THE RAY EPPS STORY: THANK GOD CONSERVATIVES ARE THIS STUPID - 9.20.23

SEASON 2 EPISODE 39: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:43) SPECIAL COMMENT: NOW the Deep State has done it! NOW the Deep State has made its 27-Dimensional Chess move to cement the place of THE conspiracy in place and it will be left only to a few patriots and the Dilbert Guy to carry the torch of truth. Because WE knew it didn’t add up because Ray Epps had never been charged and now the evil genius bastards have CHARGED RAY EPPS. He could get up to 90 days and be fined maybe 500 dollars! American!

The conspiracy to frame Donald Trump is the greatest conspiracy in the history of the world and it was designed to make it look like Trump lost the 2020 election and destroy Jon Voight’s chances of winning a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Oscars and make Joe Rogan look stupid. Well, MORE stupid. And then when the LEAK happened – the provocateur – the FBI plant who started it all and whose fault it all is – Ray Epps talked all the Trump supporters into going into the Capitol even though the other part of the conspiracy says everybody who went INTO the Capitol was Antifa - when it was revealed by the investigative team of Maria Bartiromo and Cat Turd that the feds left one nearly invisible loose thread – that the Deep State claimed Ray Epps wasn’t a plant yet they never CHARGED Ray Epps, they suddenly DID charge Ray Epps yesterday and the masterminds behind this vast earth-shattering conspiracy decided to cover their tracks and silence all protest forever by…charging him with one misdemeanor count of disruptive conduct and he’s pleading guilty today.

And yet there it is, across Right Wing Looney Tunes land, the utter conviction, the absolute certainty from each of them that they alone have noticed that Epps was charged with one negligible offense and has seemingly already made a plea deal and that the rest of the world didn’t notice – everybody but Catturd, who valiantly stood up and braved assassination probably by typing “You’re not fooling anyone, Feds!"

Oh god are they stupid.

And The Stupid was all around the circuit yesterday: somebody used Matt Gaetz's printer to produce a copy of his resolution to oust McCarthy as Speaker, then left it in a Baby-Changing Station to be found by a reporter. Tim Scott was stupid enough to attack unions. Trump attacked Biden with the 25th Amendment and got everything ABOUT the 25th Amendment wrong. And 46 Republican Senators wrote a letter complaining about the relaxed attire rules in the Senate when the owner of their party wears bronzer, spray paints his hair, and lives inside a baseball cap.

B-Block (19:52) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Peter Baker thinks the job of the president of the United States has actually been made tougher by something written by a guy who is evidently a columnist for The Washington Post. Add it to the list: Trump either doesn't know how the 25th Amendment work or thinks his cultists don't. And a Texas school district fires a teacher for reading The Diary of Anne Frank to 8th Graders because it was too sexy.

C-Block (27:32) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: My least favorite near-death experience? United Nations Week here in Fun City! My MOST favorite near-death experience? When the president of MSNBC chased me around the studios threatening to destroy me. God that was funny.

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