Tamara Cavenett, clinical psychologist Some names have been changed to protect identities Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732
02/10/23•29m 28s
Sober sex
Having sex can be exposing, nerve wracking. When we strip down, we reveal ourselves – and not just our bits. No wonder we sometimes reach for courage in a bottle. For some women, a few shots can make them feel comfortable enough to go home with that hottie from across the bar, for others the relationship between alcohol and sex can be more toxic. Yumi Stynes chats to women who are putting the lid back on the bottle and embarking on sex...stone cold sober. Featured in this episode: Tawny Lara, author of Dry Humping Faye Lawrence, grey area drinking coach
18/09/23•29m 26s
BEST OF - Love letter to our friends
Yumi has been on an adventure down to the depths of the ABC archives to uncover an absolute banger of an episode. On every form you ever fill out, there’s always a tick box about your romantic status — de facto, married, single. Why are we only judged on romantic relationships rather than some of the most important bonds in our life — our friendships? In this love letter to our friends, Yumi Stynes invites herself into the joyful friendship between Jamila Rizvi and Clare Bowditch and celebrates the deep platonic love we can only get from our besties.
04/09/23•31m 13s
Solo mums by choice
Is the soundtrack to your life a ticking baby-making clock? What if you’re desperate to be a mother but the other half of the baby-making equation just hasn’t become available? Yumi Stynes meets women who have given the middle finger to the idea of the nuclear family and become solo mums by choice. From swiping for sperm; turkey-basting and solo sleep deprivation – find out what it’s really like to choose to parent on your own. Featured in this episode: Alexandra Collier – Author of Inconceivable Dr Karin Hammarberg - Senior Research Fellow, Monash University
21/08/23•32m 20s
Emily Nagoski on sex in long term relationships
If you’re having trouble getting hot for your long-term partner? You’re not alone. Domestic bliss, smelling our partner’s farts, demanding kids – it feels like it’s all part of a worldwide conspiracy to shrivel our sex drive. So come hang with Yumi Stynes and sex nerd Emily Nagoski to get some practical advice on how to brush off the cobwebs, bring back our lady-boners and actually want to have sex with our life mate again. Featured in this episode: Emily Nagoski PhD – Sex researcher and author of books, Come As You Are; Burnout and Come Together
07/08/23•30m 28s
BEST OF - To pube or not to pube
Yumi Stynes has pinched the keys to the ABC podcast dungeon and has pulled out her absolute fave episodes for you. Are you team Dolphin or team Pubus Maximus? Pubic hair — it's one of the most scrutinised patches of hair on our bodies. Research says 80 per cent of women groom their Map of Tassie regularly. But why do we feel the need to pluck, shave, scrape, or zap our pubes at all? Yumi Stynes find out the meaning behind our pubey grooming choices. Featured in this episode: Mona Chalabi - Data journalist Maeve Marsden - Podcaster Christina Zheng – Comedian
24/07/23•30m 33s
Sex in a fat bod
Getting naked in front of someone you’re about to get down and dirty with is a really vulnerable thing to do for even the most confident among us. But what about when you’ve spent your whole life being told your body isn’t desirable or sexy? And those messages are hitting you from everywhere. From television, movies, strangers on the street and even from the very people who are supposed to be into you. That’s the reality for a lot of women living in fat bodies out there, so how do you say a big F*** you to that narrative and start having great sex? Two hot, fat babes, Bec Shaw and April Hélène-Horton got together with Yumi Stynes for a no-holds barred DNM to chat about all things sex. Featured in this episode: Bec Shaw – writer and podcaster April Hélène-Horton aka The Bodzilla – advocate and activist
10/07/23•25m 10s
Female rage – why are we so damn angry?
Do you scream foul obscenities at bad drivers? Chuck your phone violently on the bed when seething? Heard “that time of the month?” when you’re furious? Babes, you’re not alone. Women are foaming at the mouth with fury and we’re screaming at the top of our lungs. From the mental load to workplace bullying; sexism and just the patriarchy in general plus - HORMONES - there’s a hell of a lot to be ticked off about. Grab your safety gear and come smash some stuff with Yumi Stynes as she releases her fury with a baseball bat. Who knew destruction could be so cathartic? Featured in this episode: Dr Chelsea Watego – Professor of Indigenous Health at QUT’s School of Public Health and Social Work. Dr Jayashri Kulkarni - Professor in Women's Mental Health. Psychiatrist and Director of Monash University’s Health Education Research Centre. Dr Liz Summerell – Postdoctoral researcher at the University of New South Wales School of Psychology studying anger, aggression, and humility.
26/06/23•25m 27s
Esther Perel on Intimacy
So you hugged a workmate having a rough time – is that intimacy? Locked eyes and shared a giggle with a stranger in a spin class – does that count as intimacy? You just had some hook up sex – was it intimate? Here at Ladies HQ, we want to know: What even is intimacy? And when we think we're craving sex is what we are actually wanting, intimacy? (Lucky) Yumi Stynes gets up close and personal with Esther Perel (IRL!) about the importance of intimacy how we can all enjoy a bit more connection with others. Featured in this episode: World renowned relationship psychotherapist; host of Where Should We Begin and How’s Work podcasts and creator of Where Should We Begin the Game, Esther Perel.
