Therapy Works

The Agony Aunties respond to a listener question about the difficulties of making, keeping, and spending time with friends, emphasising the importance of deep friendships in their life. They mention the challenges posed by frequent moves and busy schedules, particularly in the context of having children and seeking affordable, spacious homes. The speaker acknowledges that many people share this experience and struggle to maintain close connections with their supportive friends due to these factors. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Julia welcomes mother-daughter duo Doris and Athina to share their personal journey through Athina's struggle with anorexia. They describe how Athina developed the disorder during her teenage years amidst family and societal turmoil, leading to severe health issues and hospitalisation. They discuss the physical and psychological battles they faced, including the shame and denial associated with the illness and the relentless daily struggles of recovery. Doris highlights the importance of trusting parental instincts and maintaining a united front against the disorder, while Athina shares her journey toward acceptance, recovery, and ultimately, living a fuller life. The conversation emphasises the significance of early intervention, the power of professional support, and the enduring impact of family dynamics on recovery. Support links for carers and advice:  New Maudsley Carers: https://newmaudsleycarers-kent.co.uk/about-us/ Beat Charity: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties dive into a listener’s question about imposter syndrome. We open up about our own experiences of feeling undeserving or underqualified - even when the facts say otherwise - and unpack why so many of us carry these doubts. We explore how imposter syndrome often acts as a protective mechanism, and how reframing it can help shift the narrative. From recognising emotional patterns to using stress reappraisal as a tool, we discuss ways to build self-trust, sit with discomfort, and see it as a sign of growth. This one’s all about giving yourself credit - even when your inner critic’s the loudest voice in the room. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this compelling and candid conversation, Julia sits down with her close friend Mariella Frostrup – renowned author, broadcaster, journalist and tireless campaigner – for a wide-ranging and deeply personal discussion on life, loss, and the pursuit of equity. Mariella reflects on her remarkable career path, from the world of music PR to becoming one of the UK’s most recognisable voices in journalism and broadcasting. She opens up about the early trauma of losing her father, the resilience forged in childhood, and the enduring impact it’s had on her outlook. Mariella shares what drives her advocacy for women’s rights – particularly around menopause and midlife. As the UK government’s menopause ambassador, she’s on a mission to tackle workplace inequality and challenge long-standing stigma around women's health. This episode is a celebration of fighting spirit, friendship, and the power of using your voice – not just for yourself, but for the generations of women who follow. 00:50 Early Life and Formative Experiences 02:25 Challenges and Resilience 08:45 Fighting for Women's Rights 21:16 Menopause and Advocacy 25:10 The Norm of Curvy Career Paths 25:46 Menopause and Workplace Discrimination 26:34 Campaigning Challenges and Strategies 27:23 Personal Reflections on Campaigning 35:09 The Importance of Menopause Awareness 41:29 Personal Growth and Overcoming Adversity 45:06 Parenting and Childhood Reflections Find Mariella: Website: https://www.mariellafrostrup.com Instagram: @mfrostrup Buy her book 'Cracking the Menopause': https://amzn.eu/d/ftcAjjL  Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener's question about feeling less valued than their younger half-brother by their stepmother. The listener shares experiences of unequal treatment and seeks advice on addressing these feelings without causing more tension. They discuss the challenges of adult children living at home, navigating complex family dynamics, and offer practical communication strategies. The episode emphasises the importance of being self-reflective and seeking supportive conversations both within and outside the family. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this powerful and very moving episode, Esther Ghey shares her story of unimaginable loss — the tragic murder of her daughter, Brianna Ghey, in February 2023. Speaking with grace and courage, Esther opens up about her grief journey, her ongoing campaign to improve mental health support for young people, and her mission to create safer online spaces through her charity, Peace and Mind UK. Esther discusses the healing practices that have helped her, including mindfulness, meditation, and the transformative power of self-compassion. She also reflects on the complexities of Brianna’s life and the harsh realities young people face online today. One of the most striking moments in this conversation is Esther’s expression of empathy toward the mother of one of her daughter’s killers - a testament to her capacity for forgiveness and her commitment to peace over hatred. Through her book, Under a Pink Sky, and her advocacy work, Esther is turning personal tragedy into meaningful change - and this conversation is a deeply emotional and inspiring reminder of the human capacity for compassion and hope. Timestamps: 00:19 – The Tragic Loss of Brianna Ghey 01:07 – Coping with Grief and Mental Health 02:28 – Mindfulness and Self-Compassion 06:07 – Reflections on Personal Struggles 13:24 – Brianna’s Complex Personality 16:30 – The Impact of Social Media and Lockdown 19:52 – Family Struggles and Addiction 21:28 – The Dangers of Online Content 25:09 – Parental Challenges and Public Perception 27:12 – A Mother’s Compassion: Meeting the Killer’s Mother 27:55 – The Power of Forgiveness and Empathy 29:22 – Building Bridges: Friendship with Emma 31:24 – Restorative Justice and Letting Go of Hate 34:14 – Peace and Mind UK: A Legacy of Hope 37:32 – Cherry Blossoms and Pink Skies: Signs from Brianna 39:21 – Grief, Acceptance, and the Mystery of Afterlife 42:13 – Reflections on the Conversation with Emily and Sophie Buy Esther's book: https://amzn.eu/d/b59YwyE Support Peace and Mind UK: https://www.peaceandminduk.org/ Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Agony Aunties episode, a listener writes in about the emotional challenges of caring for her mother who is starting to show signs of aging. The Agony Aunties discuss the delicate balance between providing help and respecting the parent's independence. They highlight the importance of having tender, collaborative conversations and preparing for the future. The discussion also touches on the emotional complexity of witnessing a parent's decline and offers practical advice for maintaining patience and understanding. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, award-winning broadcaster, journalist and author Emma Barnett opens up about the unseen struggles that have shaped both her personal and professional life. Emma shares her journey with endometriosis and adenomyosis, the toll of chronic pain, and the emotional realities of going through IVF to have her children. Speaking with clarity, honesty and conviction, she dismantles taboos around women’s health and offers a nuanced perspective on the complexities of motherhood — one that goes far beyond picture-perfect expectations. We also dive into her book Maternity Service, where Emma challenges outdated notions of maternity leave and reclaims the narrative of what it means to become a mother. This episode is a candid reflection on resilience, identity, and why the stories we don’t often tell are the ones that matter most. 01:02 Emma's Health Challenges 03:13 IVF Journey and Motherhood 05:50 Living with Pain and Finding Strength 08:28 Emma's Background and Upbringing 15:11 Professional Life and Broadcasting 20:26 Discussing the Book 'Maternity Service' 33:25 Losing and Gaining Yourself 33:43 Balancing Career and Home Life 34:00 The Importance of Flexibility 35:12 The 'Let Them' Movement 35:26 Influence and Relationships 38:50 Community and Support 45:46 Survival Strategies for Parents 49:07 Hope and Determination 54:24 Reflections on Motherhood Find Emma: Instagram: @emmabarnett Buy her book, Maternity Service: https://amzn.eu/d/3C2izpu Website: https://www.emmabarnett.org/ Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties tackle a listener's question about dealing with the pain of family estrangement. They provide thoughtful advice, suggesting outreach to communities in similar situations, the therapeutic use of letters, and the importance of individual and family therapy. They emphasise the necessity of processing grief, managing obsessive thoughts, and finding personal agency in the face of unresolved trauma. Lastly, they acknowledge the listener's own emotional journey and encourage self-support during this challenging time. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartfelt episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Julia welcomes Lindsey Burrow, widow of rugby legend Rob Burrow. Lindsey discusses the challenges of coping with Rob's battle against motor neurone disease and life after his passing in June 2024. She opens up about dealing with anticipatory grief, the struggle of single parenthood, and maintaining a positive mindset. Lindsey also shares her ways of coping through exercise, the importance of communication, and the support she received from family and friends. Lindsey also sheds light on the role of unpaid carers, the importance of exercise and communication, and her efforts to continue Rob's legacy through fundraising for a specialist MND care centre and her upcoming book, 'Take Care,' which which focuses on love, resilience, and the power of family during adversity. Buy Lindsey's book: https://amzn.eu/d/epJlLxi Follow Lindsey on Instagram: @rob7lindsey 00:22 Lindsey Burrow's Story: Life with Rob Burrow 01:11 Greatest Challenges After Rob's Passing 03:03 Coping with Grief and Loss 04:25 Balancing Parenthood and Personal Grief 06:02 The Role of a Carer 15:44 Children's Grief and Resilience 29:10 Rob's Legacy and Future Plans 30:17 Writing the Book: A Therapeutic Journey 32:57 Final Thoughts Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today's episode, a letter to the Agony Aunties sparks a deeply honest conversation about what it means to love two people at once. The writer shares her experience of being in a long-term marriage of 33 years while also falling for another man. The hosts explore the emotional weight of this dual connection and the very human complexities of desire, loyalty, and longing. Drawing on the insights of relationship experts like Dan Savage and Esther Perel, the discussion unpacks the prevalence of extramarital affairs and the often-unspoken struggles within committed relationships. From trust and secrecy to self-reflection and growth, this episode invites listeners to sit with the grey areas and consider how we reconcile love, truth, and our evolving sense of self within a marriage. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Nadiya Hussain shares her journey from a housewife to a renowned baker and author, detailing the challenges she faced along the way. She discusses the impact of her immigrant background, societal pressures, and personal struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. Nadiya touches upon her career’s milestones, including her victory on The Great British Bake Off, and how each new project brings its own set of challenges and expectations. She also reflects on family dynamics, the significance of open communication, and the importance of maintaining dreams and aspirations despite obstacles. The conversation highlights Nadiya's relentless determination, love for family, and the unique challenges she faces as a British Bangladeshi Muslim woman in the public eye. 00:09 Nadiya's Multifaceted Identity 00:54 Challenges and Overcoming Them 02:15 Facing Criticism and Bias 06:25 Childhood Dreams and Realizations 09:34 Family Dynamics and Cultural Expectations 11:35 Pursuing Education Against All Odds 23:57 Marriage and Personal Growth 25:06 Navigating Family Dynamics and Adaptability 27:47 Understanding Parental Decisions and Forgiveness 29:23 The Legacy of Courage and Change 32:08 Overcoming Personal Challenges and Achievements 36:31 Facing Cultural and Professional Hurdles 41:39 Family, Fame, and Open Communication 48:11 Embracing Challenges and Personal Growth Find Nadiya: Website: https://www.nadiyahussain.com/ Instagram: @nadiyajhussain Buy Nadiya's new book 'Rooza': https://www.nadiyahussain.com/book/rooza/ Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties discuss a delicate and complex issue brought up by a listener whose partner's brother has two adult daughters conceived using a sperm donor. Despite being aware of the donor conception, the daughters have never been told, and the listener seeks advice on whether and how they should be informed. The Agony Aunties emphasise the importance of the biological parents handling the conversation and suggest seeking support from organisations like the Donor Conception Network. They also recommend exploring personal fears around disclosure and preparing for the conversation through therapy. Throughout the discussion, they highlight the roles family members can play in providing support and maintaining strong relationships. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Julia Samuel welcomes Lucy Brazier, the author of 'The Honesty Box', who candidly shares the challenges she faces in her marriage due to her husband's longstanding struggles with depression. Lucy discusses the transformative impact of an eventual ADHD and autism diagnosis on their relationship, their coping mechanisms, and the critical role of honest communication.  Their story also highlights systemic issues in mental health diagnosis and treatment. Additionally, the episode features a discussion among Julia and her daughters about the broader implications of these struggles in marriages, underscoring the importance of understanding, patience, and resilience. 00:32 Struggles with Depression in Marriage 00:59 Decision to Divorce 02:25 Emotional Impact and Resentment 03:20 Challenges of Supporting a Depressed Partner 11:32 Discovery of ADHD 13:04 The Honesty Box Project 16:46 Impact of ADHD Diagnosis 26:44 Dual Diagnosis: ADHD and ASD 30:54 Understanding Family Dynamics 31:17 Balancing Openness and Protection 33:02 Collective Agency in Mental Health 34:23 Navigating Differences in Marriage 36:31 Embracing Imperfections and Courage 39:14 The Importance of Honest Conversations 40:24 Coping Mechanisms and Adaptations 54:05 The Role of Diagnosis and Acceptance 57:08 Reflections on Divorce and Relationships Buy Lucy's book: https://amzn.eu/d/990Khdl Instagram: @brazier.lucy Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this engaging episode, Owen O'Kane, a psychotherapist, former palliative care specialist, and ex-NHS clinical lead for mental health, shares his professional journey and deeply personal story. He reflects on his transition from nursing in palliative care to training as a psychotherapist, a shift inspired by witnessing the profound psychological distress many patients faced. Owen also opens up about his upbringing in Northern Ireland during the Troubles and the personal struggles of coming out as gay in a Catholic family. He highlights how his lived experiences shape his therapeutic approach, emphasising the power of empathy, trauma awareness, and emotional resilience in mental health care. Drawing from his latest book, Addicted to Anxiety, Owen introduces the concept that anxiety can function like an addiction, offering a false sense of safety while keeping individuals trapped in cycles of fear. He discusses practical strategies for managing anxiety, including learning to acknowledge, accept, and even befriend the anxious self rather than resisting it. His insights provide a fresh and compassionate perspective on understanding anxiety, helping listeners develop greater self-awareness and healthier coping mechanisms to break free from its grip. Buy Owen's new book, 'Addicted to Anxiety': https://amzn.eu/d/cxRKYCD Follow Owen: @owenokaneten Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Therapy Works podcast, broadcaster, author, and political commentator Iain Dale shares an intimate look at his career and personal journey. He opens up about the pressures of public life, imposter syndrome, and health struggles, as well as the deeply personal experience of coming out to his family. Through candid storytelling, Iain reflects on the importance of being seen and validated by loved ones, the impact of childhood experiences, and the complex emotions surrounding his relationship with his mother. Iain discusses the challenges of navigating a public career while staying true to himself, offering insights into the role of therapy, personal reflection, and overcoming self-doubt. A thought-provoking and heartfelt episode, this discussion reminds us of the importance of embracing vulnerability and finding strength in our personal stories. 01:22 Challenges of a Public Role 10:15 Health Struggles and Personal Reflections 19:36 Coming Out and Family Reactions 28:10 Reflecting on a Mother's Love and Regret 29:04 Complex Emotions and Unspoken Wounds 30:04 Career Reflections and Family Dynamics 30:45 Navigating Public and Private Life 31:47 The Journey of Acceptance and Identity 33:03 Thoughts on Parenthood and Personal Choices 35:33 Imposter Syndrome and Professional Growth 38:06 The Role of Education and Early Influences 39:34 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Finding Confidence 40:36 The Breakthrough in Radio 44:49 Final Reflections Find Iain:  Instagram: @iaindale X: @IainDale Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a heartfelt message from a listener struggling with the loss of a close friend. As an atheist, they feel isolated and alienated by the predominantly Christian language surrounding grief. The Agony Aunties explore the importance of finding grief support that resonates with non-religious individuals and suggest alternatives like The Grief Gang. They acknowledge the profound pain and loneliness that can come with grief, emphasising the need for open expression and validation of loss. The conversation also delves into the role of anger in the grieving process, highlighting its importance as a natural emotional response. The Agony Aunties share practical ways to navigate grief, including emotional regulation techniques and finding therapists or support communities that respect non-religious perspectives. This episode serves as a reminder that everyone deserves compassionate and inclusive support, no matter their beliefs. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this deeply moving episode of Therapy Works, Lottie Clark shares the story of her husband James’s battle with motor neurone disease. She opens up about the emotional and physical toll of his diagnosis, the challenges of caring for a loved one with a terminal illness, and the difficult decisions their family faced—including James’s choice to pursue assisted dying at Dignitas. Lottie speaks candidly about the impact on their children, the process of saying goodbye, and the long road of grief that follows loss. This conversation offers an intimate look at navigating life when faced with unimaginable circumstances. Lottie’s story is one of heartbreak but also of deep strength and unwavering love. She reflects on the power of open conversations, the importance of honouring personal choices in end-of-life care, and her ongoing campaign for assisted dying legislation. This is an episode about grief, but also about the extraordinary courage it takes to walk alongside someone through their final chapter. 00:55 Facing a Terminal Diagnosis 04:41 The Emotional Impact and Initial Reactions 06:36 Planning for the Future 13:01 Communicating with the Children 15:11 The Decision for Assisted Dying 26:55 Reflecting on the Impact of Loss 27:26 Honest Conversations with Children 29:32 A Final Family Trip 31:44 Saying Goodbye 33:12 Campaigning for Assisted Dying 36:29 The Journey of Repatriation 39:20 Finding Strength in Love 50:22 The Complexity of Assisted Dying 57:34 The Long Road of Grief If you are looking to campaign, please find out more here: https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we discuss navigating the challenges of finding a suitable therapist, especially when finances are a concern. We cover various aspects such as therapist fees, the importance of a good therapist-client fit, and practical advice on utilising sliding scales, group therapy, and recommendations from friends. We also touch on the value of accredited therapists and the benefits of support from voluntary organizations and training institutes. The conversation includes tips on making initial free phone calls to therapists and emphasises the power and affordability of group therapy. 00:36 Challenges in Finding the Right Therapist 00:59 Financial Considerations and Sliding Scale Options 01:34 Importance of Therapist-Client Fit 04:10 Exploring Group Therapy 07:04 Alternative Therapy Options and Final Thoughts Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on Therapy Works, Dr Julie Smith—clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and online mental health educator—joins Julia Samuel for a deeply personal and insightful conversation on health, success, and the importance of mental well-being. Julie opens up about the unexpected success of her first book, the challenges of navigating a public career, and how her values—particularly as a parent—help her stay grounded. She also shares how her cancer diagnosis and treatment impacted her both personally and professionally, reflecting on how she managed to balance her roles as a parent and an author while facing one of the most challenging experiences of her life. The conversation also explores the power of language, books, and storytelling in helping people navigate difficult emotions and experiences. Julia's daughters, Emily and Sophie, offer their own reflections on the discussion, delving into the role of books as a source of support, the complexities of motherhood, and the ongoing challenge of work-life balance. Buy Julie's new book: https://amzn.eu/d/fR4P4j2 Website: drjuliesmith.com Instagram: @drjulie TikTok & YouTube: @DrJulieSmith Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this deeply personal episode, Julia opens up about the year following her devastating skiing accident—a journey marked by a broken shoulder, multiple surgeries, and the onset of Ramsay Hunt syndrome. She candidly shares the physical and emotional toll of her recovery, from the lasting effects on her face to the daily challenges of living with pain and physical limitations. Through honesty and vulnerability, Julia reflects on the lessons of resilience, humility, and acceptance that have emerged from this experience. She expresses gratitude for the support she has received while also acknowledging the frustration of navigating ongoing setbacks. This conversation offers a powerful insight into the psychological impact of injury, the unpredictability of healing, and the strength it takes to keep moving forward. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartfelt episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener considering whether to reconnect with their estranged father after years of no contact. Inspired by New Year reflections, the listener navigates the emotional weight of this potential decision. The Agony Aunties explore the complexities of family dynamics, discussing how to manage expectations, understand personal motivations, and protect one’s emotional well-being. They share thoughtful advice, such as seeking therapy, leaning on trusted friends for support, and remembering there is no obligation to reconnect. Whether you’re grappling with similar family challenges or simply seeking insight into navigating tricky relationships, this episode offers compassionate guidance and actionable steps to prioritise self-care. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this thoughtful and uplifting episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener's heartfelt concerns about feeling behind in life and grappling with self-comparison as the New Year begins. They explore why these feelings are so common and how our tendency to measure ourselves against others can create a false sense of inadequacy. The Agony Aunties share practical advice for approaching the New Year with self-compassion and positivity, encouraging listeners to focus on their personal journeys rather than comparisons. They discuss the power of recognising and challenging critical self-talk, finding small 'glimmers' of positivity in daily life, and setting resolutions that spark joy instead of fostering deprivation. If you’re looking for a fresh perspective on starting the year with self-acceptance and meaningful change, this episode is for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Agony Aunties are here to help you tackle the highs and lows of the festive season! In this episode, they share practical advice on managing Christmas stress, from handling family tensions to dealing with financial pressures and sky-high expectations. They talk about the power of setting boundaries, planning much-needed time-outs, and having open conversations about presents and plans to ease the strain. The Aunties also highlight the importance of self-care and protecting your mental health during this busy time. With tips like envisioning positive interactions and staying flexible with family traditions, they offer realistic ways to keep the season joyful. Don’t forget—you can check out past AA episodes for even more guidance on navigating holiday challenges! If you're looking for more support this Christmas, please find one of our older episodes about navigating Christmas stress here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/bonus-a-guide-to-navigating-christmas/id1646616622?i=1000639395275 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this expert episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Claire Plumbly, the author of Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You, delves into the complexities of the autonomic nervous system and explores how it plays a critical role in managing stress and trauma. Using the polyvagal theory by Stephen Porges, she explains how the nervous system is impacted by these experiences and offers practical tools for prevention and healing. The conversation also focuses on key strategies for managing burnout, particularly during emotionally charged times such as the Christmas season. Dr. Plumbly highlights the significance of self-compassion and compassion for others, offering actionable techniques to regulate emotions, navigate grief and loss, and approach family conflicts with understanding. This episode provides valuable psychoeducation and advice, empowering listeners to maintain their mental and physical well-being during the holiday season and beyond. Read Claire's book: https://www.drclaireplumbly.com/burnout-book Claire's website: https://www.drclaireplumbly.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener grappling with self-esteem and confidence as they navigate the changes that come with ageing. They share candid reflections on their own experiences, including the challenges of feeling less visible and the impact this can have on self-worth. The discussion explores how ageing can be both a loss and an opportunity to cultivate new strengths, roles, and sources of confidence. The conversation highlights the importance of embracing body positivity, redefining personal power in later years, and finding joy in the wisdom and resilience that come with age. With empathy and insight, the Agony Aunties offer practical advice on how to balance the grief of lost youth with the cultivation of new possibilities, reminding listeners of the value in supporting one another through life’s transitions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Miranda Hart opens up about living with chronic illness and the profound life changes it brought. She shares how a long-term, debilitating condition led her into solitude, challenging her to reassess her identity beyond societal expectations. Miranda reflects on her evolving relationship with vulnerability—once misunderstood as a performance but now embraced as a path to self-awareness and emotional growth. She delves into the cultural and personal challenges of admitting needs and setting boundaries, shaped by her upbringing and career demands, and how she found strength through self-compassion and authenticity. Miranda discusses insights from her book, I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest with You, which captures her path toward joy, connection, and a more meaningful life. Together, they unpack the healing power of understanding our needs, seeking help, and embracing vulnerability as a foundation for personal growth. This is an inspiring episode for anyone navigating challenges and seeking a deeper connection with themselves. Buy Miranda's Book: https://amzn.eu/d/fpMrzng Follow Miranda: @realmirandahart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we respond to a listener’s heartfelt question about why dating feels so difficult, especially in the world of apps. Together, the Agony Aunties explore the emotional challenges of modern dating—the repetitive swiping, the emotional labour involved, and the way dating platforms are designed to keep users engaged rather than help them find lasting connections. Emily shares her own experiences with loneliness and offers advice on embracing being single, focusing on self-worth and finding joy within. We also discuss the concept of 'active hope'—taking small, proactive steps to build resilience and personal happiness, regardless of relationship status. Finally, Sophie reflects on the reality that even in relationships, new challenges emerge, proving that every stage of life has its complexities. This episode is a reminder that while dating can be tough, focusing on your own well-being can make all the difference. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Mimi opens up about the sudden loss of her mother at the age of 27. As an only child living in New York and emotionally distant from her family, Mimi’s world was upended when her mother, while visiting family in Stockholm, suffered a fatal heart attack. This devastating event forced Mimi to re-evaluate her priorities and self-identity, leading her to move back to London to live with her father. Mimi reflects on her regrets about not spending more time with her mother, the cultural differences that shaped her family dynamics, and her ongoing journey toward self-compassion and emotional growth. She shares how this experience has brought her closer to her father and allowed her to find a deeper connection to her late mother. Throughout the conversation, Mimi emphasises the importance of living authentically, connecting with one’s roots, and finding strength in empathy and community support while navigating grief. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartfelt episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener navigating a complex family dynamic. The listener shares their story of a nine-year relationship filled with love and joy alongside their three-year-old son, but also the weight of familial troubles. From addiction to parental separation and childhood trauma in their partner's family, these challenges raise questions about how to balance compassion with personal well-being. The Aunties offer thoughtful advice on how to approach these sensitive issues. They discuss the importance of open communication with the partner, understanding your own emotional limits, and seeking professional support through therapy. They explore strategies for breaking unhealthy family patterns, building emotional intelligence, and prioritising the child’s stability and happiness. This episode is a compassionate guide for anyone grappling with similar challenges, offering both practical steps and reassurance for finding balance amidst complexity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartfelt episode, Julia sits down with former footballer Tony Adams to explore his extraordinary journey through addiction, recovery, and personal growth. Tony reflects on his challenging childhood, marked by fear and loneliness, and how football became his escape. He shares candid insights into his struggles with addiction, recounting the pivotal moments that led to his ‘rock bottom’ and the transformative support he found through AA and his therapist, James West. Tony discusses the power of therapy, the importance of vulnerability, and the role of trust in his recovery, offering a deeply personal perspective on overcoming life’s hardest challenges. Now sober since 1996, Tony has dedicated himself to helping others through Sporting Chance, the charity he founded to support athletes with addiction and mental health issues. He reflects on how recovery has reshaped his relationships, particularly with his children and grandchildren, and shares the life lessons he’s learned about accountability, letting go, and finding purpose. Tune in to hear Tony’s inspiring story of redemption and the life lessons he’s learned along the way. Episode Highlights: 00:54 Challenges and Family Background 02:25 Childhood Fears and Escaping to Football 07:19 Struggles with Addiction and Recovery 16:04 Rock Bottom and Turning Point 20:44 The Role of Therapy and Support 26:03 Existential Therapy and Self-Discovery 26:41 The 12-Step Program Journey 29:04 Facing Fears and Addiction 31:58 Sporting Chance and Mental Health Advocacy 45:17 Grieving and Letting Go 48:33 Reflections on Life and Legacy Find Tony: Twitter: @TonyAdams Instagram: @tonyadamsofficial Visit Sporting Chance’s website to discover more about their work supporting athletes with addiction and mental health challenges. If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A person seeks advice from the Agony Aunties about dealing with a husband who regularly expresses frustration, anger, and suicidal threats, which affects the whole family. They emphasise understanding one's own limits and seeking support, discussing concepts like codependency and the importance of self-care. They suggest looking into resources like support groups, while maintaining open communication with the children and considering the impact on their well-being. They recommend resources such as CoDA.org and the book 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie, while also addressing the complexities of maintaining relationships amidst conflict. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this deeply moving episode, Zoe opens up about her journey following the imprisonment of her ex-husband, sentenced to nine years. She candidly shares how this life-altering event has impacted her and her two children, as they navigate the emotional turbulence, grief, and stigma that accompany such a profound upheaval. Zoe reflects on her children’s varied emotional responses, her personal challenges in setting boundaries, and the toll on her mental health. She also explores her complicated feelings towards her ex-husband and the difficulties of maintaining connections through the prison system. Throughout the conversation, Zoe emphasises the crucial role of support systems—therapy, faith, and structured routines—in finding stability amidst chaos. Julia also highlights the importance of allowing space for joy and fun, even in the most stressful times, as part of the journey toward healing. This conversation offers a deep exploration of multi-dimensional grief, the need to adapt to new ways of living, and the powerful resilience required to rebuild and move forward. Support Resources: Children Heard and Seen Sesame Street - Little Kids, Big Challenges Storybook Dads Barnardo's If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a parent’s question on supporting their child through the grief of not having friendships and dealing with the discrepancy between parental expectations and reality. They discuss the emotional difficulties parents face when their children struggle socially, the importance of acknowledging and validating both the parent's and child's feelings, and practical strategies to help the child find social connections. They emphasise the significance of resilience, finding alternative environments for belonging, and role modelling healthy relationships within the family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartwarming episode, Sophie Ellis-Bextor opens up about her diverse roles as a musician, songwriter, podcaster, and mother of five boys. She delves into how music has been a constant, deeply personal passion since childhood, likening its impact to a time portal connecting her with her past selves. The conversation explores her early career highs and lows, her pragmatic and resilient approach to life's challenges, and the importance she places on family and close relationships. Sophie also reflects on how motherhood has influenced her work and vice versa, her structured approach to juggling professional and personal life, and her recent experiences rejuvenating her music career. Sophie also discusses the importance of surrounding oneself with good people, and the wisdom she's gained along the way. Don't miss this candid conversation filled with honesty, joy, and inspiration. 00:35 The Power of Music 03:52 Facing Challenges and Overcoming Adversity 05:32 Early Career and Lessons Learned 07:46 Family Life and Parenting 12:04 Balancing Fame and Core Values 15:18 Navigating Work and Motherhood 21:19 Unexpected Success and Future Plans 23:45 Unpredictable Work and Family Life 24:27 School Closures and Bedroom Changes 25:15 Managing Parental Expectations 25:39 A Call from Elton John 26:45 Balancing Work and Family 27:53 The Joy of Performing 32:41 The Challenge of Engaging Crowds 36:17 Maintaining Perspective and Humility 39:46 The Importance of Friendships 41:02 Wisdom and Reflections Find Sophie: Instagram: @sophieellisbextor Podcast: You can listen to her podcast, Spinning Plates, where she interviews inspiring women about balancing work and family on platforms like Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Music: Stream her music on Spotify and YouTube. If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A listener inquires about reclaiming their sexual self after dedicated years as a single parent of adopted children. The Agony Aunties provide reassuring advice, emphasising that it is never too late. They recommend starting with self-exploration, grieving past losses, and giving oneself permission to pursue sexual pleasure. Several resources are suggested, including the Savage Love cast and books like 'Come As You Are' by Dr. Emily Nogoski and 'Naked at Our Age' by Joan Price. They also suggest engaging in activities that stimulate erotic energy and emphasise self-worth. Link to Maya Angelou's poem 'Phenomenal Woman’: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48985/phenomenal-woman If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartfelt episode, psychotherapist Jenny Gibbs shares her deeply personal story of a life-changing accident just months before her wedding. She recounts her experiences with pain, both physical and psychological, and describes the long journey towards accepting her new reality. Jenny talks about the support systems that helped her, including her work as a therapist, her family, and a significant therapeutic somatic experience. She also reflects on the impact of her accident on her personal relationships and career, ultimately finding meaning and acceptance in her changed circumstances. 01:19 The Life-Changing Accident 03:13 Coping with Disfigurement and Isolation 06:25 The Journey to Acceptance 08:36 The Role of Therapy and Support 10:13 Reflections on Relationships and Identity 13:34 The Healing Process and Moving Forward 20:24 Lessons Learned and Future Outlook 32:42 Embracing Imperfections and Finding Beauty 33:28 The Power of Connection and Loneliness 35:12 Navigating Trauma and Personal Growth 42:16 The Role of Therapy and Emotional Release 45:03 The Impact of Compliments and Praise 48:56 Coping with Public Spaces and Vulnerability 58:32 Reflections on Personal Change and Relationships 01:06:33 The Importance of Acceptance and Moving Forward If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A mother seeks advice from the Agony Aunties on whether to tell her 11-year-old daughter about the father's infidelity, which led to their separation. The Agony Aunties recommend that all children should know the same truth to avoid feelings of exclusion and stress. They suggest that the father might take responsibility for explaining his actions, which can be a healing opportunity. The response emphasises the importance of family transparency, co-parenting, and creating a unified, age-appropriate narrative to maintain healthy relationships and trust within the family. Additional Resources: "Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful" by Ana Nogales: https://amzn.eu/d/aUbg90h This work extensively explores the impact of parental infidelity on children, including their future relationship dynamics. "The Impact of Infidelity on Children's Psychological Development": https://www.researchgate.net/publication/373345867_The_Impact_of_Infidelity_on_Children's_Psychological_Development Listen to Where Shall We Begin? with Esther Perel: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/where-should-we-begin-with-esther-perel/id1237931798 Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Hurt to Healing, Julia welcomes author and journalist Sathnam Sanghera for an insightful discussion on mental health, cultural identity, and navigating personal success. Together, they confront the stigma surrounding severe mental illness, highlighting the importance of open conversation and emotional resilience. Sathnam shares his experience balancing the complexities of his cultural heritage with personal identity, offering a candid look at the psychological challenges of reconciling different parts of oneself, especially in high-achieving environments like Cambridge University. They explore the intricate dance between cultural expectations, family dynamics, and the pressures of shifting social classes. With reflections on parental love, protection, and cultural loyalty, Sathnam and Julia delve into the nuanced journey of identity, belonging, and self-discovery. This compelling episode tackles the intersections of mental health, heritage, and the ever-evolving quest for a sense of home and purpose. Find Sathnam: Website: https://www.sathnam.com/ Instagram: @sathnamsanghera Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A concerned parent expresses guilt and regret over their parenting impact on their teenagers and seeks advice on repairing damaged relationships. The discussion covers the importance of acknowledging past mistakes, seeking forgiveness, and making meaningful changes. It emphasises the significance of personal therapy for self-awareness, validating children's experiences, and maintaining ongoing, honest conversations. A key point is distinguishing between seeking forgiveness from children and forgiving oneself to heal. The conversation highlights the potential for positive transformation and the importance of supportive frameworks like therapy. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this moving episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Lotte Bowser shares her heart-wrenching journey of losing her partner Ben to cancer and COVID-19 complications. She discusses the profound challenges of grief, the impact of his illness and death on her life, and the arduous process of rebuilding her life anew. Lottie reflects on various therapeutic practices, including writing and journalling, which helped her process pain and find a semblance of resolution. The conversation delves into the physical nature of grief, radical self-compassion, and the complexities of starting a new relationship while mourning. Lottie opens up about societal pressures surrounding grief, the duality of life balancing grief and joy, and reentering the dating world. She emphasises the importance of community support, the interplay of sex and death, and the need for sensitivity and understanding from others. This episode offers listeners insights into the enduring nature of grief and the resilience required to embrace new beginnings. 00:35 Facing the Greatest Challenge: Loss of a Partner 03:39 Coping with Grief and Finding Joy 06:22 Rebuilding Life After Loss 11:16 Navigating New Relationships 21:44 Seeking Support and Connection 23:10 Finding Strength in Numbers 24:32 Choosing Life Amidst Grief 24:59 Radical Compassion and Self-Permission 25:30 The Unfixable Nature of Death 27:02 Holding Grief and Joy Simultaneously 27:40 The Taboo of Sex and Grief 31:12 Writing as a Therapeutic Outlet 33:42 Physical Manifestations of Grief 34:46 The Universal Experience of Grief 36:41 The Duality of Bittersweet 38:19 Living Fully After Loss 48:32 The Creative Endeavour of Relationships 50:21 Complexity in Different Types of Bereavement Find Lotte Bowser: Instagram: @lottebowser Read her book, Bittersweet: https://amzn.eu/d/4TMzEmV Listen to her podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4VffRbs0rN3U2BC3qJ8wW1?si=b04773d8c32a4622 Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Agony Aunties offer advice to a mother concerned about her six-year-old daughter's intense emotions and anger. They recommend techniques such as calm discussions, using books, and physical methods like hitting a pillow to help children manage their feelings. They stress the importance of parents modelling emotional regulation and self-compassion. Additionally, they introduce a daily practice called 'rose, bud, and thorn' to enhance emotional intelligence and gratitude. Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this interview, Jane Garvey discusses her expansive career in radio broadcasting, from being the first voice on BBC Radio 5 Live to her long tenure at Woman's Hour, and her current role at Times Radio. Jane shares insights into her personal life, particularly her experiences as a single parent and the unique challenges it brought. She highlights the emotional and psychological load of single parenting, emphasising the advantage of having resources and support. The conversation also navigates her career trajectory, public recognition, and work-life balance, particularly through transitions and public interactions. Moreover, Jane reflects on mentoring in media, feminism, and her personal growth, including her significant role during a live broadcast on September 11, 2001. Additionally, she dives into her close professional relationship with Fi Glover and the impact and reception of their successful podcast, Off Air with Jane and Fi. 01:24 Challenges of Single Parenting 03:52 Reflections on Parenting and Family 18:04 Career Beginnings and Aspirations 28:44 Navigating Public and Private Life as a Single Mum 29:12 The Role of Radio in Personal and Public Life 31:41 The Psyche of Broadcasters 38:14 The Impact of Major Events on Broadcasting 41:34 The Evolution of Female Broadcasters 45:44 Reflections on Career and Personal Dreams 48:50 Parenting Challenges and Societal Expectations 50:34 The Importance of Honest Conversations 59:45 The Good Enough Parent Listen to Off Air with Jane and Fi: https://open.spotify.com/show/4fIthFOvAaPBVf5NWyz8Sl Follow Jane and Fi on Instagram: @janeandfi Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk. Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, we sit down with Michelle and Richard, who share their incredibly painful journey of losing their five year old son Rudy to a brain tumor. We’ll talk about our reflections on love, loss, and the balance between treatment and quality of life. They’re both very open about the impact this had on their family, including their daughter Elodie, and the crucial support of community and healthcare professionals. And, what’s very inspiring, is how much they were able to handle the loss and the aftermath with such grace. It’s truly impressive. For our Mother/Daughter segment, Emily, Sophie and I will all delve into the emotional and physical realities of grief, while also celebrating the enduring spirit of love that remains. If you like this episode, and want to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my new website - https://www.juliasamuel.co.uk Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we have a very interesting question from a viewer who is struggling with a sexless marriage. The discussion explores the complexities of emotional and physical intimacy, communication challenges with a partner, and potential solutions such as open relationships, which were once unspeakable, but now are gaining more common ground. The conversation delves into societal norms surrounding sex, the stigma of higher female libido, and alternative ways to maintain connection. We also emphasize the importance of exploring underlying issues with professional guidance. Altogether, we - as always - encourages open, honest conversation where we can acknowledge various perspectives on maintaining fulfilling relationships. Also, these are just our thoughts on the matter. We'd really love to hear yours, especially because this is a difficult topic to bring up. I've been very open in talking about grief and loss, which are very difficult to discuss, and I also know that discussing sexuality is a very difficult topic as well. For some, it's too difficult to discuss. If you're open to it, I'd be very interested in hearing how this episode resonated with you. What are your thoughts here? Show Notes: If this topic interests you, a great book on Attachment Styles in Open Relationships is “Polysecure” by Jessica Fern - https://amzn.eu/2hHCCaK Emily mentioned Dan Savage’s podcast. You can find it here - https://savage.love/lovecast/ And I mentioned Esther Perel’s podcast too - https://www.estherperel.com/podcast Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my new website - https://www.juliasamuel.co.uk Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to the Therapy Works podcast! We're starting Season 7 with a very special guest, James Middleton, as he opens up about the challenges he faced with dyslexia, self-doubt, and depression. He discusses the impact of societal expectations, the feeling of being a 'square peg in a round hole', and the eventual breakdown that led him to contemplate suicide. James reflects on the pivotal role his dog Ella played in his recovery, providing him with unconditional love and a renewed sense of purpose. The conversation highlights the importance of speaking out, seeking help, and the transformative power of animal companionship in mental health recovery. Tune in to hear James's heartfelt story, the significant support from his family, and the insights he gained on his path to healing. Show Notes You can check out James’ Book here Or find him on Instagram (with many great pictures with his dogs) - Emily mentioned a couple of resources, which I’d like to share here: Team Square Peg / Not Fine in School Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips And for more info, check out my new website Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're almost ready to start with Season 7 of the Therapy Works podcast, and until then, I've been looking back at some of my favorite moments in the show's history. I can't help but remember this episode with Annabel Croft, where we discuss how one copes after losing a partner, focusing on finding joy, meaning, and connection through everyday activities and family support. We'll also touch on the importance of talking about the deceased, understanding different grieving processes, and the emotional challenges of handling a loved one's ashes while finding the right time to make decisions about them. See you next week for the start of Season 7! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

While we're getting ready for Season 7 of the Therapy Works podcast, we're sharing some of our favorite moments throughout the years. Here's a small section from my talk with Helena Bonham Carter, as we discuss the risks and trust involved in their profession and how years of experience help in quickly recovering from setbacks. We'll talk about the joys of embodying different personas, the importance of playfulness, and the diverse roles they balance in life. We touch on coping mechanisms like laughter and not taking life too seriously, even amidst challenges like lockdown and self-criticism. The episode also highlights the significance of multi-faceted identities, dealing with internal critics, and maintaining core self-confidence in a demanding career. If you liked this part, you'll love the full episode. Watch it here. If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips And for more info, check out my website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we're ramping up for Season 7 of Therapy Works, I wanted to share some of my favorite moments from our past episodes. In this episode with Trinny Woodall, we explore the emotional challenges of major life transitions, particularly when children leave home. Trinny reflects on the concept of a blended family and its deep personal significance. She shares her journey of coping with the impending departure of her daughter, Lyla, and the emotional aftermath of a car accident. We'll talk about themes of loss, responsibility, and the paradoxical theory of change, emphasizing the importance of acceptance and self-awareness. If you liked this episode, you can see the full episode here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKkbGfxubmQ Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we've just finished Season 6 of Therapy Works, we wanted to share some of our favorite parts from past episodes. Here's part of my talk with Charles Spencer, where he opens up about how he started to uncover parts of his past. Watch the full episode here - https://youtu.be/R7YZHcLhrF8 If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special episode of Therapy Works, we're joined by Dr. Sheila Redfern, a clinical psychologist with 30 years of experience working with young people and their families. Sheila discusses the challenges and intricacies of parenting adolescents, particularly focusing on understanding behaviors through the lens of mentalization. Sheila's new book, 'How Do You Hug a Cactus?' provides practical and insightful guidance on maintaining close relationships with teenagers. Explore how mentalizing can transform parent-teen relationships, the importance of self-reflection for parents, and how to navigate the complexities of a child's inner world. Show Notes: If you found this topic interesting, you’ll love Sheila’s book, “How Do You Huge a Cactus” If you’d like to get in contact with Sheila, you can find out more on her website - https://redfernpsychology.org On the topic of parenting, I’ve been writing some articles about parenting adult children over on my Substack. If this subject interests you, I think you might be interested in these as well - https://juliasamuel.substack.com/p/parenting-adult-children If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week's episode of the Therapy Works podcast, we sit down with Mimi Kwa, an Australian presenter, broadcaster, and author of 'House of Kwa'. Mimi opens up about her journey through familial challenges, including being sued by her own father in the Supreme Court, dealing with her mother's undiagnosed schizophrenia, and her path to mindfulness. We explore the impact of intergenerational trauma, the process of forgiveness, and her experiences across three different homes. Mimi's story is a testament to resilience and the power of inner healing. Don't miss this profound conversation, rich with insights on culture, family dynamics, and personal growth. Show Notes: You can find Mimi's book, "House of Kwa" here - https://amzn.eu/d/cRyOK3h And you can learn more about her on her website - https://www.mimitv.com.au/ Also, in the Mother/Daughter section, Emily mentions the Forgiveness Project. Check it out here - https://www.theforgivenessproject.com If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It seems like the world is falling apart, and we’re destroying the climate. Is it responsible for us to still have children? For this week’s Agony Aunties,, we take on this question from a listener inspired by our podcast with Christiana Figueiras. We’ll dive into this existential dilemma, exploring the balance between the responsibilities and joys of parenthood versus the potential environmental impact and uncertain future. We’ll discuss the importance of acknowledging the real fear and anxiety the younger generation feels, the need for a mindset shift towards abundance and creativity, and the significance of making decisions from a place of security rather than fear. The conversation also touches on broadening the concept of family and considering various ways of being a parent. At least, these are our thoughts. How does this resonate with you? How do you feel about bringing children into this world? This seems to be a question that people regularly ask, and were asked after the great wars as well. And so, if now’s not the time to have children, then when? If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, Martine Wright, MBE, shares her incredible journey of resilience and transformation, from surviving the 7/7 London bombings to becoming a Paralympian.  