SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma

Kareem is joined by deep-cut friend of the pod, Blake Bensman, to discuss his SubwayTake that men should pee sitting down, including its health benefits, Kareem’s curation of a museum of mayonnaise (July 9th 6-8 pm 155 Suffolk Street NYC), more urination strategies, the handwashing gossip of a major network news anchor, additional approaches to personal hygiene, the “Long Island Compromise,” the stinky situation of corporate life, how and where Kareem and Blake know each other (from Minneapolis to New York City), Blake reshafting his irons, a Puerto Rican hole-in-one, and we take some calls from the SubwayTakes Hotline–call in at 917-336-8340 to leave your take to be featured on the show. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Producer and A/V Editor: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kareem and Andrew inaugurate the new video version of the podcast by meeting in person at SubwayTakes HQ in Manhattan. Kareem, with a somewhat hoarse voice, recaps the crazy energy of the Zohran Mamdani election victory party, the allegations surfaced as a result, the continued rise of Islamophobia, what’s for lunch today, young Ramy's romantic entanglements in his acting class, the ongoing saga of New York City’s most dangerous asset (window-mount air conditioners), and a brief discussion on the production of the Bill Burr episode of SubwayTakes. No hotline this week: leave your take at 917-336-8340 to be featured in upcoming episodes.  Hosts: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Video/Audio Editor and Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kareem is joined by Annie Hamilton, to reconsider her original take, the absolute avalanche of DMs she’s received since, the reveal of the controversial censored joke she told on the show, how she landed a book deal because of her appearance on the show, if it accomplished the goal of all goals (getting laid), whether or not Annie and Kareem have “the thing,” the ruination of Annie’s life/art, Kareem’s life plans and terms of address, how Annie is an honest liar, why Kareem’s nickname is Mr. Grumpy, Annie's many (many) alternate takes for the show, and we take some calls from the SubwayTakes Hotline–tune in to see if your take made the show.  Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Audio Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kareem, from his office in Manhattan, with filmmaker and SubwayTakes “Head of Politics” Anthony Di Mieri, from his place in Bushwick, discuss decluttering, Anthony healing his chronic tardiness, his life plans and location history, his role in Zohran Mamdani’s campaign, the state of Italian-American affairs (including the emerging Little Italy in Williamsburg), the currency of brain rot and mainstream news, an update on Dimes Square vibes, where the perfect level of fame resides, the future of indie filmmaking, the reflective nuance of SubwayTakes, and we get to a handful of takes from the SubwayTakes hotline–tune in to see if your take made the cut. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Audio Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kareem, from his office in Manhattan, and Andrew (SubwayTakes co-creator and producer) from his home in the Hudson Valley, analyze Mike Birbiglia’s illustrious aura, recap Kareem’s wild weekend of schmoozing and commerce, his warning to Andrew Cuomo, an honorific to the recently departed Billy Jones, an update on Annie Hamilton’s take (she can no longer take the subway), and we take some calls from the SubwayTakes hotline. Then, Kareem is joined by Mike to recap his take, Eric Adams’s lust for gold, Kareem’s new fear of being deported, one of Mike’s runner-up takes–a bathroom key should never be attached to a block of wood–how to responsibly open a bathroom door, how Mike worked out his new special The Good Life, the taxonomy of nipple hardness, Kareem’s romantic entanglements with regard to fame, the merits of the MTA museum, Mike’s heritage and possible mob ties, and, as always, Takes on Takes©. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Audio Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kareem, from his office in Manhattan, and Andrew (SubwayTakes Co-creator and producer), from his home in the Hudson Valley, recount Kareem’s Denver bachelor party weekend, how and where to get gonorrhea (aka the saga of Bathhouse), Kareem suffering from success, how many ways there are to die in New York City (specifically the peril of most window air conditioning units), the crooks behind the scaffolding industry, Kareem’s possible political bid as a socialist republican, the funniest and/or most-embarrassing way to perish, friend-of-the-pod Lev’s new drone footage account @globaldronetravel (tell him Kareem sent you), and the first taste of the SubwayTakes call-in line–did we discuss your take? Tune in to find out. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Audio Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kareem, from his office in Manhattan, and Andrew (SubwayTakes Co-creator and producer), from his home in the Hudson Valley, talk over Andrew’s recent nuptials, his Vows feature in The New York Times, the liberal use of the word “creative,” making your own trophies, Kareem’s feud with the paper of record, an update on Andrew’s foray into social media, walking through Kareem setting up a Google Voice number (347-746-5518) where listeners can call in and leave their takes, how Kareem lived his own personal Garden State, an update on Kareem’s BMI, avoiding being washed in old age, more excerpts from Andrew’s Vows piece, campaigning for a bachelor party location, music during birth, some current trends in penises, and more.  Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Audio Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From their studio and basement, respectively, Kareem and Ian rehash his original take, why Ian’s display name on the podcast app is Shrimp King, how the ‘90s were the pinnacle of…everything, the taxonomy of gremlins versus goblins, body dysmorphia in men, the etiquette of riding the subway as a public persona, the phenomenon of Ye’s latest track, moving to Thailand to sell carpet or wood paneling, everyone smashing their phones, life on the road, airport habits, the abolition of scrolling, how Kareem got disgusting, addictions, the ingenuity of the Autoblow (use promocode SKA at checkout), and, as always, Takes on Takes©.  Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Audio Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From their offices, Kareem and Willa rehash Willa’s original take, how dating apps are like buying a used car, why SubwayTakes is a dating app, reminiscing on apps like Yik Yak, Grouper, and LiveJournal, Willa being mistaken for Cazzie David, Willa’s experience so far as the youngest-ever Editor-In-Chief of Cosmopolitan and Seventeen, the etiquette of declining a marriage proposal, how therapists are easily manipulated, the “waste of time”-style relationship, Kareem’s recent engagement to his wife, a handful of dating tips and, as always, Takes on Takes©. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Audio Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"People are real down on the subway lately but I still like taking it!!" Kareem and Michael continue on the train and talk about Michael's directorial debut, Eric Larue, directing as a way of developing every character in a movie, Kareem and Michael's future buddy comedy where they open an indie Target (and also their buddy drama where they're roommates), male best friend breakup stories as a new genre, Michael's love of R.E.M., doing a cover band, being a loafer, having a fake Chicago accent, Windsor Terrace, how being from the midwest makes you endearing, GoFundMe to pay for a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, not being invited to the Oscars, there are too many screens on the subway, Michael's colonoscopy and other stuff. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Camera: Maksim Axelrod and Tian Sippel Editor: Tyler Christie Mixer: Dale Eisinger Associate Producer: Ramy Shafi Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From their homes, Kareem and Rachel get down to brass tacks on vanish mode, signing documents, executive dysfunction, living alone, boarding schools, Rachel’s Carrie Bradshaw era, the West Village Girl phenomenon, Kareem’s old website, “real jobs,” the dynamics of the group chat and its accompanying drama, friendship fallout, national security issues, the amazing Zach Schiffman, the names of group chats, purpose-based group chats, the dream group chat, herniated discs, aspiring to chef levels, and, as always, Takes on Takes©.  Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Audio Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From their home studios, Kareem and Jay revisit banana hammocks, saying “congratulations” for birthdays, what Jay calls “summertime penis,” the politics of a Speedo, the dongs of various Greek gods, Lenny Kravitz’s ever-present bulge (and infamous dick slip), the demographics of what we’re calling “the hat draft,” funky ass white boys, the great new band The Paradox, aging into our true selves, the merits of customer loyalty, mushrooms as Unc drug, a defense of bisexuals, the FUBU resurgence, and–as always–Takes on Takes©. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Sound Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From their home studios, Kareem and Paul re-litigate how Heinz is the best ketchup of all time and why fries must be included with the price of a burger. They also dig into bald-guy and gap-tooth representation (does David Letterman have a gap?), fashion tips for aging cool guys, wasting time in the gym, what are Miracle Whip, Clamato, and club soda exactly, the Italian race debate, Paul’s ties to the mafia, the importance of a butter bell, pancake strategy, cooking for their children, accidentally ordering bottle service, and–as always–Takes on Takes©. Also: why is Heinz ghosting Kareem and Paul after offering a trip to their ketchup factory? Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Sound Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Fundamentally, everyone is a good person!" Kareem and Ramy continue on the train, grab a meal at IBN Hamido in Astoria, Queens and and talk about finally peeing after you've been holding it for too long, probiotic yogurt causing sharts, Ramy's new animated show #1 Happy Family USA on Prime Video, turning into a dad with manic energy, babies eating sea bass and wagyu, maximizing the Chinese buffet, getting your beans confiscated at customs, Kebab Dylan, Ramy looking like Bad Bunny, how everyone can use a thousand bucks, going to Egypt every year, Ramy Salami, non-muslim people saying inshallah, mom-aganda, calling international with phone cards, Kareem getting the black lung by being underground so much, having a hot wife is haram and other stuff. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Cameras: Ari Cagan and Tian Sippel Video Editor: Tyler Christie Editor and Sound Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From their homes, Kareem and Abdullah also discuss NYC smelling like worms, slugs are unhoused snails, Abdullah's alt take that was "we should make farting socially acceptable" but it had already done, two cat households, Kareem needing a bodyguard, brown guys at Vice, what it felt like when Abdullah got the phone call greenlighting his show Deli Boys, eating shit sandwiches in Hollywood, deciding to being the mysterious strong silent type at 34, America rewarding assholes, Abdullah's take was mansplaining, when your therapist is also your couple’s therapist, debuting the new sting for our weekly segment TAKES ON TAKES, no shoes households, Kareem getting cast for Deli Boys Season 2 and other stuff. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Sound Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From their homes, Kareem and Joyelle also discuss White spicy, Black Las Vegas, Kareem v. Karim v. Krem, Oprah v. Orpah, being North African American, Italians are white, everyone should be forced to work as a server for a while, omakase, eating everything with chopsticks, all men wishing they were standup comedians, rawdogging life with no therapy, being head of social media for the Army, monoculture, how most coffee shops are bad now, calling your mom a b*tch and other stuff. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Sound Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From their homes, Kareem and Hari also discuss how Florida is America's dick, Trump-style takes, the Dakotas don't have enough people, odd numbers, Kareem doesn't know state capitals, land acknowledgements, square shaped states, states that are mid, people wearing shoes inside is a colonial mindset, it's never too late for butt stuff, Al Cowlings, nondiscriminatory racists, Kareem going to tanning salons and other stuff. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Mixer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Queens is the KING of all Boroughs!" Kareem and Nigel continue on the train and talk about drifting his bike at 4yrs old in his grandmother's driveway, signing with the legend Dave Mirra, going viral on YouTube, how "selling out" isn't a thing, the Brooklyn Banks, riding his bike 40hrs a week, sending emails and doing zooms, Nigel's iconic subway platform jump photo, time lengths on therapy, Paris, his new Air Jordan collab, custom Rimowa cases for his bike, immigrant parents and other stuff. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Camera: Anthony DiMieri and Thomas Kasem Lim Editor: Tyler Christie Mixer: Dale Eisinger Associate Producer: Ramy Shafi Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Leaf blowers need to be eradicated from the face of the earth!!" Kareem and Cate continue on the train and talk about blowing v. sucking, Kareem's sunglasses as camouflage, Cate wearing white sneakers but still being a real fornicator, Feluccas, her new movie Black Bag, Kareem being the most famous mole man in NYC, Cate disliking dirty glasses, the Australian epidemic in NYC and other stuff.   Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Camera: Anthony DiMieri and Thomas Kasem Lim Editor: Tyler Christie Mixer: Dale Eisinger Associate Producer: Ramy Shafi Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Young people have such an important role to play but they don't know how to play it!!" Kareem and Jane continue on the train and talk about Jane's good legs, Laura Dern, Kareem being cast as Jane in a movie, Kareem not looking like any of Jane's two husbands, inspiring young people to be activists, dogs as emotional beings, spirituality, rat intelligence, the existence of bigfoot, voting for the future and other stuff. Plus, a behind-the-scenes chat with SubwayTakes co-creator Andrew Kuo. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Camera: Anthony DiMieri and Willem Holzer Editor: Tyler Christie Mixer: Dean White, Jake Bowman Associate Producer: Ramy Shafi Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Servers need to stop saying HOW'S EVERYTHING TASTING?" Kareem and John continue on the train and talk about having a personal connection, good sons, escalators, brushing teeth on camera, being overdressed v. being underdressed including yoga pants, John's new live show Mr. Romantic, not really watching your own movies, what is comedic acting, Steve Brule, leaf blowers and other stuff. Plus, a behind-the-scenes chat with SubwayTakes co-creator Andrew. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Camera: John Connor Hammond, Ari Cagan, Tian Sippel Editor: Tyler Christie Mixer: Dale Eisinger Associate Producer: Ramy Shafi Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We need more BLACK MOVIES." Kareem and Ferg continue on the train and talk about music videos, cowboy boots, Ferg's dog Crash, animals generally, feeling lost, the group chat, Kareem's suit, glizzys, Kareem's rock n roll music and other stuff. Plus, a behind-the-scenes chat with Andrew. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Camera: Anthony Di Mieri and Willem Holzer Editor: Tyler Christie Mixer: Dale Eisinger Associate Producer: Ramy Shafi Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Restaurants GOTTA STOP singing happy birthday to ADULTS" Kareem and Hasan continue on the train and talk about Hasan's hair routine, Kareem's hairless cats, djinns and other stuff. Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Camera: Willem Holzer and Tian Sippel Editor: Tyler Christie Mixer: Dale Eisinger Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SubwayTakes is doing podcasts now. This is a trailer.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices