How a history of violence almost ended in manslaughter

Emmanuel was the youngest of six children. He was also the only boy of the household. As a child, Emmanuel’s father would often disappear for weeks or months on end, during which time Emmanuel would eagerly anticipate his return.

One night, Emmanuel would be woken from his sleep as his father unexpectedly stormed home. He had roused the entire household because a dirty cup had been left in the sink. He got Emmanuel and his sisters to stand in a row and stood before them with a wooden spoon in hand. He then proceeded to ask each child who had left the cup in the sink. Emmanuel hadn’t done it but, in order to spare his sisters, he claimed responsibility. 

What consequences would Emmanuel face for his bravery? And how would his father’s subsequent treatment of him contribute to the anger Emmanuel would feel later in his life?

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Emmanuel. His frank and moving reflections on dealing with neglect and violence are profoundly appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.

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