Martine recounts the day that changed her life, her struggles in the aftermath, and the unwavering support from her family and guardian angels. She opens up about how she found new life and meaning through sport, and emphasizes the importance of kindness, support, and a positive mindset in overcoming trauma.  It’s truly amazing how glass-half-full Martine’s experience has been.  Join us as we dive into her lessons of courage, hope, and the unexpected gifts that come from facing life's extreme challenges. Show Notes: You can find out more about Martine and her story over on her website - https://martinewright.co.uk And you can read her book, Unbroken, here - https://amzn.eu/d/bWD6R7W In the Mother/Daughter section, Emily mentioned the Moth Podcast.  You can find it here - https://themoth.org/podcast Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special edition of Therapy Works, we’re talking with Zoe Blaskey, a mother of two, coach, and founder of the MotherKind podcast, and we’re discussing her new book 'MotherKind: A New Way to Thrive in a World of Endless Expectations.' She shares her motivations for writing the book, emphasizing the need for a consolidated resource for parents facing modern-day challenges. Zoe explores various topics such as the transition into motherhood, the concept of 'matrescence,' and the different pressures faced by mothers and fathers. She delves into the importance of self-compassion, managing the trio of guilt, shame, and perfectionism while offering practical tools to support parents. The episode also touches on the complexities of working motherhood, the significance of community support, and the evolving perspectives on parenting. Resources: You can find out more about Zoe on her website - https://www.motherkind.co/ And find her new book here - https://amzn.eu/d/7tAAhdy If you’re on Instagram, you can follow her here - https://www.instagram.com/zoeblaskey/ If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, we sit down with Poorna Bell, esteemed freelance journalist, author, and broadcaster, as she shares her profoundly moving story. Poorna discusses the challenges of feeling worthy of romantic love, primarily as the result of her husband's suicide, and how she found strength through powerlifting and jiu-jitsu. We’ll also discuss her decision not to have children, as Poorna offers insights into navigating cultural expectations and personal fulfillment. Join us as we explore vulnerability, resilience, and the journey to self-acceptance. Resources: You can find out more about Poorna Bell from her website - https://www.poornabell.com/home And you can check out her latest book, “this is fine” here - https://amzn.eu/d/brni7ju Otherwise, we mentioned Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide. You can find them here - https://uksobs.com If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode of Agony Aunties, we respond to a listener's question about handling a 16-year-old's extreme emotional reactions and difficulty expressing feelings. Our discussion covers understanding teenage behavior, fostering open communication, and offering practical advice on connecting with teens. We emphasize the importance of meeting teens where they are and exploring their inner worlds without imposing worries about their future. Show Notes: Emily mentioned Lisa Damoure. You can find her here - https://www.instagram.com/lisa.damour/ Here’s the book Emily mentioned as well - https://amzn.eu/d/f4x1lzN Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, Uju Asika joins to discuss her inspiring journey as a writer and blogger, parent and daughter. Known for her impactful books, Uju opens up about the challenges of parenting in a complex world, facing racism as a child, and the profound grief of losing her parents. She explores how these experiences have shaped her mission to foster kindness and empathy in raising boys and addressing race. The conversation offers deep insights into navigating life's adversities and the importance of empathy, along with some new ways to think about how to connect with our inner child, and why there tends to be some resistance in doing so. Tune in for a powerful discussion on resilience, diversity, and creating a better world for future generations. Show Notes: Find out more about Uju on her website - https://ujuasika.com And check out her book “Bringing Up Race: How to Raise a Kind Child in a Prejudiced World” - https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/bringing-up-race-how-to-raise-a-kind-child-in-a-prejudiced-world-uju-asika/4812827?ean=9781529368727 Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week's episode of Agony Aunties, we address a viewer's concern about her husband's consistent failure to acknowledge her birthday meaningfully, delving into the possible roots of his behavior stemming from his childhood. We'll explore the psychological implications of gift-giving, offer practical advice on how to communicate and understand these emotional blocks, and suggest alternative ways to ensure her birthday feels special. How does this resonate with you? What is your experience of giving and receiving gifts? Do you feel pressured by gift giving, or disappointed by it? We'd love to hear what your experience is like. Let us know in the comments. Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Therapy Works, we welcome actor, writer, and campaigner Greg Wise, as he delves into his varied roles and identities, his profound experiences with grief, and the transformative power of awe and creativity. He shares his personal journey of caring for his sister during her terminal illness, the impact of generational trauma, and the continuous work required for personal growth. The conversation also touches on Greg's new venture into writing about grief and the importance of therapy in processing pain and finding joy. In the Mother/Daughter segment, Emily and Sophie reflect on Greg's insights and explore themes of creativity, openness, and the cyclical patterns of trauma. Show Notes: Check out Greg's new book Not That Kind of Love - https://amzn.eu/d/0aMLPAmX And you can follow Greg Wise on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gregwiseofficial/ Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join us for today's episode where we discuss life after chronic illness recovery. We discuss the emotional and psychological transitions involved, especially in terms of trust in this new change. We'll also discuss practices on how to feel safe in this new stage of life, and how to embody the change. Let us know what you think! If you have dealt with long term illness, and were able to get to a place of recovery, what was that transition like for you? Have you been able to connect with a sense of safety? What has changed for you, in terms of how you process the world and your experience of it? Show Notes: I mentioned Deb Dana’s Glimmers. I write more about them in this week’s newsletter, and the five steps to a Glimmer Practice, so you can really saturate in them more. Check it out here - https://juliasamuel.substack.com/p/developing-your-glimmer-practice Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Therapy Works, we are honored to have Christiana Figueres, an internationally recognized leader on climate change and former executive secretary of the UNFCCC. Christiana shares her insights on the importance of balancing awareness of climate challenges with a sense of agency and optimism. We discuss her personal journey, the impact of impermanence on her life, and how love and courage can drive effective climate action. In the Mother/Daughter section, we explore our own experiences and discuss practical steps and emotional strategies for engaging with climate issues in a meaningful way. Resources: For starters, find out more about Christiana Figueres over on her website - http://christianafigueres.com/ You can find her podcast, Outrage and Optimism here - https://www.outrageandoptimism.org/episodes And her book, The Future We Choose, is available here - https://www.globaloptimism.com/the-future-we-choose In the Mother/Daughter part of this episode, Sophie shares how she’s going to be writing a series of newsletters on Substack about how to talk about the Climate Crisis with your children.  It’s aimed to be released in September.  Until then, you can find our newsletter here - https://substack.com/@juliasamuel Christiana was very inspired by Plum Village and Thich Nhat Hanh.  You can find out more about their message here - https://plumvillage.uk Here’s the episode Sophie mentioned with Krista Tippett and Christiana Figueres - https://onbeing.org/programs/christiana-figueres-ecological-hope-and-spiritual-evolution/ And here’s the other episode she mentioned from Therapist Uncensored - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?i=1000626570204 Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Therapy Works podcast, I speak to Kate Silverton, a renowned broadcaster turned child therapist. We delve into a deeply personal and intimate conversation about navigating public and personal lives, overcoming complex childhood traumas, and the transformative power of therapy. Kate shares her journey from experiencing severe trauma in childhood to finding peace and healing through therapy. She discusses the challenges and triumphs of her career, her significant relationships, and her mission to break the cycle of trauma for future generations through her work with children and her books. We also explore the importance of self-soothing, emotional regulation, and the impact of healthy relationships. Show Notes: Find out more about Kate Silverton and her work over on her website - https://www.katesilverton.com And find her on Instagram here - https://www.instagram.com/katesilverton Find her books: https://linktr.ee/theresnosuchthingasnaughtybook Here’s the podcast Em mentioned - https://drchatterjee.com/how-our-childhood-shapes-every-aspect-of-our-health-with-dr-gabor-mate/ And here’s the Therapy uncensored podcast Sophie talked about - https://open.spotify.com/show/2Cv0V85tssliSL8wz7gVWm Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week's Agony Aunties episode, we address a heartfelt question from a viewer struggling with divorce grief five years after the fact. The viewer shares their deep regret after leaving their son's father for someone they now realize was not right for them. This decision has brought financial difficulties and emotional pain for themselves, their son, and their. Despite wishing they could turn back time to make different choices, they're seeking advice on how to cope with their current situation. Tune in for a compassionate discussion on navigating the tumultuous emotions of regret and finding a path forward. We’re going to talk about self-compassion, and about acknowledging that our choices were the best ones we could make at the time.  At least, that’s what’s alive in us as we’re discussing this question.  What do you think?  How does this question resonate with you?  Do you think about any decisions that you regret making? Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s episode of Therapy Works, we’re speaking with Becky Excell, a gluten free influencer, as she opens up about her eating disorder, how it impacted her friends and family, and what it took to finally get her to change.  We’ll discuss how some approaches of help actually caused more harm, how the expected norms of university life can lead to challenges, and how Becky has found a path forward that helps people who also have challenges with food, even though it’s coming at a new cost.   When we get to the Mother/Daughter section of the episode, we’ll talk about how we as a family experienced eating disorders as well, and what helped us tremendously during this time.  We mentioned that we’ll be sharing resources in the show notes, so if you’re at all interested, do check out: Beat Eating Disorders - https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk SWEDA - https://swedauk.org The Maudsley Model - https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/therapies/maudsley-method Young Minds - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/eating-disorders/ And here’s the book Emily talked about - https://amzn.eu/d/00gVlWXz Along with a list of other books you might find useful - https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/downloads-resources/helpful-books/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's Agony Aunties episode, we explore a recurring theme in relationships where one often feels they give more than they receive. We’ll delve into the emotional pain that stems from a consistent sense of not being seen and receiving less than what one asks for. We’ll also look into whether this pattern might be rooted in past experiences and how to address these deep-seated feelings by examining our subconscious mind. Let us know what you think!  Have you noticed any recurring patterns in your relationships?  And if you have a question you’d like us to cover for Agony Aunties, we’d be happy to hear them. Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s episode of Therapy Works, we’re speaking Esther Stamp, whose husband Darren was falsely accused of inappropriately touching a student, and who has been found not guilty in a court of law. Esther shares her story about the whole process, what happened to her and her family and children. She shares a story about the beautiful power of a caring community in such a touching way, and talks about the support of a community coming together for someone in need of help. She’ll also talk about the trial process for Darren, and what life is like now afterwards, and how - sadly - there’s still a lot to go before the dust settles. I fund Esther’s story very moving. How did you feel hearing it? What are your thoughts? Do let me know in the comments below. Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s Agony Aunties, we’re talking about how to relate to our inner Shitty Committee, when we have some thoughts in us that are self-critical, or just not in alignment with our values.  While the question didn’t necessarily ask about how to relate to the Committee, but asked more about how to silence them, we’re talking about a different way to approach these thoughts, with some more curiosity, some more acceptance, with viewing them as part of our Internal Family System. If you have a different way that you relate with your inner thoughts, please do share!  And if you have a question you’d like us to cover for Agony Aunties, we’d be happy to hear them. Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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In this week's episode of Agony Aunties, we're addressing a listener's heartfelt question about re-grieving her father's death after hearing news about the contaminated blood inquiry, which her father received and passed away from. We'll explore the psychological impact of triggers, the importance of expressing anger, how when we pay attention to something we find it popping up more often in our lives, and ways to take care of oneself while processing deeply personal and painful experiences. Join us as we navigate the complexities of grief, trauma, and finding a path forward. P.S. In these answers we are sharing what’s top of mind for us. We would love to keep the conversation going. Have you had any experiences similar to what Emily mentioned, where what you’re thinking about a lot lately you happen to see around you more often? Do share! And if you have any questions you’d like us to tackle for the next Agony Aunties, do share! Resources If you’re dealing with grief, I created a program that I really put a lot of effort into, and one that I think really can help. Hopefully, you find it useful - https://illumeapps.com/griefworks/ Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're starting off Season 6 of Therapy Works with a wonderful talk with Jake Humphrey. Join us as we explore Jake's varied career as a sports presenter, businessman, and podcaster. Through this enriching conversation, Jake shares insights on balancing success with personal life, family values, and his mental health journey. We dive into the beauty of ordinary life, the importance of vulnerability, and finding joy in simple moments. Discover how sharing our deepest fears can lead to healing and connection, and learn from Jake's experiences of resilience amidst life's pressures. Resources If you found this conversation interesting, you can find Jake Humphrey’s work in many places, including: Twitter/X - https://x.com/mrjakehumphrey High Performance Podcast - https://podfollow.com/highperformance Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jakehumphrey/ Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re addressing a listener's question about the fear of their child, particularly during the teenage years.  We’ll discuss the power dynamics between parents and children, the emotional challenges of parenting, and strategies for maintaining calm and establishing boundaries. We’ll also dig into how personal childhood experiences can influence parental fears, as well as the importance of repair and trust in parent-child relationships.  Tune in for an insightful discussion on the complexities of parenting and overcoming fear. As well, we’re only sharing what’s top of mind for us in these answers, and we’d love to keep the conversation going.  Do you have any frameworks you use, perhaps similar to Sophie’s, in how you show up for your children?  I’d love to know.  And if you have any questions you’d like us to tackle for the next Agony Aunties, do share! Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s bonus episode of the Therapy Works Podcast, we’re featuring psychotherapist and founder of Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj Kaur Kohli. In this episode, Sahaj delves into her journey as a daughter of Indian immigrants in the United States, her professional and personal challenges, and the cultural straddling that influences her work with clients. She shares insights on navigating mental health, identity, and transgenerational trauma while discussing her new book, 'But What Will People Say?' and the importance of healing through cultural sensitivity and curiosity. Discover how Sahaj blends her bicultural experience in her therapeutic practice and offers invaluable advice for children of immigrants and their families. Dive into the conversation and explore Sahaj's story and expertise, filled with relatable experiences and professional wisdom Resources You can learn more about Sahaj Kaur Kohli, and get her book, on her website - https://sahajkaurkohli.com/book For those of you on Instagram, check out her profile over at - https://www.instagram.com/browngirltherapy/ Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode of Agony Aunties, we're addressing a listener's question about not feeling anything. We'll discuss the potential link between numbness and depression, recommend ways to explore and understand this emotional state, and emphasize the importance of professional help. We'll also talk about holistic lifestyle changes and the value of communicating your feelings to those close to you. Resources: I mentioned that I’ll be sharing an online test, for those of you who are interested in their emotional wellbeing.  You can find it here - https://checkwellbeing.leadershipacademy.nhs.uk/ Otherwise, if you have any questions, send me a message on my Instagram - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ For more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this very engaging conversation, Jonathan Haidt, Professor of Ethical Leadership at the Stern School in New York, discusses his latest book “The Anxious Generation” where he goes into the significant impact digital devices and social media have on the younger generation, particularly the broader implications of technology on children's development, mental health, and social interactions. Highlighting four foundational rules for healthier childhoods, Haidt emphasizes the urgent need for collective action among parents, schools, and governments to mitigate the adverse effects of a digital upbringing and restore a play-based, real-world childhood that fosters resilience and social competence. Resources: For starters, you’re going to love “The Anxious Generation” - https://www.anxiousgeneration.com If you’re interested in taking action, we mentioned a few websites you can check out, namely:  http://letgrow.org http://anxiousgeneration.com http://smartphonefreechildhood.co.uk http://delaysmartphones.org Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s Agony Aunties, we address a listener's concern about feeling numb after the recent death of their mother. We’ll talk about the stereotypes of what people think grief looks like, and then address the shock and emotional numbness that often follows sudden loss, along with the adaptation process during mourning, and when it might be necessary to seek professional help. We’ll also talk about the importance of proper support systems, the timing of therapeutic interventions, and accessible resources for those dealing with grief. Resources: I’ve created an app to help people navigate Grief, called Grief Works. I think it can be very useful in helping work through grief and its many stages. Please find a link to download it here - https://illumeapps.com/griefworks/ Please follow me on Instagram - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ For more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

While we’re preparing for Season 6 of Therapy Works, we have a special expert episode we wanted to share between Emily and Satya Doyle Byock, a psychotherapist from Portland and author of the book 'Quarter Life: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood.” Satya explains the concept of the 'quarter life' phase, identifying it as the first stage of adulthood between adolescence and midlife, and discusses the unique challenges faced during this period. She shares her motivation for writing the book, rooted in her personal struggles and professional experiences, which I’m sure many of us can relate to as well. The conversation delves into the societal expectations, psychological development, and family dynamics that impact individuals in their twenties and thirties, and also discusses how we usually talk about this stage of life, which - oftentime - isn’t met with a lot of compassion or patience. Emily and Satya also discuss the importance of ritual, and the role of therapy in navigating this critical life stage, and the importance of understanding and supporting this majorly transformative phase of our lives. 00:00 Welcome and Introduction to Doyle Byock and His Book on Quarter Life 00:39 Defining Quarter Life and Its Importance 01:26 The Struggles of Quarter Lifers and the Lack of Societal Language 03:20 Generational Perspectives and Misunderstandings 05:05 The Four Pillars of Growth in Quarter Life 12:05 The Meaning vs. Stability Framework 20:03 The Role of Parents and Society in Navigating Quarter Life 24:21 The Power of Therapy and Self-Exploration 26:39 Closing Thoughts and the Impact of Supporting Quarter Lifers Resources: If this conversation resonated with you, and you’d like to find ways to understand the quarter-life experience from a different angle, check out Satya’s book “Quarter Life: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood” - https://satyabyock.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, a listener is asking us for healthy ways to move forward after the early death of a brother, who died from addiction, and whose death caused major challenges for the entire family. Let’s begin by saying that there are no quick and easy ways to answer this in a video. This is a profound, life changing challenge, and we really encourage seeking individual therapy, and to explore how the addiction impacted everyone’s relationships, as well as discussing these difficult topics with children to help them understand and process their feelings. We’d also like to emphasise self-compassion here, to cope with shame and self-judgment, as there is a major stigma around dying early from addiction, and processing it is not going to be easy. We also go on to suggest that connecting with groups and others who have gone through similar losses can aid in the healing process. Thank you to whoever sent this question in. We’re so sorry to hear about the challenges you’re going through, and we’re really happy that you reached out to speak about it. We hope this helped, in some small way. Thank you for submitting your questions, and for giving us a chance to help provide some advice. If you have a question, please DM me at @juliasamuelmbe or email jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s episode of Therapy Works, we’re having a special talk about Mental Health Awareness Week, which - this year - is focusing on the theme of movement and its significance in mental health. We have a lot to say on the subject, including some of the language we want to share around Mental Health awareness, and how people are identifying with different states of mental health. If describing the state of our mental health is difficult to verbalise, writing can reveal to us the parts that we keep hidden and unvocalised. On the theme of movement, we’ll talk about how it can unlock one of the most powerful medicines, as well as making sure we explore our relationship with movement overall. If we’re avoiding it, why is that? And if we’re exercising in order to avoid something else that we’re trying not to feel, that’s something to bring awareness to as well. Also we all find excuses to not do any movement, but it doesn’t have to be high intensity exercise, it can be as small as little walks to break up the day or as Sophie says a little boogie when doing the washing up! Resources: To learn more about Mental Health Awareness Week, check out - https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/public-engagement/mental-health-awareness-week Otherwise, if you’re in London and want to dance, here’s Pineapple Studios - https://www.pineapple.uk.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re answering a question from someone struggling after a recent breakup and full of fear of relapsing into a previous nervous breakdown. If we go through a really challenging ordeal post breakup, it would make sense that we’d be afraid of how we will be in the future, if another breakup occurs. What’s important to note is that we’re all different people now than we were before. And so, how you’ll process a future challenge isn’t the same way you’ve handled a past challenge. With that being said, we’d also like to acknowledge grief as a natural process, which often involves the full spectrum of emotions. For future challenges, we recommend practicing self-care in many forms, such as seeking therapy, journaling, and spending time with loved ones who provide positive reflections of ourselves. We’ll talk about all of this and more in this week’s episode. Thank you for submitting your questions, and for giving us a chance to help provide some advice. If you have a question, please DM me at @juliasamuelmbe or email jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we’re preparing for Season 6 of the Therapy Works podcast, I wanted to share a special episode here where I spoke with Rahul Jandial, famous Neuroscientist, speaker, author, and friend. Rahul is a dual-trained neurosurgeon and neurobiologist, and the author of “This is Why You Dream” which is what we spend most of our time discussing. We get in depth about how dreams reflect our waking life, the interconnectedness of dreams, creativity, and the human brain. Rahul shares insights on the science of dreaming, its effects on problem-solving and creativity, and the impact of dreams across various stages of life including the significance of erotic dreams and nightmares. The conversation also touches on the exploration of the dreaming brain's activities, the interpretation of dreams, and the profound relationship between dreaming and death. This conversation was so delightful to have. Being able to talk for so long about the importance of dreaming was utterly fascinating for me, and I hope you find it fascinating as well. Apologies for the audio quality, as we faced considerable technical difficulties. If you’re interested in the topic of dreaming, I know you’re going to love Rahul’s new book “This is Why You Dream,” which you can find here:- https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/454635/this-is-why-you-dream-by-jandial-rahul/9781529909449 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com/therapyworks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s Agony Aunties episode, we were asked how to handle mood swings. And to answer that, as usual in these episodes, we have a few different angles to approach. The first thing we suggest is to bring awareness to the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems within us, and to ground our approach towards mood regulation in the physical. If our bodies and nervous systems are dysregulated, we can experience a range of affective states, both positive and negative, and so finding ways to regulate ourselves first - be it through rest, diet, or exercise - is one approach to settle the body and to manage these mood swings. We also recommend a sense of self-compassion here, as there are negative connotations to mood swings, and we hope that you don’t adopt any self-blaming language while trying to regulate your nervous system, but to approach your needs with a sense of softness and care. And, as always, we thank you for your questions here and for your prompts to these conversations. We really enjoy exploring these topics with you, so do please keep sending in your questions, and we’ll do our best to answer as many of them as we can. Please email your questions to jsamuelpod@gmail.com or DM Julia on her Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we just wrapped up Season 5, and we’re ramping up for Season 6, I’d like to share with you a bonus episode with you all this week. Emily speaks to Josephine Hughes, who shares her deeply personal experience as the mother of two transgender daughters. She discusses the initial shock and adjustment period after her daughters came out, the challenges they faced, and the broader societal reactions. Josephine emphasises the importance of parental support and understanding through this transformative journey. She also touches on the misconceptions and struggles associated with transgender identity and how it affects both the individual and their family. Through her narrative, Josephine provides insight and guidance to other parents navigating similar experiences, advocating for acceptance and informed support. Resources: Josephine’s Podcast - https://gloriouslyunready.com And here’s the handout she mentioned in the episode:- https://gloriouslyunready.com/transgender/ DISCLAIMER: We are psychotherapists and are not in the position to provide medical advice. If you require support for you or your children, please find more advice here: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/sex-relationships/gender-identity/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, a new therapist asks how she can help her clients develop more self-esteem. And while the three of us practice differently with our clients, what we all agree on is the importance of exploring the client’s relationship with their self-esteem. Where does that struggle with come from? Adding some context to the moments of struggles with self-esteem, especially through practices of mindfulness and journaling, can be helpful for us to notice when our esteem is suffering, and - moreso - when these challenging thoughts arise, we can also choose to not overly identify with them.We’ll talk about this and more in this week’s episode. I hope you find it helpful. If you have any questions you’d like us to answer, please do send them over, as we love taking on your suggestions and seeing what the three of us come up with. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special episode, I’m delighted to be speaking with Caitlin Moran seeing as my daughters and I are huge fans of her writing. In this episode, she reflects on her tough upbringing and speaks about the power and joy she found with words. She also shares her opinions on masculinity and the challenges men face in society. With her characteristic humour and sharp wit, Caitlin discusses the cultural and personal implications of men's roles, offering a fresh perspective on what it means to navigate manhood in today's world. Key Points Discussed: The Power of Words: As Caitlin is a very skilled and prolific writer, she shares her love of writing, the power of writing, and how us finding the language to express ourselves can impact the world. The Language We Use Around Children: Caitlin offers her thoughts on how younger generations are facing challenges, especially after hearing how the adults around them speak about the state of the world. Masculinity in Crisis: Caitlin explores the crisis of masculinity, noting how societal expectations and traditional roles can lead to emotional suppression among men, resulting in a range of mental health issues. Impact of Feminism on Men: She discusses the impact of feminism on men, arguing that while feminism has empowered women, it has also inadvertently highlighted the lack of emotional tools available to men, contributing to a generational disconnect. I really enjoyed this conversation and found myself laughing a lot with Caitlin. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did!  Resources: Get Caitlin’s new book, now in paperback: “What About Men?” - https://amzn.eu/d/cSlWgWt American Institute for Boys and Men - https://aibm.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, a listener asks an important question: how can they be happy when someone in their family is deeply depressed? And so, to answer this, we’re not going to discuss what the listener can do to fix their family member’s problems, even though that might be the urge that arises in us instantly. Instead, we’ll talk about ideas of codependency, and highlight the importance of not anchoring our emotional wellbeing on the state of other’s. Finding ways to take care of ourselves is very important, so that we can be better resourced. We’re not going to help our depressed family member by getting depressed as well, and it can be very easy to catch the emotions of others. So,  please make sure that you’re finding ways to find your own happiness as well. Resources mentioned: Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - https://www.thecalmzone.net Mind - https://www.mind.org.uk Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/ Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, Heather shares the deeply emotional and challenging journey of raising her daughter, Lizzie, who has profound and multiple learning disabilities. Heather's story is one of love, loss, resilience, and the constant navigation of a life profoundly different from what she once envisioned. Through her journey with Lizzie, Heather illuminates the deep, often unspoken realities faced by families navigating similar paths. Key Points Discussed: Living with Profound Disabilities: Heather describes Lizzie's condition, underscoring the daily realities of caring for someone who is entirely dependent on others for their needs, coupled with the significant intellectual disabilities that shape their interactions with the world. Grief and Acceptance: The conversation delves into the grief that accompanies the loss of the life Heather expected for Lizzie and herself, and how acceptance and acknowledgment of this grief have been crucial for moving forward. Finding Meaning and Coping: Heather reflects on how acknowledging Lizzie's condition and the accompanying challenges have allowed her to find meaning, cope better, and thus provide better care. Community and Representation: Highlighting the importance of representation and community support, Heather discusses the value of connecting with others who understand their family's experience and the ongoing battle for visibility and understanding in a broader societal context. This episode stands as a powerful testament to the complexities of love, the weight of unfulfilled expectations, and the strength found in community and understanding. Heather's insights offer invaluable perspectives for anyone seeking to understand the nuances of caring for a loved one with profound disabilities. Read Heather's letter to Lizzie: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QjCGIa85aS_8jBUQUbKCdi1F0aakf1RkwvIIZQQavH4/edit?usp=sharing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re answering a viewer who is struggling with their 10-year-old daughter's dislike for their new partner. We’ll talk about how to empathise with the complexity of the situation, and we’ll offer some insights and advice on handling such family dynamics. The daughter’s resistance might stem from feelings of loss and change rather than a genuine dislike for the new partner. Another important point is to ensure continued one-on-one time with the daughter, to maintain open and non-judgmental communication, and to slowly integrate the new partner without forcing acceptance. It’s important to allowing the daughter to express her feelings and fears about the new family dynamic, and for the parent to with manage their expectations for the transition period. Growth is non-linear, after all. And on that note, if you’re interested in more discussions about blended family dynamics, here’s the podcast Emily mentioned - https://open.spotify.com/show/2olc42wsIsoLyGuqrAYQns If you have any questions for the Agony Aunties then please do email them to jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Dr. Rachel Clarke shares her journey through the peaks of the COVID-19 pandemic, her transition from journalism to palliative care medicine, and her ongoing advocacy for better end-of-life care. Reflecting on the paradox of human existence—the intertwining of love, death, and the essence of being—she discusses the daily challenges within the NHS, the psychological cost of providing care in an overburdened system, and the deeply personal impact of her father's passing. Key Points Discussed: Navigating NHS Challenges: Rachel details the struggle of providing compassionate care during Covid and emphasises the psychological toll it had on her and the healthcare professionals she knows. Personal Growth Through Adversity: She reflects on her path from philosophy to medicine, highlighting how facing death and vulnerability has shaped her perspective on life and her practice in palliative care. For someone that’s confronted by death so often, hearing Rachel’s perspective on death, and outlook on life, is enlightening. The Power of Human Connection: Rachel shares insights on the significance of sincerity and presence in the face of mortality, underscoring the importance of embracing life's dualities. When we are on our deathbeds, we don’t regret not sending more emails or earning more money. What matters to us most is the connections we have. Legacy and Advocacy: Through her books and involvement in healthcare debates, she advocates for systemic change, particularly in palliative care, driven by her experiences and the profound lessons learned from the dying. This episode underscores the importance of compassion, resilience, and the pursuit of meaning amidst life's greatest challenges.  If you’d like to know more about Dr Rachel Clarke’s experience, you can find her book “Breath taking” on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Breathtaking-UKs-human-story-Covid/dp/0349144567/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of "Agony Aunties," our discussion focuses on a parent finding their purpose as their children have grow up and left home. And so, we’ll talk about the importance of starting with self-awareness and exploration, and how mindfulness can help, along with small steps towards activities that bring joy or spark curiosity. On a broader scope, we’ll also talk about a concept that we’ve covered a few times already - the fertile void - where we transition from the end of one major undertaking to another. And we’ll also mention the importance of self-compassion at this time, and how it might be useful to look for inspiration from others' paths. Resources: Here’s more from Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, Lily Pickard shares her heart-wrenching journey through her husband Cole's terminal cancer diagnosis, the emotional upheaval it brought to their family, and the profound loss felt after his passing. She discusses the importance of hope, humour, and community support in navigating such a devastating experience, offering insights into the complexities of grief, parenting through loss, the importance of a dog’s love, and finding resilience in the face of unimaginable sorrow. Key Points Discussed: The Shock of Diagnosis: Lily recounts the initial turmoil following Cole's unexpected cancer diagnosis, emphasising the drastic change it brought to their lives. Navigating Treatment and Embracing Hope: Despite the grim prognosis, Lily and Cole's determination to explore every possible treatment option highlights their unwavering hope and the lengths they went to fight the disease. The Role of Humour and Community: The discussion underlines the therapeutic power of laughter and the significant role of a supportive community in coping with the challenges faced during Cole's illness. Grieving and Moving Forward: Lily reflects on the grieving process, the impact of loss on their son Ethan, and the ways in which they've sought to honour Cole's memory and legacy. This episode is a poignant reminder of the strength found in love, the healing power of community, and the importance of facing grief with hope and dignity. It offers a compassionate perspective on dealing with terminal illness and loss within a family, providing comfort and understanding to those navigating similar paths. Resources: For single parents and their children, check out Gingerbread - https://www.gingerbread.org.uk Child Bereavement UK which helps children, parents and families rebuild their lives when a child grieves - https://www.childbereavementuk.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’ll be addressing a concern from parents about their son's lack of motivation. We’ll explore the challenges of transitioning to adulthood and suggest the approach of trying to understand his perspective rather than pushing him, as pushing him might not offer the results you’re looking for. Our conversation also touches on how the parents can support each other and accept their children's journey and the extended maturation process of the younger generation. For a more detailed exploration of the topic and additional insights, you might find Jeffrey Arnett's work on Emerging Adulthood, including his TED talk and book, particularly enlightening, offering a broader understanding of the challenges faced by young adults today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv8KpQY0m6o Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this very special episode of Therapy Works, I have the pleasure of sitting down in-person with the remarkable Kirsty Young, a beloved figure in Scottish television and radio. Renowned for presenting the iconic show Desert Island Discs and her role in hosting prestigious events such as the Queen's jubilee and funeral, Kirsty brings a wealth of wisdom and insight to our conversation. Key Discussion Points: Childhood Influences: Kirsty opens up about the formative experiences of her childhood, shedding light on feelings of abandonment and inadequacy that have shaped her journey. Career Drive and Coping with Stress: We delve into Kirsty's innate drive for success and how she navigates high-stress periods, finding balance amidst the demands of her career. Embracing Imperfection: Kirsty shares her perspective on prioritising the present moment over the pursuit of perfection, finding joy in embracing life's imperfections and uncertainties. Confronting Anxiety and Vulnerability: With refreshing candour, Kirsty discusses her childhood battle with anxiety. Lessons in Growth: Through her own health journey, Kirsty offers profound insights into the power of self-compassion and acceptance. She emphasises the importance of embracing imperfection and finding liberation in simply being. Join us as Kirsty Young shares her journey of growth, resilience, and self-discovery, offering invaluable insights into embracing imperfection and finding strength in vulnerability. Resource Mentions: Rachel Yehuda: A notable figure in the field of psychology, known for her work on intergenerational trauma and the role of epigenetics. Please find her study here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127768/ Highly Sensitive People Project: Explore this initiative dedicated to understanding and supporting highly sensitive individuals at HSPerson.com. On Being Podcast: Dive into thought-provoking discussions on spirituality, ethics, and humanity with the On Being podcast, available at OnBeing.org. Kirsty's Podcast: Immerse yourself in Kirsty's captivating voice and engaging conversations on her podcast, click the link below: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/young-again/id1708924395 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of "Agony Aunties," we’re responding to a listener's question about maintaining a relationship with their son's ex-girlfriend. While it’s understandable to want to maintain a connection with someone that you personally don’t have any issues with, and while we don’t know all of the ins and outs of the situation, what arises in us is the importance to be aware of the complexity of such dynamics post-breakup, to consider the son's feelings, and to be aware of the the potential for confusion on the ex's part. We’ll be expanding on these ideas in the episode, so give it a listen, and if you have any questions of your own, please send them in to jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode, I’ll be delving into Petrina Barber's harrowing journey with cancer, diagnosed shortly after the birth of her son. Petrina shares the complexities of her battle, not just with the disease itself but also with the incurable condition that arose from her treatment, drastically impacting her and her family’s life. While Petrina lost a sense of autonomy over her body and acknowledges the profound losses it brought, she has been able to show such tremendous strength, and physically accomplish what no doctor thought possible. In doing so - she is redefining what is possible for people with stomas. Key Points Discussed: •⁠ ⁠The Initial Shock: Petrina's “perfect” life was upended with a cancer diagnosis at a young age, changing everything she knew and planned for her abd her family's future. •⁠ ⁠Treatment and its Aftermath: The severe side effects of cancer treatment led to the development of Pelvic Radiation Disease (PRD), significantly altering Petrina's life quality and leading to numerous medical emergencies. •⁠ ⁠Advocacy and Self-Care: Learning to advocate for herself and focusing on the quality of life became Petrina's priority, shifting from a survival mindset to one of living fully despite the circumstances. What Petrina has been able to achieve in the face of all of her health challenges, is incredibly impressive. •⁠ ⁠Strength and Resilience: Despite numerous challenges, Petrina's story is a testament to human resilience, the power of family support, and the importance of finding joy and purpose even in the face of life-altering adversity. Petrina's narrative is a touching reminder of the unpredictable nature of life, the strength found in vulnerability, and the power of hope and relentless love in navigating the most challenging moments. This episode illuminates the deep impact of health crises on personal identity, family dynamics, and the journey toward finding new meaning and strength amidst loss. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s episode of the Therapy Works podcast, we released a very important conversation with Charles Spencer, where he opens up about his experience of childhood sexual abuse in boarding school. In this bonus episode, the three of us talk about our takeaways from that conversation, and what really resonated in us when we heard Charles’ story. Key Points Discussed: Complexity of Disclosure: They explore the difficulties victims face in disclosing abuse, especially sexual abuse, due to societal disbelief and the inherent shame tied to these experiences. Impact of Abuse on Identity and Relationships: The dialogue delves into the effects of abuse on self-perception, the struggle with shame, and the obstacles to forming intimate and trustworthy relationships. Navigating the Healing Process: The importance of therapy, acknowledging one’s experiences, and finding a narrative to differentiate the past from the present are emphasised as crucial steps towards recovery. The Role of Acknowledgment in Healing: The power of acknowledging harm done, either through direct conversation or letters, as a pivotal step for both victims and perpetrators towards addressing intergenerational trauma. For more information, please visit the National Child Traumatic Stress Network - https://www.nctsn.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I’m speaking with Charles Spencer, who shares his traumatic experiences at a boarding school where he faced physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Charles discusses the profound impact these childhood experiences have had on his life, the complex process of healing, and the importance of speaking out to help others. Key Points Discussed: Enduring Abuse: Charles recounts the harrowing abuse he endured during his time at a particularly abusive boarding school, including sexual abuse, and the lasting impact on his mental health. The Healing Journey: The conversation delves into Charles's extensive journey through therapy, including EMDR, and the role of writing his book as a form of therapy. Impact of Trauma: Charles reflects on how the trauma influenced his views on trust, relationships, and self-worth, emphasising the importance of working through past pain for personal growth. Advocacy for Change: Highlighting the importance of advocating for the protection of children and raising awareness about the long-term effects of abuse, Charles discusses his hope that his story will inspire others to seek help and speak out. This episode offers hope and solidarity to others who have experienced similar traumas. Charles Spencer's openness provides valuable insights into the complexities of healing from childhood abuse and underscores the power of vulnerability and truth in overcoming the shadows of the past. Buy Charles's book: https://amzn.eu/d/8KndO4s Follow Charles on X: @cspencer1508 Follow Charles on Instagram: @charles.earl.spencer Watch the full podcast episode on Julia's Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX3RmDaV8ZzsLuQzsi-4hAA A big thank you to our wonderful sponsor Window Fleur. Please head to their website and use the code THERAPYWORKS15 for 15% off your first order: https://windowfleur.com/ Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re taking a bit of a different direction. While I do much prefer to answer your questions, and to connect with what’s alive in you, this week I’m going to share something that has happened to me. Namely, I am currently going through a series of health challenges. I broke my shoulder in a fall, and needed a couple of surgeries for it. On top of that, I have a rare condition called Ramsay Hunt Syndrome, the symptoms of which have flared up and paralysed half of my face, and this is affecting the way I look and speak. I thought it might be odd if I just appeared on video without explaining what happened, as I do look and sound different than before. However, while I do appreciate the kindness and support I have received from so many of you already, I don’t want the focus of my content to be on me and this situation I’m in. I’m very motivated by the work that I’m doing, by these talks that I’m having, and these stories that I’m sharing. And I also find great meaning in sharing this work with you, and in the community that we’re all developing. I am going to continue doing what I find most meaningful. Thank you. Next week we’ll get back to answering your questions again, so do please continue to send them in. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this insightful episode, I speak with Professor Tom Shakespeare, a distinguished figure in the fields of disability research and bioethics. Their conversation delves into the profound aspects of disability, societal perceptions, and the intrinsic value of diversity and acceptance in human connections. Tom, with his rich background and personal experiences, offers a unique perspective on living with disability and the universal challenges of human existence. Key Points Discussed: The Finite Nature of Life: Tom discusses the challenge of balancing a desire to achieve against the finite nature of life, highlighting the constant struggle to meet demands within limited time and the personal incidents that bring this reality into focus. Disability and Society: The dialogue explores the deep-rooted societal prejudices towards disability, emphasising the need for a shift in perception to recognise the common humanity and vulnerabilities shared by all, regardless of physical or mental differences. Embracing Limitations: We discuss the importance of acknowledging and embracing human limitations, framing disability within a broader context of human fragility and the societal barriers that exacerbate these challenges. The Power of Rest and Laughter: Tom shares personal strategies for managing life's pressures and pains, such as the rejuvenating power of napping and the therapeutic value of humour in facing adversity and fostering connection. This episode is a testament to the resilience, diversity, and unity of the human spirit. Tom's narrative is a reminder that our shared vulnerabilities and limitations are not weaknesses but are essential to our collective identity and humanity. It encourages us to embrace diversity, practice acceptance, and find joy and meaning in our shared human experience. Find Tom Shakespeare: https://farmerofthoughts.co.uk/biography/ Find Julia Samuel: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Agony Aunties, Julia, Emily and Sophie share insightful perspectives on the topic of "only children." Julia critiques the term itself, emphasising that it carries a derivative implication, suggesting that an only child is somehow insufficient. Emily adds that regardless of family configuration, there are both pros and cons, and having just one child can offer unique benefits, allowing the child to receive undivided attention and care. The conversation touches on the complexities of family structures and challenges the notion that only children face disadvantages. The discussion then shifts to supporting a teenager on the edge of friendship groups. Emily points out the natural fluctuations in teenage friendships and acknowledges the pain parents feel when they can't easily intervene. Sophie contributes from her own experience, urging parents to reflect on their own past and potential projections onto their children. The importance of understanding the difference between the parent's and the child's experiences is highlighted, emphasising open communication and shared vulnerability in navigating teenage friendships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this emotionally charged episode, Henrietta opens up about her journey through permanent childlessness and shares the complexities of her grief. Henrietta describes how there isn't a singular reason for her childlessness – not meeting the right partner and the element of luck being 50% out of her control. She recalls making a promise to herself, keeping the door half-shut, and the heartbreak that then followed. Key Points Discussed: Confronting Sadness: Exploring the depths of her grief, Henrietta opens up about the sadness that accompanies the longing for children never conceived. The challenges of feeling alienated and misunderstood during the second year of her journey come to the forefront. Disenfranchised Grief: Henrietta sheds light on the disenfranchised grief experienced by childless individuals, where the loss remains invisible and delegitimized. She addresses the staggering statistic that one in five people faces this unacknowledged sorrow. Creating a Supportive Tribe: Discovering solace in a newfound community, Henrietta emphasises the significance of creating spaces for childless women to openly discuss their pain. She underscores the power of validation and the healing that can occur when individuals facing similar struggles come together. Existential Anguish: Henrietta bares her soul, sharing moments of anger and betrayal intertwined with the existential loneliness that accompanies childlessness. She articulates the ongoing struggle of holding onto the idea of having her own child. This episode serves as a powerful testament to the often silent grief of permanent childlessness. It provides a compassionate space for validation and understanding. Henrietta's story unfolds as a narrative of resilience and strength in the face of unseen struggles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, a listener seeks advice on parenting adult children. The Agony Aunties encourage active listening, allowing for diverse perspectives without necessarily agreeing. They suggest using feedback formats, like expressing what one hears, sees, feels, and relates, to avoid judgement. The conversation explores the importance of compromise, acknowledging emotional subtext in disagreements, and understanding the generational shift in parenting dynamics. They emphasise the evolving nature of the parent-adult child relationship, acknowledging the dance between letting go and remaining close. They reflect on the challenge of finding a balance between abandonment and enmeshment, offering insights into the worry that comes with children growing into adulthood. The episode concludes with wisdom on processing loss, accepting the evolving roles, and trusting adult children to navigate their lives while providing a supportive presence. If you're navigating the complexities of parenting adult children, this episode offers thoughtful guidance and relatable perspectives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today's deeply moving conversation, I am honoured to be joined by the incredible Annabel Croft. Annabel graciously shares her poignant journey through the rapid and tragic loss of her husband to cancer. We delve into the realms of loss, love, and the indomitable spirit of hope that persists in the face of grief. In this episode, we discuss:  Sudden Diagnosis and Profound Journey: Annabel recounts the shocking moment they learned of her husband's terminal diagnosis, marking the beginning of a profound journey through grief and acceptance. She discusses the brutal reality of receiving such news, the swift progression of her husband's illness, and the emotional turmoil that ensued for her and her family. Brutal Delivery of News: We explore the brutal way in which healthcare practitioners handled their situation, making what's already devastating worse. We reflect on the lasting impact it has on individuals and families facing terminal illnesses. Strength in Vulnerability: Annabel's courage to be vulnerably open, allowing her emotions to be seen and felt, offers a beacon of understanding for anyone navigating the turbulent waters of loss. Therapeutic Power of Dance and Hope: The conversation highlights the importance of hope, the therapeutic power of dance in Annabel's life, and the significance of finding joy and meaning despite the presence of grief. Annabel's Reflections: Reflecting on her experience, Annabel's story serves as a testament to the strength found in vulnerability and the resilience of the human spirit. Though uniquely hers, it echoes universal truths of love's depth, the pain of loss, and the enduring quest for solace and understanding. As we share in Annabel's journey, let us remember the capacity of the human heart to heal, to find light amidst darkness, and to continue loving in the memory of those we've lost.  