12/06/23•42m 6s
Choking during sex – can it ever be safe?
You're horny. You're hooking up. It's hot and heavy. Then, a hand makes its way to your throat… wait WTF? Yup. Choking during sex has hit the mainstream.Choking was once the kinda thing you'd only come across in the world of BDSM, but now thanks to our easy access to porn it's literally everywhere and young women are in its grip.A recent study discovered almost 60 per cent of female college students have been choked during sex, with a quarter having been choked by the time they're 17.Yumi Stynes finds out why some women love to be choked during sex and talks to others who aren't so enamoured with it.Some names have been changed to protect identities.Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732Featured in this episode: Dr Debby Herbenick - Professor at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, sexuality researcher, educator and author of Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today's Teens and SexAleks Trkulja – Sex therapist at The Pleasure Centre
29/05/23•30m 12s
Heartbreak — why does it feel so bloody awful?
Are you guilty of compulsively stalking your ex on socials whilst ugly crying and eating ice cream out of the carton? Join the club baby. The soul-shattering, unbridled agony of a devastating break-up, is something we tend to avoid really letting ourselves feel. The most we might get from our mates is "get back on the apps babe, there are plenty more fish in the sea".Even though it’s a universal experience, heartbreak sits in the domain of teenage girls writing in their diaries rather than being taken seriously as a mental and physical ailment. Yumi Stynes talks to heartbroken women about how they’re stitching their hearts back into their chests after being tortuously ripped out. Get in touch with your stories of heartbreak and how you made it through: ladies@abc.net.au Featured in this episode: Jessie Stephens, podcaster and author of Heartsick.Alice Haddon, counselling psychologist and founder of The Heartbreak Hotel
15/05/23•28m 7s
INTRODUCING — our most brutally honest season yet
Had your heart pulverised? Been choked during sex? Is your partner a narcissist? Ladies is back and we’re going there.
08/05/23•2m 22s
Our Fear of farting
Even though we all crack a turd whistle once in a while, it doesn't mean we're not ashamed of the noises and smells that erupt from our bums, especially if it happens in public. And according to research, women hold that shame more deeply and are judged more harshly for their eruptions than men. Yumi Stynes sniffs out how we can disperse the cloud of shame around women and farting. Featured in this episode: Professor Clare Collins, Laureate Professor in Nutrition and Dietetics at the University of Newcastle .Dr Kirsten Bell, Professor of Social Anthropology, University of Roehampton Additional production: Kelly Ung & Yimeng Hu
07/11/22•28m 42s
Clean eating
Search #cleaneating on social media, and you'll come across over 50 million posts. Vegan, paleo, raw, protein shakes, juice cleanses, gluten-free, dairy-free, chia seeds… all of these things, social media and diet culture will tell us, are the types of foods we should be putting into our bodies. These diets offer the promise of perfect health and the perfect body…But for some they tip over into unhealthy obsession. Yumi Stynes discovers what happens when food choices stop being about "yuk" and "yum" and become a battle between good and evil. When clean eating tips over the wafer-thin line into Orthorexia Nervosa. Featured in this episode: Dr Gemma Sharp, Clinical Psychologist and Head of Body Image research at Monash University
24/10/22•32m 0s
Update — Discharge, the gooey taboo
Lots of women are super self-conscious about the sticky stuff in our undies. The way it looks and the way it smells. So much so that up to a third of us wear a panty liner each day. But how much do you actually know about discharge? What should it smell like? What should it look like? And should we just stop dissing our discharge?
10/10/22•23m 42s
Facing your own death
The prospect of dying is an abstract thing, something we try hard not to think about at all costs.But what if the one dying…is you? Join Yumi Stynes as she meets women who are facing their own death head-on and learns how to hard those hard conversations about the end of your life.Featured in this episode:Dr Kerrie Noonan, Clinical Psychologist and founder of the Death Literacy Institute.
26/09/22•23m 37s
Generation gap - Can couples with a large age difference last?
Cradle snatcher, sugar-daddy, toy-boy, cougar… all of those terms are loaded with baggage and undermine the relationships they describe. Beyond the stereotypes, what's it like to be in a relationship with a big age gap?Yumi Stynes meets women who are defying the research and dating way out of their age range… and loving it, even if their friends and family aren't so enamoured.Featured in this episode:Dr Grace Lordan, Associate Professor at the London School of Economics and Political Science
12/09/22•29m 15s
Burnout
Burnout: It's a word so frequently used that it's almost become a catchphrase. And let's face it, who isn't feeling exhausted? But when does that fatigue and overwhelm tip into burnout?
29/08/22•25m 57s
Being cheated on
Rooting around is as inescapable as laundry and taxes. While humans all around the world make promises to be with each other through sickness and health, to be loyal to the exclusion of all others, it doesn't always work out that way.Join Yumi Stynes as she discovers what it's like to have your partner do the dirty and how to decide whether to stay or go after being screwed over.Featured in this episode: Christina Spaccavento, Sex and relationships counsellor.
15/08/22•24m 9s
INTRODUCING — New episodes of Ladies, We Need To Talk
Fresh from a season on sex, Yumi Stynes is leaping out of the sack, changing the sheets and delving deep into the stuff that keeps us up at night. We're making a big stink about our fear of farting; learning how to nip burnout in the bud and unearthing the dirty truth about "clean eating".
08/08/22•2m 15s
What we need men to know about sex
YOU TOLD US AND NOW WE'RE TELLING THE MENFOLK. What we need men to know about sex — from jack-hammering to hygiene to female anatomy 101, nothing's off-limits. If there ever was an episode to share with the blokes in your life, this is it. Featured in this episode: Aleks Trkulja, sex therapist and Nikki Britton, comedian.
01/08/22•29m 1s
When bad sex is your life — update
We've all got a bad sex story. The partner who's selfish in the sack. The horribly uninspiring one-night stand. The lover with 'performance anxiety'. Most of us have been there. There's this idea though that we grow out of it — that sex gets better as we get older. But what if that doesn't happen? What if bad sex is your life?Featured in this episode:Lisa Torney, sex and relationship therapist
18/07/22•33m 37s
Bonus — Your sex and disability stories
Our sex and disability episode really resonated with you. Hear what our listeners had to say about sex and disability. We love your feedback ladies@abc.net.au.With thanks to Zoe, Lauren, Rose and Rebecca.
11/07/22•6m 56s
Sex and the D Word – Disability
Around one in five Australian women live with a disability. And guess what? They're having sex. Hot, creative sex. But steamy conversations about what it's like to love and lust with a disability are often considered too "out there" to talk about. Join Robyn Lambird, Madeleine Stewart, Akii Ngo and Yumi Stynes for a raunchy chat about Sex and the D-word — from insane orgasms to stumping, 'moot pain' to Paralympic thirst.
04/07/22•28m 44s
Anal sex — update
Warning: Explicit Content. Is anal the last taboo? One in five women in Australia has had anal sex. It's everywhere in porn and many of us, especially young women, are feeling the pressure to do it. It's uncomfortable discussing anal sex, but ladies, we need to talk about it.
20/06/22•29m 12s
Next level sex
Imagine you've been having ho-hum, pedestrian sex your entire life and BAM! A new trick, a new partner, a revelation about yourself or a total life change and suddenly you've crossed into a new sexual dimension. Colours are brighter, the birds are singing and the sex is mind-blowing, Meet the women who have levelled-up and find out how they got to the promised-land. The land of Best. Sex. Ever.
06/06/22•26m 8s
Asexuality — I don't want to have sex, ever
In a world obsessed with sex, what if you never (or rarely) want it? Yumi Stynes meets women from across the asexuality spectrum to find out how they navigate dating and relationships in a sexed-up world.Featured in the episode: Angela Chen, author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of SexResources: https://www.australianasexuals.com/
23/05/22•26m 8s
LiLL — Later in life lesbians
Imagine going down on a woman for the very first time in your 50s. Yumi Stynes meets later-in-life lesbians who, after years of hetero partnerships and raising kids, are coming out. Were they always attracted to women or can our sexuality shift?Featured in this episode: Dr Lisa Diamond Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies, University of Utah.Call: 1300 641 222 | Email: ladies@abc.net.au
09/05/22•28m 34s
Swinging
What's it like to watch your partner have sex with another person? What about a group of people? Welcome to the world of swingers, where couples "play" with each other and with the boundaries of sexual expression. Join Yumi Stynes at a sex club as she pulls back the orgy room curtain and meets women who swing to find out why they love 'The Lifestyle' and how it's transformed their relationships.With special thanks to Juliet Richters, Honorary Professor of the Sexual Health Program at the Kirby Institute. Thanks also to Jess Cattelly from Our Secret Spot.
25/04/22•26m 33s
INTRODUCING — Season SEX of Ladies, We Need To Talk
Welcome to season six of Ladies, We Need to Talk. This time around we're turning the steam up to 11, dropping our towels and baring all. Join Yumi Stynes as she learns the ins-and-outs of swinging; meets later-in-life lesbians; finds out what it's like to be asexual and talks to women who've gone from having ho-hum sex to mind-blowing romps. It's hot and hilarious and we're here for it. Call us on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au. Follow in your fave podcast app so you never miss an episode.
18/04/22•3m 0s
Sexual pleasure and how to get it
Sex is more available and permissible than ever before, but despite this, are we actually getting any pleasure? Lots of women still don’t feel entitled to sexual fulfillment and aren’t in touch with what feels good, let alone how to ask for it.
01/11/21•28m 14s
PRESENTS — Ladies We Need to Talk the book
We know you love the podcast and now there’s Ladies We Need to Talk the book!
25/10/21•2m 14s
Women who have never orgasmed
For some women, reaching climax, cumming, the Big O... is as easy as a walk around the block. For others, it’s an arduous, long, steep hike up a mountain, never quite reaching...the “peak”.
18/10/21•28m 51s
Body Image — Update
Thanks to the pandemic, we now spend even MORE time doom scrolling through obnoxiously perfect Insta-people, and endlessly staring at our own faces via zoom than ever and (surprise, surprise) it's had a negative impact on our self-esteem. Yumi Stynes catches up with body image and eating disorder expert, Dr Gemma Sharpe, about "zoom dysmorphia" and what can we do to feel better about ourselves, one video call at a time.
04/10/21•38m 26s
Digital dating despair
You're more likely to meet your partner on an app than any other way. But between the constant swiping, messaging, rejections, ghosting and d&*k pics, it can be rough. Yumi Stynes talks to a bunch of awesome single women about their approach to dating apps and how to stay sane, safe and maintain your self-esteem while swiping.
20/09/21•30m 3s
Sex detox
Forget juice cleanses, meditation and yoni eggs, is a sex detox the best way to reset our thinking around sex and relationships to find out what really presses our buttons? Yumi Stynes talks to women who have flipped the script on sex, who've hit the pause button and are feeling better for it. Featured in this episode: Catherine Gray — Author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Single.
06/09/21•23m 37s
Foreplay — update
Ladies, it's time for a refresher course on foreplay! Yumi Stynes talks to psychotherapist Esther Perel and a bunch of brilliant female experts about their best foreplay tips. We're here to talk about it. Ring us on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au.
23/08/21•29m 56s
Birth trauma
"Have a baby," they said. "It'll be great," they said. But what they didn't say, was that getting that kid out could leave you traumatised. Physically and mentally.One in three Australian women describe their birth as traumatic. Yumi Stynes hears how different women are still coming to terms with their birth experiences, sometimes years later, and finds out what can be done to prevent traumatic births.
09/08/21•33m 19s
A love letter to our friends
On every form you ever fill out, there’s always a tick box about your romantic status — de facto, married, single. Why are we only judged on romantic relationships rather than some of the most important bonds in our life — our friendships? Yumi Stynes writes a love letter to our friends and casually invites herself into the wonderful friendship of Jamila Rizvi and Clare Bowditch.
26/07/21•30m 14s
Mum won't come to our wedding
You can't help who you fall in love with. But what happens if your family disapproves? Every relationship has its challenges, but for lovers from a completely different cultural and ethnic background, Yumi Stynes finds out that race, religion and tradition can add multiple layers of complication.Featured in this episode: Dr Reenee Singh, Psychologist and Systemic Psychotherapist specialising in Intercultural couples.
12/07/21•27m 25s
Young widows
What happens if you're young and that #1 person, the special love that you searched for and pinned down, the one you expected to love till you were old — dies early? It's painfully lonely to be a young person grieving, but that loneliness can be compounded by the judgement of others on how to grieve.Yumi Stynes talks to Ellidy Pullin, and other young widows, about life after death.Support services:Grief.org.auLifeline.org.auBeyondblue.org.au
28/06/21•27m 52s
Last shot pregnancy
What happens if you want a baby but you're running out of time? Maybe you haven't found the right partner, or you've found the right one, but they don't want kids? You just can't seem to get pregnant or you're simply too busy having an awesome life and heaps of fun to have a baby. And then suddenly, your 'fertile window' starts to close.Yumi Stynes finds out what it's like to have one last shot at pregnancy.Featured in this episode: Dr Karin Hammarberg (VARTA), Senior research fellow, School of Public Health and Preventive Medicine, Monash University.Fertility resources: yourIVFsuccess.com.au; VARTA; yourfertility.org.au
14/06/21•34m 18s
Hair — Why do we care?
Have you noticed that most women have long hair, and most men have short hair? And how grey-haired men are silver foxes and women old and witchy?What's with these unspoken hair rules? And why the hell are we conforming? Yumi Stynes gets to the root of why women's hair is such a big deal and teases out why we're so tangled up in knots about our locks.Featured in this episode: Author Tara Moss; Kellie Scott @Hairlossboss; Shantel Wetherall, Host of Hey Aunty podcast.
31/05/21•26m 33s
The rage in my pelvis
Nearly one million Australian women live with persistent pain in their pelvis. Yumi Stynes finds out what the hell it is, what causes it and most importantly, how to get through the day with a raging pelvis. If you need help dealing with your pelvic pain, www.pelvicpain.org.au has loads of helpful advice. Featured in this episode: Dr Susan Evans, Gynaecologist and Pelvic Pain Physician; Gabrielle Jackson, Associate News Editor of Guardian Australia and author of Pain and Prejudice.
17/05/21•33m 0s
What the hell happens in old age?
Saggy boobs, cracked vaginas, being invisible, loneliness. Getting older can't all be this grim? CAN IT?!? Yumi Stynes finds out how to stay awesome, mentally and physically, as the years tick by and the mammaries get lower ... and it's not all bad news for our sex lives — HOORAY! With thanks to the amazing group of women at the Bowral Country Women's Association. Featured in this episode: Professor Cassandra Szoeke, Director of the Healthy Ageing Program at the University of Melbourne; Dr Katherine Campbell, Psychologist; Dr Wendy Vanselow, women's health GP and sex therapist; Faith Agugu, founder of Silver Sirens.
03/05/21•28m 32s
Fetish
What really turns you on? Getting your toes sucked? Latex? High-heeled shoes? Fetish is a word that can be overused without us really thinking about its meaning. Sexologist Dr Sarah Ashton helps us figure out what a fetish actually is, where fetishes come from and why it's A-OK to have one. We'll also find out what it's like to be the object of someone else's fetish.
19/04/21•25m 30s
Introducing — Season 5 of Ladies, We Need To Talk
Ladies! Listen up: we're back and we've missed you! Join Yumi Stynes as she dives right in to all the taboo lady-business that women find tricky to talk about. Whether it's your fetish, what the hell happens to us in old age or dealing with the rage in our pelvis — Ladies, we've got your back. We love your feedback so please leave us a voicemail on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au. Follow Ladies, We Need To Talk now so you never miss an episode, oh, and tell ALL your girlfriends.
12/04/21•3m 59s
The secret lives of vaginas
Sex, babies, periods, discharge. Our vaginas do a lot. But how well do you really know your vagina? Get comfy for a guided tour of your vagina with Dr Elizabeth O'Farrell. Plus, you'll meet Deanna, owner of possibly the world's most adventurous vagina, and Louise, who learnt something about her vagina at 53 that completely changed her life.
19/10/20•27m 32s
To pube or not to pube
Pubic hair — it's one of the most scrutinised patches of hair on our bodies. Research says 80 per cent of women groom their hair regularly. But why? What's really behind our choices? Data journalist Mona Chalabi muses on the perceived link between women's pubes and our sanity. Podcaster Maeve Marsden and comedian Christina Zheng debate to pube or not to pube.
05/10/20•30m 36s
Escaping monogamy
Monogamy is the default, but for lots of people it doesn't work. More and more people are actively looking for alternatives to monogamy, according to research. So why are many of us abandoning monogamy in favour of polyamorous and open relationships?
21/09/20•33m 54s
How to break up well
It can take months or years to get through a breakup, and the fallout can be totally devastating. Whether it's money, legal stuff, kids, or all the feelings, we're giving you practical tools to break up well and flourish afterwards. Writer Zoe Foster Blake teaches us how we can keep our dignity in a breakup and see it as a 'gift'.
07/09/20•27m 57s
Anal Sex — the biggest taboo
Warning: explicit content. One in five women in Australia has had anal sex. It's everywhere in porn and many of us, especially young women, are feeling the pressure to do it. It's uncomfortable discussing anal sex, so let's talk about it. Dr Nikki Goldstein sets out how to negotiate anal sex including consent and Professor Cicely Marston tells us how anal sex typically plays out for young people.
24/08/20•27m 57s
Solving the mental load — update
A movement's begun to expose the mental load women shoulder. All that relentless, unpaid, thankless and invisible work women do. Naming it is powerful, right? But we want solutions! Author Eve Rodsky breaks down the mental load and teaches you how to spread the mental load more evenly with our partners — hallelujah!
10/08/20•29m 21s
Emotional abuse
One in four Australian women have experienced emotional abuse from a partner. You don't get physically hurt, but psychologically it's devastating and it erodes your identity and trust in yourself. Hear from Investigative Journalist Jess Hill and Inez Carey from 1800 Respect about how you can recognize, and stop, emotional abuse.
27/07/20•32m 1s
Clitoris 101
When most of us picture our clitoris, we think of it as being the size of a tiny jellybean. But sisters, your clitoris is so much more than that! It's going to blow your mind just how amazing the clitoris is. You'll hear from the woman who 'discovered' it, Australian doctor, Helen O'Connell.
13/07/20•27m 53s
The answer's no
Women are pretty bad at saying no — we're socialised to please and serve others. Author of F*** No!, Sarah Knight, political commentator Jamilla Rizvi and emotional intelligence coach Rachel Green are going to teach you how to say no, and do it unapologetically.
29/06/20•31m 10s
Propping up your partner
Caring for partners is something women do well and often. But what's the limit, how do you know if your support is causing more harm than good and how do you do it without sacrificing yourself? We speak to women propping up their partner through issues like depression, addiction and suicide. Lifeline: 13 11 14Beyond Blue: 1300 22 46 361800 Respect:1800 737 732
15/06/20•36m 15s
Coronavirus — Are we panic buying partners?
You'd think a pandemic would stop all romance and the dating game. But it's seen an acceleration of relationships and romance as some single people panic bought partners like toilet paper. Ladies Producer Cassandra Steeth takes a look at love in the time of coronavirus and lets us peek into her new relationship too.
08/06/20•31m 32s
The gender beauty gap
It's no secret women spend way more time, energy and hard-earned cash on our appearances than men do. But what else could we be firing our mental bullets at if we weren't so worried about what the hell we looked like? Researcher, Dr Phillipa Deidrichs, says the focus many of us place on what we see in the mirror is stopping us from fully functioning.
01/06/20•33m 45s
A gender gap of pandemic proportions
Guess who is way worse off in pandemics? Yup — women. While we're leading the charge on the frontline by slogging away in jobs like nursing, teaching and aged care, our purses are copping a flogging now and into the future. More women than men have lost their jobs during this crisis and there are no prizes for picking who does the lion's share of home-schooling. COVID-19 is creating a gendered storm of pandemic proportions (sorry, we couldn't help ourselves).The good news is, other women are the ones helping us through this crisis. Gender inclusion commentator, Amy Haddad, says we have some very finely honed skills in just shovelling through shit. And, you know, we just keep on shovelling.
18/05/20•29m 56s
The secrets we keep
Most of us have a secret we've never told anyone. Secrets are self-protective and universal, but some are hard to keep and impossible to share. If your secret is eating you up or has the propensity to blow up your entire life — should you share it? Are secrets better out than in? Dr Katie Greenaway says it depends. Psychotherapist Gillian Straker walks us through the shame some secrets bring and what kinds we're keeping from ourselves.
