4: IOE #04: Strengthening Self Confidence Through Self Validation
In todays session were going to be discussing the concept and very important muscle of self validation. Self validation is something that I know I had to develop, acknowledging and recognizing my own strengths, and reinforcing them when I do a good job. It's something that I've seen amongst many other leaders of large organizations, teams, successful athletes, have the capacity to recognize the things that they do well. The definition of validation is recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings and opinions are valid or worthwhile. If you ever want to be a mover or shaker and create something of value and have the courage to travel your own path, you have to have the ability to look internally and acknowledge what is, acknowledge your weaknesses openly and honestly with yourself, and develop a capacity to be able to recognize your strengths and your positive actions. Self validation is a really ironic dichotomy right because people confuse it with ego and it really is not ego. In fact, ironically most of the people with a very large ego externally, are that way because they have an inability to flow hardcore self-love, so they develop a hard exterior, showing the world that they are an unaffected and that they don't need your approval or your support. Ironically the people that can really acknowledge the things that they're super good at as well as the things that they're not so good at are generally more raw, and vulnerable, and honest. When you're communicating with them they're more capable of receiving feedback. So what I'm inviting you to do one of the things I'm inviting you to do through today's session is, drop the guard a little bit, drop whatever predisposition or prejudice you have about telling yourself that you're fucking awesome, and being able to take a hard look at yourself and communicate to yourself internally. what it is that you enjoy about yourself. You know as a practice through a really awesome leadership seminar that I did where they forced us to write love letters to ourselves on a daily basis, and it's a practice that seemed really goofy at first, and then what's actually inspiring today's topic, is I recently stumbled across an old journal from 2014 from years ago and I wasn't quite as established. I was in a little bit of a difficult position financially but emotionally incredibly strong and writing to myself frequently and I stumbled across one of these letters which inspired me to talk about the purpose of being able to hold your position in space. Being able to be unshakeable and that starts with a foundation of being able to acknowledge what it is that you're good at. I'm inviting you to drop the necessity to externally defend yourself, your beliefs, your positions, or your actions, because in reality that generally derives from a position of feeling insecure. Internally all of us are most certainly the hardest critics. So instead of being externally brash, and harsh, and defensive, and then internally you know being overly critical. I would like to invite you to practice internally being incredibly loving and then just watch what happens externally as a result of practicing that you know. One of my favorite quotes that TR Vector's said or wrote I should say in “Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind” which is a great book for up and coming budding entrepreneurs is whatever you put your attention on, expands. It might sound silly to sit there and say Hey I really loved the way you brush your teeth this morning, got out of bed, set your kid up for success, cooked him an awesome breakfast, reinforced the fact that he's an awesome bad ass and you know is in control of his environment. Sent him to school with a kiss, and a hug, and some positivity, so that he could be the best 3rd grader he could possibly be and then you went to the office and you really gave it your best. I really liked the way you handled your phone call with so and so, you know what you put your attention on expands. If at the end of the day you don't have the ability to say hey atta boy Joshua, if your name's Joshua, that's when I say, you're gonna need to start searching for it externally. So operating from the position of what you put your attention on expands, as you continue to validate yourself for the things that you're doing well in life. Inside Out Empowerment is produced by me Joshua Nussbaum. 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