Annabel expresses her desire to support the work of a brilliant scientist, Isabella Cooper. For those interested, you can read more about Isabelle's work here: https://www.foreveryounggroup.com/about-us Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special episode of our Agony Aunties mini series, our wise trio – Emily, Sophie, and Julia – dive deep into the intricacies of love and relationships. The first question addresses the delicate balance of approaching a new relationship with both excitement and caution. Emily's candid response reminds us that every relationship comes with its share of risks, emphasising that the beauty of love lies in its unpredictability. She encourages embracing the vulnerability that comes with love rather than succumbing to the fear of potential hurt. Moving on to the challenge of maintaining the spark in long-term relationships, Sophie shares invaluable insights. Recognising the monotony that can set in, she suggests cultivating personal sources of joy and excitement. Whether it's engaging in a dance class or enjoying time with friends, maintaining an individual sense of fun and spontaneity can breathe life back into the relationship. The trio concludes with Julia addressing the difficult subject of grief around Valentine's Day. She emphasises the importance of acknowledging the pain, legitimising emotions, and seeking support, offering a compassionate approach for those navigating the complexities of love and loss. Tune in for a heartfelt episode filled with wisdom, laughter, and guidance on matters of the heart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today's conversation, I am joined by Josiah Hartley, who generously shares the complexities of his struggle with depression, emphasising the pivotal importance of early recognition of signs and the transformative power of self-kindness and professional support. His story serves as a testament to vulnerability, resilience, and the gradual path to recovery, offering valuable insights for both individuals facing similar challenges and parents seeking to connect with their children going through depression or having suicidal thoughts. Key Discussion Points: Understanding Depression: Delving into the subtle onset of depression, Josiah recounts the critical moment when he shifted his perspective, recognising depression as a mental illness rather than a personal failure. This realisation became a turning point, steering him towards the path of recovery. The Role of Support: Josiah highlights the pivotal role of a trusted psychiatrist who guided him through the complexities of treatment, underscoring the transformative potential of compassionate professional care. This discussion emphasises the need for empathy in healthcare interactions and the profound impact it can have on a patient's journey. Daily Self-Care and Mindfulness: Emphasising the significance of self-care and mindfulness practices, Josiah shares how simple acts of kindness towards oneself played a foundational role in his healing process. From daily routines to mindful practices, these small but impactful steps collectively contributed to a profound improvement in his mental health. This episode stands as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the importance of seeking help, and the possibility of leading a fulfilling life despite the challenges posed by mental illness. Read Josiah's book: https://amzn.eu/d/3O6nFAf For those seeking additional support, please see the below resources that were mentioned in the episode: Emily mentioned a PDF on DBT which you can view here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xR9c-LW8gK5RqJ-Src611kheCT-jNWky/view Charlie Waller Trust - https://www.charliewaller.org/ Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/ Campaign Against Living Miserably - https://www.thecalmzone.net/ A big thank you to our sponsor Brora who are offering Therapy Works listeners a fabulous 10% off on full-price pieces. Head to their website broraonline.com and use the code TW10 at checkout before the end of April. Find Julia Samuel: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartfelt episode of Agony Aunties, the team addresses a poignant question from a listener who has recently lost their mother, with the added complication of a sister attempting to take control. Sophie sensitively navigates the complexities of grief, highlighting the common occurrence of competition among siblings when parents pass away. She delves into the intricacies of such dynamics, where the struggle for control often becomes a representation of love and value in the eyes of the departed parent. Julia adds a valuable perspective, emphasising the importance of surrendering the need for control and focusing on validating the significant relationship with the mother. The Agony Aunties also explore the grieving process in a difficult relationship, addressing a listener's question on how to honestly grieve its loss. Emily provides insights on allowing oneself to feel the range of emotions and the significance of being honest about the complexities of the relationship. Tune in for compassionate advice on navigating familial dynamics, grief, and the journey towards emotional honesty. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To kick off Season 5, I am joined by Julia Bradbury, a best-selling author, TV presenter, and ardent advocate for nature, health, and hiking. Renowned for her passion for the outdoors, Julia has embarked on a transformative journey following her cancer diagnosis and surgery, dedicating herself to promoting healthy living and nature therapy. In this episode, Julia shares her inspiring story, emphasising the importance of investigating our default responses to adversity and finding purpose amid life's challenges.  In this episode we discuss: Emphasising Self-Compassion: Julia Bradbury underscores the importance of avoiding self-blame during challenging times and encourages listeners to explore their default responses to adversity. Navigating Medical Challenges: The episode delves into Julia Bradbury's journey with breast cancer and the emotional toll of a rigorous biopsy, shedding light on the intricacies of her medical experiences. Tarot Wisdom: She touches on the use of tarot cards, delving into their symbolism, including the snake representing change and medicine, as part of her exploration of diverse modalities. Action Over Stagnation: Julia Bradbury advocates for taking action in challenging situations, emphasising that proactive measures propel personal growth rather than becoming stuck. Purposeful Living Post-Cancer: The cancer journey offers Julia a renewed sense of purpose, paving the way for a life filled with positivity.  In this transformative episode, Julia Bradbury shares her resilient journey, inviting listeners to explore their responses to adversity, navigate medical challenges and ultimately find renewed purpose and balance in the tapestry of life. A big thank you to our sponsor Brora who are offering Therapy Works listeners a fabulous 10% off on full-price pieces. Head to their website broraonline.com and use the code TW10 at checkout before the end of April. Find Julia Bradbury: Book: Walk Yourself Happy Instagram: @juliabradbury Find Julia Samuel: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Agony Aunties, Julia, Sophie, and Emily tackle a poignant question from a listener: How to deal with a narcissistic mother whose behaviour seems to be escalating with age. The conversation explores the challenge of dealing with someone who lacks insight into how their actions affect others. They discuss the emotional toll this behaviour takes on those in a relationship with a narcissist, highlighting the importance of recognising that the issue lies with the narcissist and not the individual experiencing the effects. They offer valuable insights on coping strategies for individuals dealing with a narcissistic parent, emphasising the significance of staying calm, taking a step back, and recognising that the behaviour is a reflection of the narcissist rather than a reflection of the individual. This episode serves as a compassionate and informative guide for anyone navigating the complexities of relationships with narcissistic individuals, offering practical advice and reassurance for those facing the challenges of a narcissistic parent. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Agony Aunties, the trio delves into the intricate realm of boundaries, addressing the following listener question: "This new stance of boundaries that have taken hold on social media. I'm in my 60s and my initial thought is that boundaries prevent mending, being vulnerable, listening and can be misused. Of course, natural normal boundaries are needed when one is suffering abuse. My instinct tells me people can use putting up boundaries as an excuse not to hear what others think and feel." Emily acknowledges concerns around the potential misuse of therapy language and defends the enduring value of boundaries. Sophie reframes boundaries as tools for safety, self-worth, and the ability to adapt based on perceived threats. Julia emphasises the transformative power of boundaries as a form of self-care, offering clear guidelines adaptable across diverse relationships and contexts. Together, they explore the delicate balance of setting boundaries to enhance well-being and nurture richer connections. Join Agony Aunties as they navigate life's challenges with wisdom and compassion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Agony Aunties are back with a heartfelt episode delving into the complex world of sibling relationships. Question 1: Dealing with an Estranged Sibling: "How to deal with an estranged sibling who knows me and wants no contact?" The Agony Aunties dive into the delicate realm of estrangement, exploring the often unspoken feelings of shame and guilt experienced by those with distant siblings. They share insights on the importance of self-reflection, the potential for reconnection, and the empowerment that comes with keeping the possibility of a future relationship open. Question 2: Sibling Scapegoating and Pain: "My brother scapegoats me and causes me pain. Should I move away?" In response to a listener grappling with a sibling's harmful behaviour, the Agony Aunties explore the concept of being a scapegoat and the toll it takes on one's well-being. They offer guidance on stepping out of this role, establishing healthy boundaries, and discuss the liberating power of finding one's voice. The Agony Aunties leave listeners with actionable advice and a reminder that, even in the complexities of family dynamics, personal growth and healing are possible. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join Julia, Emily, and Sophie as they delve deep into the complexities of relationships, focusing on the intricate web of divorce and affairs. With compassionate hearts and keen insights, our Agony Aunties are here to offer guidance and support. The Agony Aunties answer the following questions: "My three kids are 19, 17 and 13 and they regularly ask their dad had an affair. The affair woman is now his wife and their stepmother." "My husband had an affair and he's left the family home. We have two young children. Can you give me tips to build my strength?" "I'm weathering divorce and an ex who moved on immediately. How do I rebuild my self-esteem?" As the episode concludes, Julia, Emily, and Sophie reiterate the importance of self-love, open communication, and seeking support during tumultuous times. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special bonus episode of Therapy Works, we tackle a critical question many individuals grapple with: "How do I know when it's time to end therapy?". We navigate the complexities of concluding a therapeutic journey, discussing the nuanced factors that contribute to recognising the right time for transition. We explore scenarios where individuals may feel they've achieved specific goals or addressed particular challenges, as well as moments when unexpected issues arise, prompting a desire for continued therapeutic support. We emphasise the significance of mutual recognition between therapist and client, discussing the gradual reduction of sessions and the importance of fostering open communication throughout this process. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special bonus episode of Therapy Works, we demystify the question, "How can therapy help me?". We underscore that therapy isn't a magic wand but a transformative journey that offers a confidential space to explore patterns, relationships, and life's complexities. Whether navigating destructive relationship patterns or monumental life events, therapy serves as a unique relationship characterised by empathy, trust, and confidentiality. Highlighting the multifaceted benefits of therapy, we discuss its relevance across different stages of life and emphasise its distinct role in providing personalised support. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special bonus episode, Julia and Emily offer listeners insightful strategies for navigating the complexities of Christmas. The discussion covers a range of topics, including gracefully handling awkward questions from family members, embracing the experience of spending Christmas alone, and managing the overwhelming pressures that often accompany this festive period. Julia and Emily provide practical advice on setting boundaries, fostering self-care, and cultivating meaningful connections, whether with family or within oneself. Additionally, the episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing and appreciating peaceful moments amidst the holiday chaos. This episode aims to empower listeners with the tools and understanding needed to navigate the emotional landscape of the festive season, fostering resilience and well-being in the midst of family gatherings, solitude, and societal pressures. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To mark the end of a wonderful series, I am joined by the insightful Alain de Botton, an author, respected philosopher and founder of The School of Life. Get ready for a journey through the history of psychotherapy, the nuances of the true and false self, and the power of the inner child. In this episode, we discuss:  The Gift of the Modern Age: Unveiling the History of Psychotherapy We explore the evolution of psychotherapy as a novel concept in the modern age, delving into its transformative power as both an idea and a treatment. The Annoying Power of the Inner Child We unpack the concept of the inner child and its significant influence on adult behaviour, and our desire for 'the tender heart of a small child and the wisdom of an old man.' Navigating the Layers of Identity We engage in a thoughtful discussion on the duality of the true and false self, examining the impact of understanding these layers on personal growth and authenticity. The Senses as Gateways to Emotion: Art as the Conduit to Self We explore how the senses shape emotions, both positively and negatively, uncovering the profound connection between art and the journey of self-discovery. A Unique Perspective on Breakdowns Gain insights into the concept of 'mental reversals' and their influence on mental health, receiving original perspectives on coping with breakdowns and the potential benefits they might offer. Love and Self-Sabotage We delve into the complexities of love and the common tendency to sabotage our deepest desires, exploring strategies to overcome self-destructive patterns when it comes to love. Navigating the Challenges of Christmas Alain ends the conversation with practical perspectives on navigating the challenges presented by the festive season. Bamford are inviting listeners of the podcast an exclusive 15% off all spa bookings until the end of December. To book your treatment at their wellness spas in London or the Cotswolds phone quoting ‘THERAPY WORKS’ to receive your exclusive discount or online at bamford.com. The code THERAPYWORKS is valid on all spa bookings. Find Alain: Website: https://www.alaindebotton.com/ Buy Alain's new book, A Therapeutic Journey: Lessons from the School of Life: https://amzn.eu/d/8bfHmqB The School of Life: https://www.theschooloflife.com/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's guest is the remarkable Gabby Logan, a prominent sports and radio presenter with a wealth of experience. In this insightful conversation, Gabby brings forth her intelligence, empathy, and articulate perspectives as we explore the powerful intersection of sports, strength, and life. In the episode, we discuss:  Physical and Mental Strength: Discover the profound link between physical and mental strength as Gabby reflects on her journey in sports. Learn how the lessons of discomfort, growth, and stepping out of the comfort zone in sports translate into valuable life skills. Discipline, Endurance, and Commitment: Uncover the tools of discipline, endurance, practice, and commitment cultivated through sports, which have been pivotal in guiding Gabby through life's challenges. Grief and Transformation: Delve into the profound impact of the tragic death of Gabby's brother Daniel, exploring how such significant loss shapes one's personal and professional life. Understand the transformative journey of grief and personal growth. Generational Perspectives on Trauma: Explore the generational differences in responding to trauma, acknowledging the limitations faced by Gabby's father in accessing therapy and the evolving dynamics of seeking support. Marriage and Love as a Practice: Gain insights into the complexities of marriage as Gabby emphasises the importance of choosing to love and the ongoing practice of honesty within relationships. Humour and Lightness: Despite the serious themes, experience moments of humour and lightness in this conversation that touch the heart and leave a lasting impact. Tune in for a compelling episode that navigates the intricacies of life, resilience, and the transformative power of strength with Gabby Logan. Bamford are inviting listeners of the podcast an exclusive 15% off all spa bookings until the end of December. To book your treatment at their wellness spas in London or the Cotswolds phone quoting ‘THERAPY WORKS’ to receive your exclusive discount or online at bamford.com. The code THERAPYWORKS is valid on all spa bookings. Find Gabby: Website: https://www.gabbylogan.com/ Instagram: @gabbylogan Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-mid-point-with-gabby-logan/id1527545442 Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this riveting episode, Lesley takes us on a profound journey into the unexpected consequences of contemporary DNA tests. What's marketed as a tool to uncover "ancestry, traits, and health" for informed health decisions can, in reality, deliver life-altering bombshells. Lesley's experience began innocently enough with a DNA test given to her on her birthday. Little did she know, this seemingly fun present would shatter her sense of self and family. The revelation that her father wasn't her biological dad sent shockwaves through her life. Key Discussion Points: Impact of How Bad News is Delivered: Lesley shares insights into how the delivery of life-altering news can exacerbate its emotional impact. Secrets in Families: The complexities surrounding family secrets and the turbulence that arises when these secrets are unveiled. Reconfiguring Identity: The emotional journey of reconfiguring one's sense of self when faced with the revelation that a parent is not biological. Managing Unanswered Questions: Strategies for navigating the challenges of unanswered questions that emerge from these revelations. Navigating the Search for "New" Family: The emotional rollercoaster of seeking and meeting newfound family members, from the underwhelming to the overwhelming. Nature vs. Nurture Dance: An exploration of how our family experiences, both biological and chosen, shape our identities. Supportive Communities: Lesley highlights the supportive power of podcasts and Facebook communities in connecting with others who share similar experiences. Lesley's honesty, warmth, and openness make this episode a compelling exploration of family, change, identity, and love. Bamford are inviting listeners of the podcast an exclusive 15% off all spa bookings until the end of December. To book your treatment at their wellness spas in London or the Cotswolds phone quoting ‘THERAPY WORKS’ to receive your exclusive discount or online at bamford.com. The code THERAPYWORKS is valid on all spa bookings. Additional links: Books: Uprooted by Peter J. Boni (he was donor conceived in the 1950s and it includes his memoir and some history regarding artificial insemination). Inheritance by Dani Shapiro What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg Facebook groups: We Are Donor Conceived DNA Surprises support group NPE Only: After the Discovery  Podcasts to listen to: NPE Stories on Stitcher DNA Surprises – Sharing the journeys of people who were shocked by a DNA discovery, mostly through modern DNA testing. (dnasurprisespodcast.com) Everything's Relative Podcast | DNA Surprises - EVE STURGES Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this insightful episode, I sit down with Lorraine Candy, former Editor of Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Style Magazine, who has spent her career thinking about, writing about, and interviewing women. Despite external markers of success, including a successful career, a husband, and four children, Lorraine candidly shares her journey, revealing that life isn't always as sussed as it seems. Key Discussion Points: The Unravelling in Mid-Life: Lorraine opens up about the shaming and frightening experience of unravelling in mid-life, challenging the assumptions tied to external success. Navigating Menopause: The episode delves into the often misunderstood and myth-laden topic of menopause. Lorraine sheds light on the importance of accurate information about Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and the alarming statistics linking hormone imbalances to mental health challenges, including suicide. Identity at the Heart of Change: Explore the core principles of identity and how understanding ourselves plays a crucial role in navigating change, particularly for Lorraine as a parent. Adaptability and Change: The conversation emphasizes the importance of embracing adaptability and change in all aspects of our identities, with a spotlight on Lorraine's experiences as a parent. Slowing Down and Making Space: Discover the significance of slowing down, learning to say no, and creating space for curiosity—a concept referred to as 'a fertile void.' Lorraine advocates for making space to explore new possibilities in our lives. The Role of Humor and Friendship: Lorraine highlights the importance of humor and the support of friends in maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Routes to Safety and Connection: Learn about personal routes to a sense of safety and feeling at home in our bodies. This can include activities such as cold water swimming, reading, dancing, and embracing the power of human connection through hugs. Tune in as Lorraine Candy shares her wisdom on navigating life's complexities, challenging societal expectations, and finding true well-being from within. Find Lorraine: Book: https://amzn.eu/d/jbDQUUx Instagram: @lorrainecandy Podcast: https://play.acast.com/s/postcardsfrommidlife Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to a truly unique episode that transcends the boundaries of a traditional therapy session, offering a gripping narrative more akin to a drama. Join us for a revealing and compelling conversation with Gulsom, a story that is sure to stir your emotions. In this episode, Gulsom shares poignant aspects of her life: Independence Against Odds: Gulsom's remarkable journey from a poor, uneducated farming family to becoming a qualified solicitor in Afghanistan. Traumatic Escape: An intense account of how her life changed during the shocking Taliban military offensive in Afghanistan, leading to a terrifying escape to London. Navigating Trauma and Grief: Gulsom delves into the depths of the trauma she experienced and the profound grief of leaving everything behind. Resilience and Hope: Discover what fuels Gulsom's resilience and the audacity to hope as she fights for a new future. As you listen, you'll find yourself reflecting on the privileges often taken for granted in our lives. This episode serves as a powerful reminder that it's not the events that define us, but our responses to them that truly shape our lives. We've all experienced those transformative moments that divide our lives into a distinct "before" and "after." This episode magnifies such a moment, emphasising how life can undergo seismic shifts in an instant. It's crucial to recognise that while these moments can be swift, the journey to rebuild and reshape our lives afterward can span a lifetime. Additional Links: Breaking Barriers charity: https://breaking-barriers.co.uk/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartfelt episode, I have the pleasure of speaking to Izzy Judd, a violinist, and author, but above all, a devoted mother to three children. Through Izzy's gentle honesty, she provides a relatable narrative for parents facing their unique challenges, offering a blend of insight and self-compassion. Key Discussion Points: Infertility and Miscarriage: Izzy delves into the complexities of infertility and miscarriage, addressing the physical and psychological aspects, as well as the challenges they pose for couples. These experiences often strain relationships and create unique dynamics, particularly when contrasted with those who appear to effortlessly build their families. Emotional Load: We explore the emotional weight carried in the realms of life, love, and parenting, which inevitably intersects with one's personal history. Izzy shares her insights into managing these intersecting emotional facets. Anxiety and Control: The conversation touches upon the relationship between busyness and anxiety, highlighting how periods of quiet can send anxiety soaring.  Befriending Anxiety: Izzy opens up about anxiety as an unwelcome companion that can be understood and even befriended. She shares her experiences and strategies for navigating anxiety in daily life. Important Conversations: Izzy emphasizes the significance of engaging in important conversations with strangers, in-laws, family, and friends. These conversations have the potential to shed light, offer insights, and provide strength in the face of life's challenges. This episode showcases the power of vulnerability, resilience, and the capacity for growth and understanding. Izzy Judd's journey is both informative and deeply moving. Bamford are inviting listeners of the podcast an exclusive 15% off all spa bookings until the end of December. To book your treatment at their wellness spas in London or the Cotswolds phone quoting ‘THERAPY WORKS’ to receive your exclusive discount or online at bamford.com. The code THERAPYWORKS is valid on all spa bookings. Find Izzy: Instagram: @mrs_izzyjudd Book: https://amzn.eu/d/bc50wDn Album: https://open.spotify.com/album/4vlx1K1fbzPd3jsFtqGq8M?si=B0QVl8ENT5-Q6x5Zf8X_9g Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this extraordinary episode, we welcome Kit Vincent, an award-winning filmmaker who faced a profound and life-altering diagnosis at the age of 24 when he was told he had a brain tumour with a life expectancy of 4-8 years. Despite the gravity of Kit's situation, this conversation is anything but bleak—it's a testament to the power of humour, courage, and warmth. Kit's story is an inspiring lesson on how to live life to the fullest, even in the face of adversity.  We explore: Rearranging One's Identity: Kit discusses how the diagnosis has fundamentally changed who he is, leading to an internal "rearrangement." He shares the challenge of "grieving oneself" and the complexities of fitting one's life into the lives of others. Prioritizing What Matters: A time-limited future sharpens one's focus on what truly matters, both in significant life decisions and in the everyday. We delve into the impact on priorities and the absence of easy answers. Family and Relationships: The ripple effects of a terminal diagnosis are felt by everyone in the family, including Kit's girlfriend, Isabel. We explore the testing, the difficulty, and the way it has also forged stronger bonds. Silent Internal Conversations: Kit shares the internal turmoil of a 24/7 silent conversation that can alienate someone from the rest of the world when facing a terminal diagnosis. Therapy and Healing: An insightful discussion about therapy, its cost, utility, and what does or doesn't work in the face of such profound challenges. The Power of Humour: We uncover the joy of humour as a survival mechanism in the darkest of times, revealing the incredible resilience of the human spirit. This episode is a testament to the indomitable human will to find humour, courage, and warmth even in the most challenging circumstances. Kit Vincent's story is an inspiration to us all. Additional Links:  Research on Broken Heart Syndrome: Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken-heart syndrome) - Harvard Health Find out more about Kit's documentary here: https://www.kitvincentfilm.com/work/people-plr64 Bamford are inviting listeners of the podcast an exclusive 15% off all spa bookings until the end of December. To book your treatment at their wellness spas in London or the Cotswolds phone quoting ‘THERAPY WORKS’ to receive your exclusive discount or online at bamford.com. The code THERAPYWORKS is valid on all spa bookings. Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this remarkable episode, we are joined by Rio Ferdinand, celebrated as one of the greatest football players of his generation, with 81 caps for England. While Rio's sporting prowess is well-known, it's his candid and heartfelt conversation with me that truly sets him apart. If you weren't already a fan of Rio, you will undoubtedly become one after listening to this episode. Rio's remarkable honesty and infectious humour shine through, even as he delves into the profound tragedies he and his family have faced. Key Discussion Points: Navigating Loss and Love: Rio and his family's journey toward rediscovering life and love following the tragic deaths of his first wife, Rebecca, and his beloved mother. Bereaved Siblings: The discussion explores the unique experiences and responses of bereaved siblings, highlighting the diversity of emotional reactions within a family. Preserving Memories: The importance of keeping the memories of loved ones alive, embedding them within the family's narrative, and continuing to connect with those who have passed. Kate's Role: The significant role played by Kate, Rio's current partner, in fostering connections between herself, Rio's children, and their late mother, Rebecca. The Blended Family: An exploration of the remarkable love and bond within Rio's blended family, where biological and non-biological children are equally cherished. Permission to Be Happy: The family's acknowledgment and acceptance of the right to happiness and joy, even in the face of tragedy. The Power of Evolution: The commitment to evolving and growing as a family, embracing change, and finding strength through unity. Connection Through Humour: The remarkable release and connection that humour brings to the family, even in challenging times. This episode is a testament to the enduring power of love, resilience, and the human spirit's capacity for healing. Rio Ferdinand's story is an inspiration to all. Find Rio: Instagram: @rioferdy5 Listen to The Blended podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/blended/id1613575251 Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Produced by Rutherford Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this deeply insightful episode, we are privileged to hear Maria's remarkable journey of facing the challenge of being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Her emotional intelligence and profound insights provide valuable takeaways for all who listen. Key Discussion Points: Breaking Bad News: Maria reflects on the critical role of professionals in breaking bad news, and the significant impact their prognosis can have on how individuals manage life-changing information. The Impact of Attitude and Development: We delve into the profound relationship between one's attitude and developmental history and how these factors shape the "story of our life" and, consequently, our health. The Three P's and Their Antidotes: Maria discusses the negative impact of the "three P's" - people pleasing, perfectionism, and past pain - and introduces their antidotes: curiosity and self-compassion, essential elements in the journey to healing. The Mind-Body Connection: Exploring the intricate connection between the mind and body, Maria highlights the powerful notion that "what the mind says, the body hears." Understanding this connection has the potential to transform both health span and lifespan. Building Resilience: Maria shares insights on how to seek and implement strategies that nurture resilience in the mind and body. She emphasizes the importance of "removing what you have too much of and giving your body what you don't have enough of." The Power of Love: At her lowest point, Maria discovered the extraordinary healing power of love. She recounts how, when she wanted to give up, she "couldn't feel his touch but could feel his love," and how it brought about a profound physical and emotional transformation, ultimately saving her life. This episode is a compelling exploration of the human spirit's capacity for resilience and healing. Maria's story is a testament to the extraordinary impact of love and the potential to transcend even the most challenging circumstances. Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this heartfelt conversation, Julia is joined by Brendan Cox, a passionate campaigner and activist dedicated to counter-terrorism and community cohesion. Brendan is also the father of two bereaved children, a role he assumed tragically after the murder of his wife, MP Jo Cox, in 2016. From listening to this conversation, you'll quickly discover Brendan's emotional thoughtfulness and intelligence as he shares his journey, providing insights on several crucial aspects of life: KEY DISCUSSION POINTS:  The Unfixable Tragedy: Brendan opens up about the profound impact of Jo's death and how he grappled with the painful realization that this tragedy was unfixable. It forced him to confront the limits of his power and ultimately surrender to them. A Clear Purpose: Amid the complexity and trauma, the need to focus on his children gave Brendan a clear sense of purpose and meaning in his life. This newfound clarity motivated him to strive to be "a better dad every day." Embracing the Unvarnished Truth: Brendan learned that, for himself and his children, honesty, no matter how difficult, was far better than a lie or false protection. This unwavering trust they built in one another prevented them from being manipulated by external forces providing conflicting information. Living Life to the Fullest: Brendan shares his philosophy of living life to the full, a commitment to "burning the candle at both ends and sort of throwing ourselves into adventures." This approach infused him with the energy to not only persevere but to find joy, adventure, and inspiration in his role as a parent. The Power of Community: The Cox family found solace and strength in their community. Being known by neighbors, feeling safe, and fostering connections played a vital role in their healing and growth. Brendan also reflects on the evidence of how a community can act as a safeguard against mental illness, violence, and extremism. A Call to Connect: As you listen to this conversation, you may find ideas to strengthen your connection to your community and the thought-provoking question: "Out of 10, how connected do I feel?" In the face of adversity and loss, Brendan Cox's story is a testament to the power of embracing tragedy, finding support in community, and nurturing compassion. Support Links:  For further exploration, Julia recommends Julian Abel's book, "The Compassion Project" and encourages you to explore the concept of compassionate communities.  Compassionate Communities: https://compassionate-communitiesuk.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this thought-provoking episode, we delve into the profound impact of our environment and our familial history on our lives. Join us for an enlightening conversation with Azariah Hope, a remarkable individual whose journey of self-discovery and transformation unveils the power of love, belief, and resilience. KEY DISCUSSION POINTS: Azariah's Personal Journey Azariah opens up about her role as a parent to four children, highlighting the unique connection between her experience and the histories of her mother and grandparents. Her story unfolds as a testament to how our personal narratives are deeply intertwined with the generations that precede us. The Influence of 'Normal' We explore the concept that our perception of "normal" profoundly shapes our decisions and behaviors. Azariah eloquently explains how we cannot break free from patterns we aren't even aware of until we're given the opportunity to see life from a different perspective. Healing and Transformation Azariah shares her personal struggle to heal and grow while facing the demands of a systemic world. She candidly discusses how her journey inward was a necessary step before she could begin building a meaningful relationship with her own children, two of whom were adopted. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that the pace of personal growth cannot always align with societal expectations. The Power of Support Amidst the challenges, Azariah found hope and transformation through the support of others. She reflects on the pivotal role played by one social worker who believed in her, understood her, and fought for her. Ultimately, it was the love and commitment of her foster family that saved and transformed her life. Azariah leaves us with a profound message of inspiration. Her story reminds us that, no matter how bleak or traumatic our beginnings may be, transformation and growth are always possible. Through her remarkable journey, she encourages us to believe in our own potential for change and to recognise the significance of love and connection in our lives. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this profoundly moving episode, we have the honor of conversing with Lemn Sissay OBE FRSL, a distinguished British author and broadcaster. Lemn's remarkable journey takes us from his role as the official poet of the 2012 London Olympics to his tenure as the Chancellor of the University of Manchester from 2015 to 2022. However, beyond these accolades, lies a life story that is both heart-wrenching and awe-inspiring. Key Discussion Points: The Emotional Hiroshima: Lemn describes the profound impact of his childhood experiences, particularly the 'emotional Hiroshima' he endured as a 12-year-old child placed into care. Resilience Through Words: Discover how Lemn found solace and resilience through poetry, one word at a time, allowing him to claim his presence in the world with the declaration, "I am here now." Recognizing Value: Lemn challenges our perception of what we value, highlighting how we often fail to recognize the true importance of our possessions until they are taken from us. The Power of Touch: Explore the significance of physical touch and the contrasting experiences of Lemn's lack of contact during his formative years and his grandmother's lifetime of tactile connections, which left her alone in her later years. Forgiveness Liberates: Lemn delves into the transformative power of forgiveness, emphasizing that true forgiveness goes beyond shallow words; it liberates the spirit. Embracing Accountability: The importance of accountability in the healing and growth process is discussed, shedding light on the path toward personal and collective transformation. Lemn leaves us with a thought-provoking question: Can we find inner peace and then work to change the world? This expansive and profound conversation is an emotional rollercoaster, evoking tears, anger, outrage, laughter, and ultimately, a deep sense of love. Prepare to be moved and inspired by Lemn Sissay's incredible journey. Don't miss this episode. Important Links: Article that Emily referenced: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/sep/21/care-experienced-children-eight-times-more-likely-enter-youth-justice-system-england The Forgiveness Project: https://www.theforgivenessproject.com Fostering Support Links: The Fostering Network: https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/ Barnardos: https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On today’s episode, Julia is joined by accomplished author Amanda Prowse. Her success story is as inspiring as it is relatable. Despite her tremendous achievements, Amanda has suffered from imposter syndrome, and today, she opens up about its roots, including the impact of class. She discusses how she defied low expectations. and her searing experiences as a mother to her mentally ill son. Key Discussion Points: Overcoming Expectations:  Amanda shares her personal experiences of navigating criticism and low expectation and the role books played in boosting her confidence and igniting her imagination. Recognising individual talents as a pathway to resilience in challenging times. A Mother’s Heartache: Amanda’s emotional journey as a mother, addressing her son Josh’s battle with depression and suicidal thoughts. Insights into the enduring impact of mental illness on families. Coping strategies and ongoing lessons Amanda and her family are learning while navigating her son’s depression. Shifting Perspectives on Therapy: Amanda’s evolving relationship with the concept of therapy. The transformative power of seeking professional help in dealing with mental health challenges. Find Amanda: Website: https://www.amandaprowse.com/ Books: http://www.amandaprowse.com/books/ Instagram: @mrsamandaprowse Support links: MIND: www.mind.org.uk  YOUNG MINDS: www.youngminds.org.uk/ SHOUT: https://giveusashout.org/  BACP: www.bacp.co.uk Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Books: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/books/everyfamilyhasastory Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Bamford are offering 15% off all bookings until the end of the year. Book your treatment online at bamford.com and use the code 'THERAPY WORKS’ to access your exclusive discount. If you would like to know more about membership of The Club by Bamford, a new luxury private members club in the Cotswolds that provides a 360º wellness experience incorporating health, fitness, and holistic well-being, please visit bamfordclub.com or email applications@bamfordclub.com This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Julia sits down with long-time friend and remarkable beauty entrepreneur Trinny Woodall, and embarks on a deeply personal and enlightening conversation. They delve into Trinny's journey, unveiling the strong woman beneath her beautiful presentation, a woman who has surmounted numerous hurdles - the greatest of which being fear. While few of us may have Trinny's fantastic style, her internal struggles and the way she's navigated a myriad of complex losses are profoundly relatable. Together, Julia and Trinny explore a range of topics and provide us with valuable insights, heartfelt anecdotes, and moments of wisdom, laughter, and even tears. Key Discussion Points: Fear – the fear of fear: Trinny candidly opens up about her experiences with fear, revealing how she confronted this paralyzing emotion head-on and emerged stronger. Being a woman in a man’s world: Trinny shares her perspectives on what it means to navigate a world where women are often faced with unique challenges, offering empowering insights and experiences. Our relationship to our home- the roof over our head: The conversation turns to the significance of our homes, exploring the emotional and psychological connections we have with the places we live. Women's relationship to money and how our ignorance is profoundly disempowering.  The importance of family and chosen family: Trinny and Julia discuss the concept of family and how it can extend far beyond blood ties, highlighting the profound impact of chosen family members in our lives. Reshaping the painful past for a brighter future: Trinny's journey of taking the positive aspects from her painful past and transforming them into a driving force for her present and future is explored, offering listeners inspiration for their own lives. The importance of friendship: Trinny and Julia emphasize the vital role of friendship in all of our lives. Listening to this episode is not only an opportunity to gain unique insights into Trinny Woodall's life but also a chance to be uplifted and inspired by her journey of overcoming fear, embracing the past, and cherishing the importance of friendship. Buy Trinny's new book: https://amzn.eu/d/5SBvgbf Listen to Trinny's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/fearless/id1700872334 Follow Trinny: @trinnywoodall Bamford are inviting listeners of the podcast to experience their targeted holistic treatments at their wellness spas in London or the Cotswolds and are offering 15% off all bookings until the end of the year. Book your treatment online at bamford.com and use the code 'THERAPY WORKS’ to access your exclusive discount. If you would like to know more about membership of The Club by Bamford, a new luxury private members club in the Cotswolds that provides a 360º wellness experience incorporating health, fitness, and holistic well-being, please visit bamfordclub.com or email applications@bamfordclub.com This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello Therapy Works listeners! I hope you all enjoyed Season 3 of the podcast and if you happen to be tuning in for the first time I do recommend that you go back and listen to the amazing conversations I’ve had with my wonderful guests. Whilst we are in between seasons and taking a little summer break, I wanted to answer some questions about therapy that I get asked on a daily basis. As you all seem to be loving the segment with my psychotherapist daughters, I’ve asked Emily and Sophie to help me answer a question today and that is - what are the biggest myths about therapy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello Therapy Works listeners! I hope you all enjoyed Season 3 of the podcast and if you happen to be tuning in for the first time I do recommend that you go back and listen to the amazing conversations I’ve had with my wonderful guests. Whilst we are in between seasons and taking a little summer break, I wanted to answer some questions about therapy that I get asked on a daily basis. As you all seem to be loving the segment with my psychotherapist daughters, I’ve asked Emily and Sophie to help me answer a question today and that is - when do you know it's time to see a therapist? This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello Therapy Works listeners! I hope you all enjoyed Season 3 of the podcast and if you happen to be tuning in for the first time I do recommend that you go back and listen to the amazing conversations I’ve had with my wonderful guests. Whilst we are in between seasons and taking a little summer break, I wanted to answer some questions about therapy that I get asked on a daily basis. As you all seem to be loving the segment with my psychotherapist daughters, I’ve asked Emily and Sophie to help me answer a question today and that is - how do you find the right therapist? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Vanessa describes with great honesty her experience of living with an alcoholic husband. The difficult decision to end her marriage and the resulting challenges she faced. Her loneliness, along with the necessary reframing of her future. 45% of marriages end in divorce which can lead us to treat it as ‘part of life.’ In this conversation we hear how very personal that experience is, and what a loss. In this episode we discuss:  What led to the end of her 8 year relationship and how painful and hard it was to acknowledge that it was the end. Vanessa describes her loss for the future she imagined, and the fear this new unknown engendered in her. It was the first time she felt she had failed, and how difficult that was. As Vanessa experienced her loss it took her to the point of not wanting to wake up in the morning. Given how labile and emotional the separation was, the actual divorce was mechanical and discombobulating. How over time she managed to create a new version of herself. Vanessa couldn’t control what she felt, but she found that she had agency in building her resilience. Vanessa was helped by her toolkit of resources: exercise, friends, parents and setting goals like the marathon. Through this she did find growth and discovered she could survive difficult challenges. Links mentioned in episode: Sophie mentions the Therapist Uncensored Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306   Julia mentions a paper by Jeffrey Arnett on Emerging Adulthood: http://www.jeffreyarnett.com/ARNETT_Emerging_Adulthood_theory.pdf Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

David Harewood is a celebrated British actor, presenter and author. I was very moved by this honest and courageous conversation. I both learnt and felt enriched by it – as you will. It is a must listen.  We discussed many important issues: David recalls the years of racist abuse that pulled him apart.  How important it is to have an integrated sense of identity and the struggle he experienced being black on the outside but white on the inside.  The importance of holding clashing identities in the container of one’s being.  How having a psychotic episode can be traumatic to remember, or shameful, so we try to forget it but it haunts us. We also touch on the power of revisiting the experience, which can bring growth and a sense of agency.  How influential our social environment, trans-generational trauma and stress is on mental health. How the history of racism in the UK and USA is different, and we don’t talk about our links to slavery in the UK. How in daring to face the past, it is possible to reset one’s sense of identity and build a strong foundation from which to go forward.   Books mentioned in episode:  Maybe I Don't Belong Here by David Harewood This Is Not America: Why Black Lives in Britain Matter by Tomiwa Owolade  Watching The English by Kate Fox David's Documentary on Psychosis: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00052mn Support links: Mind: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/psychosis/useful-contacts/ Rethink Mental Illness: https://www.rethink.org/help-in-your-area/support-groups Turning Point: https://www.turning-point.co.uk/services/mental-health/friends-and-family-mental-health.html  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are some episodes of this podcast that are more heart-breaking than others. This is one of them. Lisa Smart describes in loving detail the terminal diagnosis, illness, and the death of her beloved 22 year old daughter, Emily. Lisa also shows us how she has learned to live and love again despite the tragedy of her daughter’s death. In this episode we discuss: How living with someone who is dying focuses the mind, and helps you recognise the preciousness of time. Things that don’t matter fall away. Despite her daughter’s inability to move, she guided the whole family through the last 6 months of her life – you will learn what a difference this capacity to plan, prepare and act (e.g. planning her funeral, writing letters) makes to the living after her death. We discuss the fear around death and how the antidote to that fear is love. Emily loved them all into their future without her. We discuss how different family members navigated their grief in different ways. We explore how we are all changed by grief.  We talk about how our relationship with the person we love who has died changes but continues after the death. How connecting with the person after their death, feeling close to them can help with the loss Support links: My Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/ Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sadie Frost is an English actress, producer and fashion designer, who ran fashion label Frost French and a film production company. She is also the mother of four adult children.   Whilst Sadie’s roles may seem distant from our own experience, everything she discusses with me, in this open and honest conversation, is very relatable. You will see yourself in her challenges and learn how she has managed them.  We discuss:  The shock of our children becoming adults and how to manage this transition.  The challenge of living alone and how to keep oneself balanced in order to connect effectively with friends and family.  How to manage one’s childhood self that can sometimes override one’s adult self. Particularly given the trauma of her past.  How she has learnt what really matters in life How one's relationship with time changes - over time!  How the joy of small things gives us peace. Emily's recommended exercises you can do as a parent of an adolescent/young adult: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O0XK3vegh2A45zV196NAUjEs2nfJDQZ2/view?usp=sharing Support links: Seek counselling: https://www.bacp.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amber Jeffrey is a celebrated podcast host and online community facilitator. Her work & podcast, The Grief Gang,specialises in grief, breaking down the stigma of it, one conversation at a time. One of the great innovative changes that has swept through the grief community in recent years-- through access to social media--is the voice of bereaved young people. This younger generation tends to be more honest about their experience. In doing so improve our understanding of what it is like to be ‘a griefster’ leading to better support. In this energetic and at times funny conversation between Amber and I, you will hear the warmth of our friendship, that has created deep trust and allows Amber to explore aspects of her grief that she has never explored publicly before. In this episode, we talk about: When and how someone dies has a huge impact on the impact of their death. How anger is a natural but often unvoiced aspect of grief – it can cause havoc - and yet shutting it down can also cause harm. How the pain of loss for the person who has died, which links to the intensity of the love – can block adapting to the loss. Explore the existential question of whether we can turn pain to purpose, or sometimes just let tragedy be a tragedy. How the relationship with the surviving parent can be impacted – when they ‘move on.’ The unvoiced and taboo thought many have ‘did the wrong parent die?” How pre-existing fault lines in family systems can be ignited, in Amber’s case, racism. How grief can change one’s perception of what matters and give freedom to enjoy the sheer preciousness of life. Support links: CRUSE: https://www.cruse.org.uk/  CHILD BEREAVEMENT UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/  GOOD GRIEF TRUST: https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Will Young is a singer, actor and author of multiple hit singles and albums of the last 20 years.  