04/05/20•35m 46s
50-shades of erotic literature
What if you could read something that would radically change your sex life and your whole relationship dynamic? What if, a few pages could actually make you feel like sex with your long-term partner?Cue the case for erotic literature — the nerdy aphrodisiac you didn't know you needed. Low sex drive affects many of us, including Sally, who says erotica has increased her libido 10-fold. You'll also hear from Kate Cuthbert from the Victorian Writers Centre and Gina Gutierrez from an audio-erotica company on how erotica is evolving.
20/04/20•26m 45s
Anxious? We got you
While one in three women will experience anxiety in normal circumstances, when COVID-19 hit, for many it was the first time they'd ever felt anxious. And for many of us, that feeling isn't going away because there's a lot to be anxious about - pandemics, climate change, money, kids and the list goes on. To help, we're revisiting an episode we did in season 2 in which Dr Charlotte Keating coaches us through climate change anxiety. Her advice is super relevant for if you're feeling anxious. Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 46 36 Headspace: 1800 650 890
06/04/20•30m 58s
Coronavirus — hot tips on how you can get through
Whether you're juggling working at home with kids or figuring out how to pay rent as a single mum after losing your job — life just got a whole lot tougher for women. Many women are on the front line of fighting coronavirus at home and self-isolation is feeling like total chaos. In the first episode of season 4 Yumi Stynes dives into your corona shitshow and talks with clinical psychologist Dr Jacqui Winship about ways you can make lockdown a little more bearable.
02/04/20•32m 19s
BONUS — The concrete ceiling
You’ll have heard of the glass ceiling — the invisible barrier that stops women getting ahead at work. For women of colour, that ceiling is actually concrete. And while you can (sometimes) shatter a glass ceiling, the concrete ceiling is a much tougher barrier to smash. At a live recording of Ladies, We Need To Talk, Yumi Stynes speaks with a panel of brilliant women about what it’s like looking up at the concrete ceiling. Our guests were Professor Sujatha Fernandes, Shy Magsalin and Shyamla Eswaran.This episode is a part of the ABC’s Australia Talks project, which aims to find out what Australians are really thinking and feeling, and uses those findings to help us all learn something about each other.
09/12/19•33m 24s
Ladies, we love your boobs
Boobies, tits, cans, your rack. Ladies, we want to celebrate your boobs. Despite what the beauty mags tell you, boobs come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big, some small, some are great at breastfeeding, others are not. Some women love their boobs, others get new ones. This episode talks about, and celebrates, all the boobs.
04/11/19•31m 35s
Toxic mums
There’s a whole lot of mythology around the so-called sacred mother-daughter bond, but it isn’t always reality. Mumming is hard work. It’s a tonne of unpaid emotional and physical labour, and mums don’t always get it right. We speak to women who’ve navigated very fraught relationships with their mums.
21/10/19•32m 5s
Sex after sexual assault
One in five Australian women over the age of 15 have experienced sexual violence. 1.4 million Australians have lived through childhood sexual abuse.So if that’s you, how do you find the courage to be intimate again? For this episode we speak to women who’ve struggled to have sex after sexual assault, and others who now have a healthy sex life.Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732
07/10/19•30m 53s
Sexually transmitted isolation
Around four million Australians have had an STI at some point in their life, but who ever talks about it? STI’s are shrouded in loads of shame, secrecy and regret. And it’s not just young people getting them — women in their 30s and 40s get them too. In fact, the number of older people getting them is actually growing. We smash the stigma and learn that women living with an STI aren’t alone.
23/09/19•29m 54s
Walking away from your kids — update
Women are still expected to be primary caregivers — but what happens when they choose to walk away from this role? In season one we heard from women who "broke the motherhood contract". They were no longer living with their kids and felt society judged them harshly for it. We check back in to see how those women are going now.
09/09/19•27m 26s
How to make friends as an adult
At a certain point in life, making friends gets trickier and feels super awkward. Many of us want and need new friends though — so how do you do it? At a live recording of Ladies, We Need To Talk, Yumi Stynes and a panel of amazing women chat about why having good friends is so important and give advice for making new ones.
26/08/19•34m 48s
The patriarchy of poo
Do you feel embarrassed if you have to poo in public? You're not alone. Whether it's poo, farts, discharge or sweat — women are constantly self-conscious about our odour because it's considered 'unladylike' to smell. But if everyone on the planet needs to poo to survive, why do we have such poo shame? And if poo is on top of the list of things we feel awkward talking about, how do we know when something's going wrong with our bowels? So, Ladies, let's talk about poo.
12/08/19•29m 47s
Esther Perel — how to have a hard conversation
How do you tell a mate your friendship isn't working? Or a partner you can't stand the way they kiss? Hard conversations are tough to have but sometimes necessary. Psychotherapist Esther Perel is the world's best known couples counsellor and she gives Yumi a lesson on how to navigate difficult conversations.
29/07/19•32m 32s
Birth control — choose your own adventure
We're totally spoilt for choice when it comes to birth control. There are 12 different types of contraception to choose from and about 30 different brands of the pill. Having all these options is awesome, but how do you know you've chosen the right one for you?