If you are like Emily, Sophie and I you will remember Will Young from his nascent pop self in Pop Idol, the first of the talent shows that we all became hooked on.  You will be grateful, as I was, at Will Young’s capacity to have this conversation about profoundly important and complex issues with me, a total stranger.  The quality and depth of our conversation was defined by his willingness to be spontaneous. Being open. Daring to explore aspects of himself, his life and his talent that was not curated, but therapeutic.  When you listen to this episode you will hear us explore: His childhood trauma at boarding school and it’s lasting legacy on his mental health His experience of depersonalization/derealization disorder and Emily’s explanation of these disorders The different ways he regulates his nervous system and how he ‘gets back online.’ How he built his resilience, one aspect being singing for 30 minutes a day.  Will’s relationship with his voice and how it is ‘his best companion.’ We talked about the suicide of his twin brother Rupert. Bringing into awareness the narrative that ‘some people can’t get there’ in a culture that is always looking for fixes. Will’s creative energy being channelled in many different directions, particularly in the face of the toxicity of the music business. Our ambivalent relationship with attention.  When you take this episode out of your ears, your mind and body will be buzzing with new ideas, thoughts and responses to life. You will definitely be left feeling inspired.  Support Links Childhood trauma: https://lookthroughtheireyes.org/what-is-childhood-trauma/  Suicide prevention: https://www.papyrus-uk.org/  Sibling bereavement support: https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/bereavement-support/supporting-brothers-and-sisters/  More information on depersonalisation and derealisation: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/blog/tips-for-coping-with-depersonalisation-and-derealisation/  Find Will: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willyoungofficial/?hl=en Will's Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2zi1QKto2CGMfqiJfANljz?si=6274f223450e4e5b Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My conversation with Meg is one that touches on universal themes about love and life. Who is my life partner going to be? How and when can I have a baby? What can I do and how can I create the life I want when the odds seem against me? In this episode, you will hear topics that put you in mind of your own life, and Meg’s decisions will give you insights into how she made the life she wanted.  We discuss: How to navigate the imperfect messiness of huge life decisions.  How the death of someone we love can create moments of absolute clarity and change everything.  The difficulty in managing the not knowing of fertility treatment and the rollercoaster of failed IVF attempts. The agony and grief of early baby loss.  The luck of being born into a loving family and having a steadfast loving parent. The resilience of having that team support helps in times of intense loss and uncertainty.  In all of it, being a gay couple was the least significant aspect of her life and not a challenge that needed to be faced.  Despite the terrible odds, faith and hope enabled huge challenges to be overcome.  Support links: National Childbirth Trust: https://www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/same-sex-parents/two-mum-families-sharing-experiences-and-support NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/having-a-baby-if-you-are-lgbt-plus/ways-to-become-a-parent-if-you-are-lgbt-plus/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rosie Jones who has cerebral palsy is known primarily for her comedy appearances and stand up, she is also an established writer, actor and author. This is a great episode, open your ears, your mind and let go of many assumptions that we all make about being able bodied and having a disability; this conversation will inspire and fascinate you.  We discussed : Rosie’s great strength is her ‘constant optimism’, which has been a big part of her success in life personally and professionally – and how exhausting it is. You will hear how for Rosie having a disability means she has to overcome everyone’s assumptions first, before they connect with her. For her, having cerebral palsy is not 1% of who she is.  Rosie talks about how incredible her parents were and how she had to educate them to extend their expectations of her – she is always breaking down other people’s limits that they assume and impose on her.  How humour is a brilliant connector and barrier breaker – humour can mean we, in that moment, have a shared reality. How therapy enabled her to reconfigure who she was, what she wanted and how to get it.  We have a lively discussion about her sexiness, dating and her decision to come out as gay at age 28. Having never spoken to Rosie before, I cried, laughed and became a huge fan in a nanosecond. If you listen to this episode, I have no doubt you will too. Find Rosie: Instagram: @josierones Website: https://rosiejonescomedy.com/ Books: https://www.waterstones.com/author/rosie-jones/1013806 Tour: https://rosiejonescomedy.com/live/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe -- This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/THERAPYWORKS and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am very grateful to Joanne for having the courage to talk to me about her estrangement with her daughter.  Estrangement in families is stigmatised and coated in shame and so it isn’t something we hear about very much, although research shows one in five families have a level of estrangement.  In this episode, you will learn: How frightening and painful it is to be estranged from one’s child  How fast the estrangement can be from believing everything was fine to being removed from their life  How important it is to recognise that even as therapists we can’t fix others and hard it is to hear distress Strategies to maintain resilience, including connection to her friends, given how horrendous the not knowing, and sitting and waiting is.  Also we discuss ways she can stay connected with her daughter, without triggering further estrangement.  We need to recognise, in all families, that each member of the family has their own reality, which maybe different from ours, and allow everyone’s reality to have a place. How it is often through flexibility, being realistic and future focussed that bridges can be built. How small steps are the most effective. Acknowledging how painful this is is and how it’s helpful to recognise that we can’t look for an upside. Some things are just awful.  Support links: Stand Alone: https://www.standalone.org.uk/ Links referenced in the podcast: So you want to stage an intervention: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/helpers-so-you-want-to-stage-an-intervention/ Someone I know is being abused. Shall I call the police?: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/someone-i-know-is-being-abused-should-i-call-the-police/ Find Julia: Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe -- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is an episode about change, and showing how even change that we want and choose can be hard to process.  The wonderful Dr Rupy Ajula is a well known Doctor who founded The Doctors Kitchen and believes that food is a powerful medicine. He has succeeded in life because of his innate warmth and genuine intent to make the world a better place. He talked to me about the challenge of moving from being a practising Doctor in the NHS to being an entrepreneur and businessman.  In this conversation you will hear about: - How tricky it can be to form a new identity and a new sense of legitimacy in a new role. Particularly if it presses your buttons of ‘How much am I allowed’ and when it challenges our values of what is ‘good.’ - The challenges of building a business that is in public view, and therefore open to the opinions of others. How hard it is to hold trust in one’s own purpose and meaning.  - Fascinating insights into what influences us as adults, is what has been modelled for us as a child.  -The strengths and particular nuances of being born a British Asian, how that influences him and inspires him to go forward, and yet his parents wish to protect him from the very risks they took.  - How developing our true self and finding our own identity; sometimes we have to go away in order to be able to come back.  - The amazing power of a gratitude practice. You will hear how this simple practice has shaped and supported Rupy to enable him to be the man he is today. - How gratitude can influence you to reframe what is difficult or negative to something that brings an opportunity. Aligning trust as a guiding force – ‘even not right moves are right moves.’ Trust enables him to tap into his innate guiding force and find his path.  - Love is the strongest medicine; how love gives him strength being ‘Held by the hands of the people that love you.’ - We discuss the power of food, it is generative as a way of loving family, friends and neighbours. As well, of course as curative physically.  Find more information on Dr Rupy: Website: https://thedoctorskitchen.com/ Instagram: @doctors_kitchen Podcast: https://thedoctorskitchen.com/podcasts/ App: https://thedoctorskitchen.com/app/ Find Julia: Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe -- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As a parent watching your child suffer is unbearable. For Clare her beautiful son Harrison aged 16 admitted to feeling suicidal.  Clare’s conversation with me, which is deeply personal and painful, represents the mental health pandemic in young people, which is wrecking lives – individually, in families and in society as a whole. In this episode you will hear: The first time Clare heard that Harrison was contemplating taking his own life, how devastating it was, and also what a relief that he did tell her.  How Clare was split in two – between being his loving caring mother and a human being trying to find a solution to his problem. How, as a parent, we all, and Clare in this case, looks back and wonders what did I miss? What did I do wrong? Did I build him the wrong way? The pervasive sense of guilt as a parent when we can’t fix our child’s problem. The intensity of the struggle Clare and her husband had in trying to find him the support her child needs – incompetence, lack of care, lack of resources, constantly hitting brick walls. To the extent that Harrison still has no consistent support now. You will hear one of the distressing episodes of Harrison’s breakdown and how traumatising it is for the whole family.  Clare’s inspiring determination to keep Harrison alive, and fight for his support. Her description of the catalogue of failings In a Mental Health system which is broken and fractured.  How, as a family they live with the burden of this terror, that Harrison might one day succeed.  We want this episode to help you have conversations in your family to ensure that your loved ones can be honest with you about their Mental Health, as prevention is the best cure. Also it’s important we recognise the scale of the problem in Children and Adolescent Mental health Services so we can campaign to improve them.  Important support links: Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L.) - https://www.callhelpline.org.uk/ Maytree Suicide Respite Centre - https://www.maytree.org.uk/ James' Place - https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/get-support/ Shout - https://giveusashout.org/ Calm Halm - https://calmharm.co.uk Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org Child Mind - https://childmind.org/ Charlie Waller Foundation - https://charliewaller.org/ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As most of you will know Ruby Wax is a comedian, actor and author as well as a mental health campaigner.  Our conversation was particularly powerful because we got under the hood of the performer Ruby, and gained insight into who she really is, and how she got to be who she is. In listening to her honesty you will connect with yourself and recognise some of the influences that led you, the listener, to be you.  We discussed complex issues like: What led Ruby to be ‘not as well as [she] thought [she] was’ and her breakdown after 12 years of being stable. Why her experience of depression was like a ‘holocaust inside’.  How we navigate together the difficult line of describing her experience without triggering her to drop back into it. The power of comedy as a defence and as a way to bear the unbearable We discuss the roots of Ruby’s depression and how it stemmed from the abuse and terror of her childhood and how that terror lives on and plays out in our daily life, even if managed.  For Ruby being at home is a place of threat and how she feels ’trapped’ when locked inside her house for too long. You need to listen to this episode if you want to understand depression, yourself and what can help you.  Buy Ruby's new book: https://amzn.eu/d/aaTlK7b Find support at the Frazzled Cafe: https://www.frazzledcafe.org/ --- Please buy a ticket to my Masterclass, 'Change your family dynamics with Julia Samuel at The School of Life' on 16th and 22nd May: https://www.theschooloflife.com/amsterdam/julia-samuel-change-your-family-dynamics/?utm_source=colla&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=juliapodcast Discount code: TheSchool_Julia Find Julia: Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 -- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to Season 3 of Therapy Works! To mark the publication of the paperback of my book Every Family Has a Story, we decided to do a role reversal and I invited the fantastic comedian and podcaster Cariad Loyd to put me in the therapy chair. Can I just say being interviewed is not my happy place! Although I did love this conversation, as I ended up being very open, I laughed, cried and said things I have never said publicly before.  The topics we covered: We discussed my mother being an alcoholic and how that led to me becoming a psychotherapist.  The complexity of our relationships, that people often want to label them as good or bad, and how relationships are full of contradictions: love, hate, fury, gratitude, compassion  How I changed through my training as a therapist, and the moment I allowed myself to surrender to the profound love I felt for my children.  How I wanted to 'love my children into being' as opposed to love being like work at times. My ambivalent relationship with attention – wanting it and feeling ashamed for wanting it.  Emily and Sophie touch on the importance of stories in families and how helpful it has been hearing me share these experiences.  If you want to know me better, and hear how I see myself, my children and my attitude towards my work then you will hear it all in this episode.  This is terrifying for me to release. Just saying… but I hope you all enjoy! Please buy the paperback of Every Family Has A Story: https://amzn.eu/d/56Bpppd Find Julia: Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 -- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For those of you who don’t know Zoe Blaskey, she is the founder of Motherland, the host of the brilliant podcast of the same name and a transformational coach. For those that do know her I think you will be delighted by this open and honest conversation, from which I learned so much.  Zoe is a mother of two and openly speaks about learning to lean into what she was struggling with, which was every aspect of motherhood. This conversation is full of nuggets of wisdom and simply a joy to listen to – in it we discuss: How to deal with big emotions - we might be brought up to believe we are ‘too much’ and block our emotions through many negative behaviours, but over time we can train ourselves to respond differently, by allowing them and even validating them.  How change takes a huge amount of learning – whether it’s books, workshops, therapy and podcasts. Whilst the process can take longer than we want or choose.  The emotional load of motherhood and what can protect us from burn out.  The division of labour between two parents – how old systems can get played out unconsciously and now there is a NEW way – through the book Fair Play (see below for link).  The power and gift of handwritten letters that we send or even write but don’t send.   When we look at transgenerational patterns it opens up our understanding and compassion for our parents and grandparents. It has the ability to change our outlook and increases our level of appreciation towards them. This is an episode that I think you can go back and revisit time and time again, you will see yourself in it, your children, your parents, siblings and partner. It will provide you with a new way of seeing yourself and others which might be empowering or a relief. Find Zoe: Website: https://www.motherkind.co/ Motherkind Podcast: https://www.motherkind.co/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zoeblaskey/ Link to the book, Fair Play: https://amzn.eu/d/cm9SuES This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Abi Morgan is the brilliant screen writer of huge films like The Iron Lady, Shame and the hugely successful TV series, The Split. She is also the author of the memoir ‘This Isn’t A Pity Memoir’ charting the devastating story of her husband’s illness in which she was ‘absolutely the same and profoundly changed.’ As someone who uses words as a profession, we discover in this podcast that Abi uses words to help her think, to make sense and connect, and to enable us to enter her internal world. Abi does this with speed and eloquence, so hold onto your coat tails and listen along with us as we dive deep into her whirlwind of a story.  In this episode we discuss: How trauma is truly devastating and yet how minutiae or humour can feel life-saving. That while we are in the crisis, which is relentless and frightening, we can’t truly feel or face it, often we deal with it in retrospect. How through her work Abi may have unconsciously been answering the puzzle of herself – maybe we all do this at some level? Why love is a live thing – it is communication and action, it is messy and annoying,  and it can even be dead and then the profound revelatory truth, it can return. As Abi puts it, ‘Love is the flower in winter that says nothing.’ The paradox of using artifice to find truth. This is an episode that will marinate in your minds – it’s a true gem of an episode and incredibly powerful too. Find Abi: Instagram: @abimorgan9 Book: https://amzn.eu/d/2N6JlVj Find Julia: Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 -- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I am joined by Jonny Wilkinson, widely known as the best British Rugby player of all time, who represented England and British and Irish Lions, and is famous for scoring the winning drop goal in 2003 at the Rugby World Cup Final.  We all need to hear this conversation as it challenges many of our fixed beliefs about winning and losing, control, success and freedom. Jonny broke through the chains of limiting beliefs and is someone who shows us that in order to do so we have to want to change and put in the work.  In this episode you will gain insights into: How wanting control can trap us – and surprisingly, it’s when you give up control that you are then empowered. Insights into winning and success, is thrilling in the moment and yet long term it can feel empty or it can be the thing that robs you of feeling like you are enough when you constantly chase it.  Life is a process of moving towards our true selves, we never arrive at a fixed destination.  The concept of plenty rather than insufficiency is a way of being in the world that is much less stressful. How powerful it is to look inwards and why we should all be asking ourselves questions like ‘who am I really?’.  Becoming more aware that on a daily basis we are given messages that we are under threat and have to fight to survive.  This conversation with Jonny truly gives us life enhancing insights of how to both protect ourselves and yet remain true to ourselves in a place of compassion and calm. Find Jonny: Instagram: @jonnywilkinsonofficial Website: @jonnywilkinson Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/i-am-with-jonny-wilkinson/id1610549437 Find Julia: Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off. --- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This beautiful, moving and revelatory conversation is about loss and also of course, about love. Dr Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist as well as the host of the extraordinary podcast A Slight Change of Plans which was Apple’s Best Show of 2022.  In this episode we discuss: How to navigate a life full of unexpected challenges, particularly around fertility. We discuss surrogacy, a subject that is new and still relatively unknown to most and particularly the physical challenges of gestational surrogacy.  How surrogacy involves creating a personal and intimate relationship with a stranger and trusting them with the responsibility of carrying their most precious being - their baby.  How we can make our family from the people we choose to love.  How Maya is thrown into the rollercoaster of hope and despair when it comes to fertility – as she says ‘everything in fertility humbles you.’ Maya discusses the meaning of the loss of an early miscarriage, how utterly devastating it is, and how the small acts of kindness from others gave her forbearance to somehow weather the pain of it.  How important it is to recognise in a world of fixing and toxic positivity that you can’t escape the pain of loss.  This episode is an incredible example of how listening to live, real connected conversations between two people who barely know each other and yet feel a deep connection is how we learn about ourselves and others.  This is an inspirational episode — not to be missed.  Find Maya: Instagram: @drmayashankar Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622 Support links:  Miscarriage association: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/ Sands (stillbirth and neonatal death): https://www.sands.org.uk/ Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off. --- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you want to hear someone who is crazily famous and who is totally unchanged by her fame then you want to listen to this wonderfully open and honest conversation. It is tender, funny, warm and wise. Evanna Lynch is best known for her role as the quirky Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter, she is also a podcaster, a supporter of animal rights and an author. She is an incredibly interesting woman that I know many young people will relate to.  Amongst the many interesting topics we explored were: Evanna’s relationship with fame – the unprecedented level of success she experienced, how she struggles to find a way to live with it and to still have a connected ‘normal’ life. How the depth of connection from having genuine deep conversations is far easier than small talk.  Her passion, which is infectious, to protect innocence – in all things, animals, children, the environment. How we can drive ourselves mad trying to find an attributable reason for our negative, self-harming behaviours when sometimes there just isn’t one.  How it is legitimate and normal to feel existential pain without needing to ‘do’ anything to fix it. It is also important to recognise that there can be times, that we need to address it, and the sooner we deal with it, the better the outcome.  The power of small trivial things like chocolate to give us little moments of joy that can see us through a dark day.  Support links:  Beat: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ Find Evanna: Evanna is currently starring in Under the Black Rock at Hackney's Arcola Theatre, head to the website to buy tickets here: https://www.arcolatheatre.com/whats-on/under-the-black-rock/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evannalynch/?hl=en Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off. A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My first conversation with Geraint John on this podcast had a big impact on you all. You were moved by his honesty and the psychological difficulty he faced for himself and his whole family when his beautiful wife Debs was terminally ill. This conversation is as heartrending, letting you know how he, Debs and his family have navigated her devastating loss.  This is a powerfully emotional episode which will help you understand yourself as a griever and the grief of others. You will see again, that grief is by no means tidy - it’s messy, chaotic but can also be profoundly beautiful.  In this episode we discussed: The complexity of talking about dying with the person who is dying and the tricky navigation of wanting to be protective and yet truthful. There is no easy way to bear the pain of witnessing the death of a partner and parent, it is hellish, and yet it’s important to have no regrets. The importance of the funeral which was both a performance and an intimate act of love.  How to find a way of having birthdays and ordinary days when your whole life and the life of your children is irreversibly changed.  Wanting a house full of love for the whole family, where the perception of what matters is forever changed, on the whole for the good.  Bring your hankies, cups of tea and hugs of others for afterwards.  Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Important links: If you are in need of bereavement support please visit Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Please visit Child Bereavement UK if your children are in need of support: https://www.childbereavementuk.or A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off. A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  --- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Susannah Constantine is a former TV fashion guru (one half of the eponymous What Not To Wear duo), TV presenter and author. This conversation is full of therapeutic light bulb moments where Susannah begins to see something familiar in a new way. As you also might expect like anything with Susannah, it’s also full of laughter, wisdom and humanity.  Topics we discuss include: What we inherit from our parents. The difficulty of ‘putting on a show’ and how it blocks you from truly knowing yourself. How fear can hide behind a bravado and that sometimes the fear needs to be anaesthetised because it isn’t faced.  The journey to recovery from alcoholism. The harm that lies do to us personally and how they start to create disconnection with others.  The challenge of talking honestly to our children, wanting to both protect them from ‘our own stuff’ and also protect ourselves from their judgement – but it only builds up the walls between us.  Important links: Susannah’s new book: https://amzn.eu/d/6TVR51Y  Website: https://susannahconstantine.co.uk/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susannahconstantine/?hl=en  Support links:  Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/  Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off. A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Andrew G. Marshall is a well known marital therapist and I sat down with him to discuss the grief he felt following his father’s death. His understandings are rooted in his decades as a therapist and have a particular clarity I think many of you will find helpful. In this episode, we discuss: How the death of a parent in old age is still a big psychological event and brings up many related losses which are often unrecognised.  The power of the unconscious, how we can limit who we are and how we are in the world when we only focus on our conscious lives.  For those with parents who are still alive, this episode is a timely reminder to have those important conversations before they die - don’t pretend they are immortal.  Be patient with friends and family - allow time, space, commit, endure and try again if they are resistant.  The power that rituals hold and how they can help us to move through the pain. Finally how, despite our fear, when we walk towards our pain that is when we can heal. It takes courage, but fear is exhausting and pervasive and this is a route to releasing yourself from it.  I won’t spoil the drama in this episode but suffice to say there are some big surprises - to do with wolves, rituals and tattoos…!  Support links: Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Grief Works book: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/books/grief-works Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Fear-Anyway-Indecision-Confidence/dp/0091907071 Find Andrew G. Marshall: Website: https://andrewgmarshall.com/ Podcast: https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