15/07/19•32m 25s
Stone cold sober — alcohol update
In season one, we looked at why so many Australian women drink at risky levels. Yumi Stynes revealed her battle with drinking and quit alcohol. We also met Jo, who drank at really risky levels. This episode, we check back in, to see how they're going, plus show you how to cut down your drinking if you'd like to sub the wine for kombucha.
01/07/19•35m 46s
Footloose and childfree
Grow up, find a partner, have kids — we’ve been doing it for thousands of years. But more and more women are choosing to ignore that path. And the latest research says they’re actually happier for it. So why do we judge women without kids?
17/06/19•29m 24s
Body image — why do we hate our bodies?
Have you ever felt like a massive failure when you've looked in the mirror or felt depressed about the size of your thighs? You're not alone — research says almost 80 per cent of Australian women are unhappy with their weight. And nearly one million Australians have an eating disorder, most of them, women. What can we do to feel better about our bodies?
03/06/19•33m 28s
Discharge — the gooey taboo
Lots of women are really self-conscious about the way their vaginas smell. We quickly hide our undies the second we take them off and up to a third of us wear a panty liner every day. But how much do you actually know about discharge? What should it smell like? What should it look like? And should we just stop dissing our discharge?
20/05/19•22m 51s
Abortion — beyond the stereotype
If you’re in your 30s and have had an abortion or are going to, you’re not going through it alone. It’s a myth that only the young and reckless have abortions. The stats show that older women, and those who already have kids, are having more abortions in Australia than teenagers. So if they’re the facts, why is abortion shrouded in shame, judgement and silence for older women?
06/05/19•32m 35s
When bad sex is your life
We’ve all got a bad sex story. The partner who’s selfish in the sack. The horribly uninspiring one-night stand. The lover with 'performance anxiety'. Most of us have been there. There’s this idea though that we grow out of it — that we all get better at 'doing it' as we get older. But what if that doesn’t happen? What if bad sex is your life?
22/04/19•33m 45s
INTRODUCING — Series 3 of Ladies, We Need To Talk
We're back! Join Yumi Stynes as she once again tears open the sealed section on life to talk all about your forbidden lady business. This is the podcast where we can confess all our secret ladies' stuff and learn something along the way. So, whether it's your discharge, what you use for birth control, or how you can make a new friend ... we're here for you! Ring us on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au. Subscribe now so you never miss an episode.
08/04/19•3m 5s
Ladies, we love you
You trusted us with some of your deepest, darkest and most intimate secrets and you let us share them with the podcast universe.For our final episode of 2018, we check in with the women we’ve met and hear from YOU about what you’ve learnt.
05/11/18•30m 31s
Anxious much?
Everyone gets a little bit anxious at times, but is what you’re feeling normal? Anxiety is the most common mental health issue in Australia. Up to one in three women will experience anxiety, for men it’s one in five.So why are women going through this? And if you are, what can you do about it?Crisis linesLifeline on 13 11 14Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36Headspace on 1800 650 890QLife on 1800 184 527Chat servicesElefriends SaneeHeadspace Beyondblue
22/10/18•29m 9s
Perimenopause — coming to a uterus near you
Sore boobs, loss of libido, hot flushes, irregular periods. Sound familiar? While you may think you’ll only experience these symptoms when you’re of a 'certain age' and hitting menopause, it turns out, they can creep in way earlier.Welcome to perimenopause! And if you think that’s years down the track, think again.
08/10/18•30m 42s
Mean girls — our secret sexism
How often have you casually heard the terms "bitch" or "mean girl" being used to describe another woman? And, be honest, how often have you used them? In a world where we’re sold the idea that women constantly compete, compare and undermine each other, what are the invisible forces that shape the way we treat each other? And how can we stop, and strengthen the sisterhood instead?
24/09/18•28m 47s
The secret life of hormones
Every month you go on a hormonal rollercoaster but most of us ride it blindfolded. Reproductive hormones control ovulation but they can also affect how you think. Oestrogen can make you feel fantastic, while progesterone can make you feel crappy. And for women who are hormonally sensitive, this rollercoaster can feel like a freefall.
10/09/18•30m 34s
When sex hurts
Sex that feels like your vagina is about to tear open isn’t exactly dinner party conversation, but it’s common. One in five women experience painful sex, according to a study by the University of NSW.
27/08/18•31m 19s
Obsession with youth
If we are intelligent, ambitious and capable women, why are we still judged by the way we look?The Australasian College of Cosmetic Surgery estimates that Australians spend around $1 billion a year on cosmetic procedures. Most of that is spent on botox and fillers.So if we’re spending so much money on looking young, are we complicit in society’s obsession with youth?
13/08/18•30m 57s
Settling for average
A healthy relationship is meant to feel like a warm hug from your mum after about a year, according to psychologists. But if your partner doesn’t feel like your perfect soul mate all the time, you might feel like you settled for something you didn’t sign up to. So does 'settling' exist or is it just a reality of long-term monogamy?
30/07/18•27m 29s
Ladies Live — closing the orgasm gap
Women don’t orgasm as often as men during sex. A US study of 50,000 people found 95% of men orgasm during sex, but only 65 per cent of straight women do.
16/07/18•32m 0s
The pelvic flaw in all of us
Do you wee when you sneeze? Or avoid star jumps at the gym? One in four of us experience pelvic floor problems which can lead to incontinence, or even prolapse.
03/07/18•27m 47s
Foreplay — getting what you want
When was the last time you talked about foreplay? Women tend to need more foreplay than men — so if your partner’s just a bit crap at foreplay — get them to listen to this. We talk to psychotherapist Esther Perel and a bunch of brilliant female experts about their best foreplay tips.
18/06/18•26m 44s
BONUS — ladies who are single and killing it
We’ve been inundated with single ladies flying the solo flag with pride. We asked you; what do you love about your single life? What have you been able to achieve because you’re single? What would you happily never hear again from your coupled-up mates? Here are your stories.
15/06/18•5m 25s
Being single and owning it
More people are living the single life than ever before. But what if you don’t need a partner to feel whole? In a world that wants you to couple up, is being single the new happily ever after?
04/06/18•27m 16s
Can porn be good for women?
It’s free, it’s prolific, it’s easy to find and more of us than ever are watching it but is mainstream porn contributing to the exploitation of women? Is it normalising bedroom practices that are problematic? Or is it just good, dirty fun? Warning: contains explicit material.
21/05/18•28m 15s
BONUS — you tell us - living through pregnancy loss
The response to our last episode was extraordinary. We asked you; what do you wish people knew about pregnancy loss? What’s the best thing to say? How can we better support family or friends who are dealing with it? Here are your stories.
18/05/18•3m 10s
The 12 week rule
The first trimester of a pregnancy can often be the hardest, so why do so many women feel the need to stay quiet? And what if the answer — miscarriage — is the reason we should be talking about pregnancy earlier?
07/05/18•24m 43s
Women who cheat
The statistics say the number of women who are unfaithful is massively on the rise. So why? What’s driving those who seek a covert thrill outside their relationship? And does society still judge women who stray more harshly than men? Warning: this podcast contains strong language and adult themes.
24/04/18•27m 15s
INTRODUCING — series 2 of Ladies, We Need To Talk
We’re back! Season two is coming and this time, we’re calling on you - our sisters out there. What's in your treasure chest of taboos you feel like you can't tell anyone, but seriously need to get off your chest?We’re here to talk about it. Ring us on 1300 641 222 or email ladies@abc.net.au.
10/04/18•3m 10s
Bonus: More than pads and tampons
When was the last time you sat down with your girlfriends and had a conversation about menstrual products? No need to. We did it for you.
23/11/17•7m 42s
Bonus: Your vagina questions answered
Imagine knowing so much about vaginas that you’ve been given an Order of Australia medal. Dr Elizabeth Farrell received the award for her incredible work in women’s health. Warning: This episode contains the odd swear word, frank disclosure and graphic description.
09/11/17•5m 40s
Masturbation — the big taboo
Masturbation is still a conversation stopper for many women. There are some really good reasons, though, why we need to move on from our embarrassment and start talking about women's pleasure.
25/10/17•22m 2s
Fat talk
You're a woman who makes a point of not hurting other women's feelings. But have you ever considered that the way you talk about your own body could be making other women feel like crap?
18/10/17•24m 50s
Has anyone seen my libido?
Your day is finally over, the kids are in bed, and you get a moment's peace. But then, your partner gives you the nudge and you're ready for sex! Right? Nope. Low sex drive is pretty common for women, but why is that? And how can that be fixed?
11/10/17•24m 36s
Breaking the motherhood contract
At some point, most mums ask 'is this really what I want?'. Sure motherhood means cuddles, love and macaroni necklaces. It also means sleepless nights, tantrums and vomiting bugs. But what happens when you genuinely regret motherhood? Or find yourself choosing not to raise your children?
04/10/17•21m 4s
Let's slay menstrual taboos
In many ways we're OK with periods, but we've still got a way to go. Because it's one thing to ask for a tampon, it's a whole other story when you leak onto your clothes. So how do we finally slay menstrual taboos?
27/09/17•22m 47s
Anyone for a drink?
Many of us like a glass of wine to help put a line under our day, and research tells us more Australian women are drinking than ever before. So why do we like to drink? And would you know if your drinking was heading down a hazardous path?
20/09/17•19m 57s
Time to name (and shame) the mental load
You’re cooking dinner, answering work emails, calling the tradie, and getting the kids bathed. All at the same time. It’s no wonder you feel like you're an octopus, juggling tasks. All of this work you do is invisible, ongoing, exhausting and, mostly, unrewarding. Want to know what it's called? And better still, how to banish it?
13/09/17•27m 0s
You say vulva, I say vagina
What’s the difference between your vulva and vagina? Do you know what your cervix feels like? Can you lose something inside your vagina? Ladies, it’s time for the sex ed lesson we missed out on as teens. Warning: This episode contains the odd swear word, frank disclosure and graphic description.
06/09/17•26m 16s
INTRODUCING — Ladies, We Need To Talk
Brace yourself. Leave your judgement at the door. And embrace a head first dive into those tricky topics that we’re all thinking about, but don’t feel comfortable talking about out loud.
31/08/17•3m 39s