*Trigger warning - includes references to racial abuse that some listeners might find distressing* This is a fast moving energetic conversation which will at times stop you in your tracks. Trisha Goddard is an extraordinarily successful actress and television presenter. In this deep and emotionally revealing interview, Trisha takes us on a ride with courage and honesty. You will discover how she overcame enormous adversity and how she has finally found love and happiness at the age of 65 years old.  There is so much you will relate to. We discuss: How an intelligent woman who has tremendous insight and instinct professionally can be blind to red flags in her personal relationships due to early attachment issues.  The racist abuse she experienced, which is both internalised and normalised in much of her life.  How the political and social movement, Black Lives Matter, transformed Trisha’s own understanding of racism. How formative her schooling was. Education, reading books, and a couple of excellent teachers was her salvation.  The emotional cost of the breakdown of her 20 year marriage. How her relationship with her two daughters after years of complexity evolved to be one of healing and closeness. They discovered the power of honesty, that the truth, as hard as it is, is curative.  And finally the heart-warming story of how she found love and her list of 20 questions she asked him before she agreed to date him. What would your 20 questions be? Important links:  Ten critical questions before embarking on a relationship: https://www.exeter.ac.uk/news/research/title_672700_en.html Therapist Uncensored Podcast referred to by Sophie in episode; https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?i=1000593377798  Explanation of Dialectical behaviour therapy: https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402  Black Lives Matter UK: https://blacklivesmatter.uk/ Find Trisha: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealtrishagoddard/?hl=en Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is an episode you need to listen to if you want to understand the experience of suffering mental illness. Yvette, as one of our unheard voices describes with stigma blowing clarity what it is like to live with mental illness. She suffers from bipolar disorder, depression and binge eating.  The first thing you will realise is that suffering from a mental illness is very different from having difficult feelings. It is a serious, life changing and often misunderstood condition that can be managed but takes a huge effort to do so.  In this conversation, we touch on:  The mood swings of bipolar disorder, how seriously unwell it can lead someone to be and the scary nature of a manic episode. The way bipolar and binge eating influence each other. Yvette goes into detail about eating all her strong feelings - and how she expresses her anger.  On how depression ‘tells you lies’. If you have suffered depression, or are close to someone with depression you will find Yvette’s description of depression illuminating.  How being a young person entering a mental health unit can be thought of as shameful but how Yvette felt there was a fellowship and it was an important space outside of home that was curative.  How ’suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem’. This is truly something to hold onto and we should use to influence ourselves and the other. Her story gives us all hope when life gets terrifyingly dark. Finally how choirs should be an NHS prescription and how curative singing can be to lift spirits and connect with others. Yvette’s wisdom from facing such huge challenges comes from a deep knowing. She acknowledges that you don’t have to fix everything at once but just focus on one day at time. If you are suffering from similar feelings, just remember feelings are not permanent and you won’t feel like this forever.  Support links: BEAT: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/ Rethink Mental Illness: https://www.rethink.org/ Bipolar UK: https://www.bipolaruk.org/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self. A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There is so much to tell you about this fantastic conversation with Bryony Gordon. You will love it. I was gripped by her. She is a headlining journalist, with a column and features with notable public figures. She has written many brilliant books charting her life and in the process showing us what it is to be diagnosed with OCD, depression and addiction.  We discussed a feast of topics including: The pressure of expectations. We are expected to live happily ever after, and that in itself can set us up for failure. We looked at an alternative view of expectations during our conversation.  The irony that successful people are often troubled, and how the push to succeed often means shrinking one’s true self. (I warned you we got deep!) We discussed how our childhood’s shape us, but that is not the end of the story, and nor is blaming. With the right tools and attitude we really can change our response to our childhood and vitally the way we parent.  How hard it is to feel like you belong, how vital it is and how we can find our tribe in unexpected places.  The madness of trying to have control, and the peace that surrender brings in so many aspects of life, addiction being one. The idea of perseverance is powerful. You fall, you get up you go again. It is in effect the definition of resilience, and acknowledges that piece we often forget, we all fall but it's the getting up and going again that’s difficult and vital.  And finally how baffling life is but we can find strength in knowing ourselves, and having the courage to turn to ourselves with kindness.  There are so many layers to this conversation and I’m sure everyone will take away something valuable from this conversation. I’d love to hear your thoughts so please message me on instagram @juliasamuel or email therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com.  Support links: OCD Action: https://ocdaction.org.uk/ Mental Health Mates: https://www.mentalhealthmates.co.uk/ Heads Together: https://www.headstogether.org.uk/ Beat: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ Find Bryony: Column: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/authors/b/bp-bt/bryony-gordon/ Books: https://www.waterstones.com/author/bryony-gordon/55496 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bryonygordon/?hl=en Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this profoundly moving episode, Suzanne opens up about all the challenges that surrounded her mother’s death during Covid-19. Covid was an incredibly difficult time for all of us but the greatest challenge had to be the heightened complexity of a Covid death. Many of you will resonate with Suzanne’s moving story and the psychological difficulties the Covid restrictions imposed on all of us. In this episode, we discuss:  The heightened complexity of a Covid death and the mental toll caused by the restrictions. How we grieve for the future as well as the past. When anger contaminates all your feelings, you should turn to a 4 step tool to help you release it. Why it’s never too late to have rituals when someone has died - nor is it ever too late to mourn. Grief is held in the body and often feels like fear.  While we internally acknowledge that we are mortal, we never acknowledge that we will all be bereaved at some point in our lives. Support links:  Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Grief Works App: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Grief Works Book: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/books/grief-works Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Rangan Chatterjee is a medical doctor who has translated his learnings from decades of experience as a GP into 5 best-selling books and his No 1 Health podcast Live Better Live More. I am a huge fan of Rangan and was lucky enough to be a guest on his podcast and can now call him a much-respected friend.  This wonderful conversation takes us into the personal process of Rangan the man whose biggest achievement is his unique journey which has now led him to pursue a more joyful and vibrant life.  You will find many ideas and concepts in this conversation that will expand your awareness of how you engage with your life, and with it, the possibility of positive change. In this conversation, we discussed:  The burden and intensity of being a carer in the family How authenticity and the intention with which we respond to events – by duty or genuine choice - has a huge impact on our emotional cost.  How a desire to be the best can influence us and how being the child of immigrants who experienced racism informs our response and the need to perform.  The radical concept of conflict as an opportunity to grow; to explore what is really going on and learn more about oneself. The foundation of which is trusting that we are innately enough.  What triggers us as humans and how we react in the moment. Why do we take offence or choose not to take offence? Support links: Carers UK: https://www.carersuk.org/ MIND UK: https://www.mind.org.uk/ Find more information on Dr Rangan Chatterjee: Website: https://drchatterjee.com/ Podcast: https://drchatterjee.com/blog/category/podcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ This episode is sponsored by by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today’s special reflection episode, we discuss our experience of working together as family and as therapists. As in all things therapeutic it is important to reflect on what we’ve done - good and bad so we can continue to learn and grow for the next season.  We discuss: The importance of stories and having a narrative in therapy.  Why like therapy, it is a mutual benefit because we’ve gained and learned a lot from our guests.  How we’ve been so blown away by our guests who have allowed us to have these private even intimate and therapeutic conversations in public.  We explored the concept of self compassion as a resource to turn to when we are suffering as opposed self criticism which came through every episode. As Emily said ‘Don’t beat on yourself when life is beating you.’  How much we value the relationship with our listeners and how thrilled we are that you are building a relationship with us.  We are so grateful to you for listening and hope you will all join us for season 2 launching in January!  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Christmas can be tricky even when we aren’t facing a particular challenge. And it can be extra hard when you’re grieving or going through other personal difficulties.  In today’s episode, the three of us discuss: Acknowledging that Christmas is always intensified as there’s always pressure to have to a perfect time.  Why we all need to be realistic and recognise that not everyone is going to be happy all the time and that’s ok. It’s important to take the pressure off. Children have more feelings - tantrums as well as joy and why you should ride the waves of emotion.  Allowing for difference - if you have new family members or friends joining you for Christmas then allow each person to introduce their own Christmas tradition.  Why Christmas can be challenging in blended families and why great communication and clear planning can help. Grief at Christmas can be very hard - we discuss ideas to help support you through it. Tips on what to do if you’re spending Christmas alone  We hope that whatever you might be doing this Christmas, that it’s as happy as it can be and that you all have a brilliant end to 2022! Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Because her edict was to find that pocketful of happiness in each day. Feeling no guilt seems an incredibly generous and welcome gift to have been unexpectedly given by her." Richard E. Grant is an actor, author and director who has appeared in over 80 films and television programs, such as Withnail And I, Star Wars and was previously Oscar nominated for his supporting role in Can you Ever Forgive me?. His beloved wife Joan died in September 2021 after a battle with lung cancer and in September 2022 he released a memoir called A Pocketful of Happiness mostly written in the last year of his wife’s life.  In this episode we discuss: How grief is influenced by the circumstances of death and how not having regrets is an important factor that makes the difference between a good and bad death.  Recognising that the process of grief is an oscillation between loss orientation and restoration orientation. Why it’s important we update our understanding of grief, it isn’t about forgetting and moving on but remembering and connecting, sometimes with the pain.  How the love for the person who you’ve lost never dies. Why you can experience guilt in grief and allowing yourself a pocketful of happiness can protect you against guilt.  We discuss how men and women grieve differently, and explore the possibility of new relationships after a partner has died.  We discuss the parent/child relationship, touching on boundaries, connection and what might be ok and not ok to share.  How much of life is down to luck and the power of our attitude in our outcome; when we manifest and believe in ourselves and see the negative as a challenge to be overcome rather than something that defeats us.  How important it is for friends to support us in pre-bereavement, when we are bereaved and how distressed one becomes when close friends don't show up.  Find more information on Richard:  Website: https://www.richard-e-grant.com/ Instagram: @richard.e.grant Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pocketful-Happiness-Richard-Grant/dp/1398519472  Support Links: Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Good Grief Festival: https://goodgrieffest.com/ Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Join a mission to transform one million lives and become a money coach: https://octopusmoneycoach.com/become-a-financial-coach A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Claire’s son Chris was 13 when he was accidentally hit by a car on his way home from school which left him quadriplegic and unable to speak. This is a story that is both hard to hear, because we prefer to keep the reality of these devastating events out of mind, but also inspirational. Despite this tragic accident, Claire shows how it’s changed her perspective on life and taught her to appreciate what really matters. In this episode we discuss:  The importance of communication, of not struggling alone. It’s vital to allow yourself to feel and ask for help. People don’t know what you need unless you tell them. Why love is the strongest medicine. Claire’s love for Chris and the love she shares with her husband enabled them to build resilience personally and collectively as a family. The recognition that hate is a heavy contaminating burden to carry and how voicing her anger and resentment releases this. How we have the power to choose the attitude we take, despite being powerless in what happens to us.  A severe life changing injury to someone in our family is devastating. It is a painful road to come to terms with such a massive loss. Whilst allowing the feelings we have in the present, it is helpful to acknowledge that feelings change, what we feel now doesn’t predict how we will feel in the future.  How there are often other casualties in a family when tragedy strikes.  The assumptions we make about disability and what life could be like can be turned on their head. We learn that Chris has a meaningful, important and worthwhile life despite his profound disabilities.  Why faith can keep us grounded and that looking towards a higher power for answers can give us strength and meaning.  How we can find strength despite enormous loss and how we will never know how strong we are until we are forced to discover it.  Child Brain Injury Support links: https://childbraininjurytrust.org.uk/ Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe If you'd like to get in touch with the Therapy Works team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com. A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!  Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“The shortest distance between two people is laughter" My next guest is award-winning actress, Helena Bonham Carter. She is a total original, funny and wise, thoughtful, irreverent and utterly herself. In this joyous, meaningful and wide ranging conversation which had moments of great humour it was Helena’s inspirational wisdom that ran through it most profoundly. In this conversation, we discussed: The big dilemma we all face in finding our purpose and the complexity of what makes us human How Helena won’t let difficult events defeat her but she “will make music of what remains” How we are all a multiplicity of beings and why it helps us to choose life and joy and not take ourselves too seriously The painful consequences of divorce, what helps and how it takes proper time to process these big life changing events  The wisdom of the Victorians to wear black at painful times to honour the loss and let the world know “I am not my normal self”  How singing can be a marvellous antidote to self criticism and shame Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe If you'd like to get in touch with the Therapy Works team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com. A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!  Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Until you’ve been there, you don’t know what war is." Yeva Skalietska is an unusual guest for this podcast, being a 12 year old school girl - but she has already had to experience many things that no child ever should. At a time when there may be Ukraine fatigue, this is a conversation that we all need to hear.  On this podcast you will hear how each therapy session has its own character, and this is an example of me not being my best self. I was uneasy and tried too hard which meant our connection was not optimum. However, above all you will takeaway:  How important it is to be grateful for the things in life we take for granted. How hard it is for so many of us to picture the real horror of war.  The curative power of journalling that both enables us to process terrible experiences and support ourselves to have a clear narrative of what seems chaotic.  How one person can change the course of our life by making the right decisions for the right reasons. How we are at the mercy of forces beyond us, both good and bad.  How faith and the belief in God can be sustaining and give us hope when our world is being destroyed.  The difficulty of the meaning and word refugee, which can be imbued with shame and objectification.  The power and vital importance of the place we call home which we may take for granted.  Yeva’s Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Dont-Know-What-War/dp/152665993X  Refugee Support: Red Cross: https://www.redcross.org.uk/get-help/get-help-as-a-refugee/help-for-refugees-from-ukraine#Emotional%20support Refugee Council: https://www.refugeecouncil.org.uk/our-work/mental-health-support-for-refugees-and-asylum-seekers/ Donate to support Ukrainian Refugees: https://www.actionaid.org.uk/changelives/rg/donate-to-help-refugees?gclid=Cj0KCQiAyracBhDoARIsACGFcS522gzkWUKhEvUmDMghlyBSgwUkDhWtr7_5fZ79dYkUxadGACT475IaArAKEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds  Join a mission to transform one million lives and become a money coach: https://octopusmoneycoach.com/become-a-financial-coach A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks. --- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

*Trigger warning - this episode may make references to depression, drugs and suicide.* “I was dealing on and off with very bad depression, which I think in the early days leading up to my breakdown, I dealt with through drink and then I dealt with through this obsessive need and desire not to drink, which I probably replaced with an obsessive need and desire to work all the time.” We learn most from hearing the truthful stories of others. We learn even more about what it is to be human when we get beneath someone's external performative self and learn what they actually feel on the inside. Alastair Campbell is a remarkable example of someone who has been powerful at the heart of the political world as the former Director of Communications and Strategy at 10 Downing Street and also owned and expressed his inner mental health challenges.  In this remarkably open and illuminating episode you will learn: The confusion between mental and physical illness. Because mental illness is invisible, unlike physical illness we find it harder to legitimise our mental states. How mental health isn’t separate from the system and society within which we live. The link between depression and addiction, and how it can be inherited. Why a breakdown can be incredibly painful, it might be the route to a break through and will allow you to develop better coping mechanisms for life’s difficulties.  Why it’s incredibly painful to witness our adult children suffer and being powerless to help. The dilemma and boundary we face between self-care and selfishness.  The wonderful illustration of the jam jar which triggered my Freudian slip and includes tools for wellbeing that holds back malevolent depression. The dilemma and boundary between self-care and selfishness.  Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com. A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!  Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

*Trigger warning* - This episode includes references to suicide and physical abuse. "I grew up around men that, you know, kind of spoke with the hands and not with the mouth." In this incredibly powerful and moving conversation, David reflects on hitting rock bottom and finding hope in the darkest of times. Topics discussed in this episode include:  How he overcame a violent childhood when one’s parent used aggression rather than words How hard it can be to be an authentic sensitive man when surrounded by toxic masculinity The idea that the cards we are dealt when we are born is down to luck but how we play them is shaped by our choices and decisions. Why the question is not why the addiction - the question is what is the source of the pain it is anaesthetising? Why we are constantly on the hunt for more and don’t know what we have to be grateful for until it’s taken away. — Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 If you are in need of support please visit:  https://switchback.org.uk/ - London based prison rehabilitation charity  https://www.hardmantrust.org.uk/directory/ - finds support services for prisoners A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks. --- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Would they prefer a gay son or a dead son was genuinely a question that went through my mind more than once a day." In this week's episode, I am speaking to the wonderful Mohsin Zaidi about the importance of belonging and the bitter struggle he encountered with his identity. We explore: The tension that arises when our core identities are different from what we believe they should be Why courage is something we must grow and it may take years to find the courage to be true to oneself How expanding our external world expands our internal world and may enable ourselves to inhabit ourselves more fully How secrets and lies can poison and destroy you When you despair, it's important to remember to be patient and to not put too much pressure on oneself Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Read Mohsin's book here: https://www.mohsinzaidi.com/ Important Support: Stonewall - Support for LGBTQ+: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/ Mermaids - Helping gender diverse kids and their families: https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/ It Gets Better - A project to uplift and empower LGBTQ communities: https://itgetsbetter.org/ If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com. A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!  Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. If you'd like to be unknown voice on Season 2, please send in a one minute video about a challenge you've faced to jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“I know a few women, even in my circle, have survived sexual trauma. And they all go back to the same thing and they talk about the moment where they changed. It's not to do with what somebody did to them physically is to do with they they know when they when their sense of self shattered.”  Today's episode is both heartbreaking and heartwarming. I am joined by single mother, Jess, who opens up about her own turbulent childhood. This therapy session definitely brought up a lot of different issues surrounding family, the complexities of motherhood and the scarring impact of sexual abuse. In this episode we discuss issues around:  The impact of our parents choices on our mental health The devastating life shattering impact of sexual abuse and how the focus culturally has been the physical event but it can come in many forms How sexual abuse isn't always physical and can be subtle and can be harder to recognise The joy and complexity of having a baby and how it inevitably brings up our own issues The importance of community and how there are many diverse ways people can make a family Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Important links: Support for people who are estranged: https://www.standalone.org.uk/ Support for sexual abuse victims: https://safeline.org.uk/ --- If you are an unheard voice and want to share your story, please email jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“I feel like I always kind of longed for that family set up and I've got it. But although I feel loved and and I love my family, I've also kind of fallen into being a stepmum where I also sometimes feel that it's not my family.” In this moving and revealing conversation Kate Ferdinand opens up on subjects that affect us all. This conversation explores:  • How her childhood shaped her and in particular her relationship with her father • The complexities and joys of being a stepmother and we can have multiple loves all at the same time • How love for those that have died lives on in the family, becomes part of the family and needs to be integrated by those joining them • The difficulties of social media and why comparison is the direct route to misery • Her own experience of miscarriage and why she needed to be open about it  • How she has had to learn that expressing difficult feelings can release her from old, hardwired patterns • The notion that love is the strongest medicine — Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com. If you are in need of bereavement support please visit Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!  Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

(Trigger warning: this episode contains mentions of illness and includes references to bereavement) “A bomb hit us and yeah. I can't even remember really stuff before that, that was then and and this is now and that was a real turning point in our in our lives.”  In this searingly honest episode Geraint explores how to ‘carry on’ being a dad, a business owner and manage the day to day whilst Debbie, his beloved wife, is in hospital with stage 4 cancer.  We discuss the searingly difficult topics of: That seismic moment when your life changes forever The hard part of wanting to protect your children but learning how to have difficult conversations Knowing how to implement good coping strategies but learning how to admit to feeling helpless Learning how to appreciate the happy times despite the difficulties and how to survive when in the middle of a roller coaster life crisis Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Important links: If you are in need of bereavement support please visit Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Please visit Child Bereavement UK if your children are in need of support: https://www.childbereavementuk.or --- Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Life is an oscillation between being very hard and very good.” In this first ever episode of Therapy Works, Julia Samuel is joined by Minnie Driver who touches on some fundamental challenges we all face in life and gives a fascinating insight in how to manage them. In this conversation we explore:  What we inherit from our parents and how that can impact our choices and outcomes How we can learn to live with our wounds but can never erase them How the loss of Minnie’s beloved mother has changed her outlook towards life The crucial importance of hope and how that tiny flicker of light that can help us survive when we feel we can’t Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!  Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Therapy Works: the podcast where Julia Samuel helps her guests confront life's biggest challenges. Launching on Wednesday 19th October 2022. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices